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I need to stop. This is ruining me.  

 
ccpt
 ccpt
(@ccpt)

Hi everyone,

This is my first post. I'm 34 years old, and have a problem with gambling especially online casino for the last year. I've lost all my savings, into my overdraft and maxing out my credit card circa £20k. In February I had a massive win that cleared everything off my debt - even life changing for me and it should've all stopped there. But few weeks later I went  back in April, thinking that I can replicate the big win and do it again..... as you guess it all went wrong. I've put myself into further debt literally lightening speed than before I can imagine £30k. I'm disappointed and felt sick of myself. I could've started a fresh in February but decided to put myself back into this rabbit hole. What is wrong with me!!

I got in touch with Gamcare in April and been in touch with a councillor. Which I've stopped till last night my first major relapse. I can't even believe I'm writing this but I lost over £8K not even my own money - how I was able to do that..... I'm angry at myself that I'm able to deposit via paypal that I even know I don't have the money in my account. I've just kept chasing and chasing and now put me further down worried where I going to get the money for this paypal payment coming out my bank account. 

I've message my councillor this morning and told my close friends who know my situation and is trying to help. My brother knows and I haven't told my parents as this will completely destroy them. 

I need to make sure I got everything self excluded and put a banning software, I was in clear denial that I kept an account timed out and when it expired I went back in. 

Money wise for me now - I'm very worried and not sure what I can do I haven't got anything left in my bank, savings or credit cards - this is stressing me out a bit currently. 

I feel like my life has just turned upside down last night. This need to stop now, this addiction is soul destroying.  

Quote
Posted : 4th July 2020 9:51 am
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Hi ccpt. The more I read people's stories I'm convinced gambling is not about the big win it can't be, you won big paid off debt few weeks later you lost big again !! I to have done same thing more than once not massive win but fair amount paid stuff off then repeated the cycle. My last v big binge I won paid things off gambled again and ruined what I paid off within 3 days! I'm 31days without gambling after my husband found out. I've installed blockers and husband has full control of finances I have no cards no access to bank accounts etc. I am now coming to terms with this being a lifelong addiction same as alcoholism and drug addiction but with gambling it's the destruction in such a short time it's crazy. Ok so what are you going to do about the PayPal it won't go away other people on here have had issues with PayPal . You need to find some way to sort this out without gambling, Gamcare also give advice on who to contact for financial advice. I wish you all the best and hope you manage to sort things out and get on the road to recovery

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th July 2020 2:55 pm
Kevthekev40
(@kevthekev40)

Oh my friend 

The big win is to drag you in and your not stupid everybody on here has made mistakes if gambling was so easy to beat I don't think we'd all be loosing grands to it pick yourself up I just need to go get my son

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th July 2020 3:50 pm
Dazza85
(@dazza85)

I feel for you totally. I understand completely and understand exactly how you feel because reading this it could be me writing it. Im going through the same right now. 

 

Collectively we can stop and beat this ! Try to see a financial advisor or someone who can advise best with the financial situation, and stay on here reading stories and stop it from going any worse. Draw the line in the sand what has happened has happened but think about owning up to people close to you so they see the bigger picture too. 

 

Dazza

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th July 2020 4:18 pm
ccpt
 ccpt
(@ccpt)

Hey Charlieboy,

It is a horrible feeling, especially with the whole lockdown - what was pretty much debt free and money to get what I want and live comfortably, I decided to go in lose the lot. I just feel sick of myself and I know I need to move on from this mistake. The problem from the big win makes your mind think you're invincible. I'm pretty competitive with sports and the high of winning is a massive addiction problem and when I lose I'm a sore loser and go back in and chase. 

Paypal I'm going to have to close it - though I need to pay my losses first. I need to make sure the Gamban is set up and completely avoid gambling again. Today has been a horrible day, just thinking of my action - how am I going to sort all this debt out - and re learn money management. Gambling gives me false sense of seeing digits on the screen than real cash which is a massive downfall. 

I don't drink or smoke - but gambling is definitely my addiction and I need to kick out of this habit. 

Thank you and you too. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th July 2020 5:52 pm
ccpt
 ccpt
(@ccpt)

Thanks Kevthekev40 - it certainly is. You think you crack the system and can win all the time. Certainly not the way. This is definitely a major life lesson for me. 

My action is unacceptable and it's time for me to sort my life out and stop gambling forever. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th July 2020 5:55 pm
JohnMac
(@johnmac)
Posted by: Charlieboy

Hi ccpt. The more I read people's stories I'm convinced gambling is not about the big win it can't be, you won big paid off debt few weeks later you lost big again !! I to have done same thing more than once not massive win but fair amount paid stuff off then repeated the cycle. My last v big binge I won paid things off gambled again and ruined what I paid off within 3 days! I'm 31days without gambling after my husband found out. I've installed blockers and husband has full control of finances I have no cards no access to bank accounts etc. I am now coming to terms with this being a lifelong addiction same as alcoholism and drug addiction but with gambling it's the destruction in such a short time it's crazy. Ok so what are you going to do about the PayPal it won't go away other people on here have had issues with PayPal . You need to find some way to sort this out without gambling, Gamcare also give advice on who to contact for financial advice. I wish you all the best and hope you manage to sort things out and get on the road to recovery

Can I please totally agree with this - the number of times in recent years I've found myself with bundles of cash, either good pay periods or lucky gambling runs. But, it never mattered. It always went away eventually all down that stupid drain that we all know. 

Mac.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th July 2020 6:37 pm
Kevthekev40
(@kevthekev40)

Yeah I agree myself 

It's never really about the money until you lose it then it's the chasing to get it back and if you've had a bad loss then chase it upping your bet then you believe inside that this will happen again but we all know in the end we end up loosing and needing to deal with the fall out and to me there's nothing worse than when your all out of money and then you need to admit to it 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th July 2020 7:56 pm
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