I have had enough of gambling

I’m very surprised you were allowed to withdraw your winnings without some sort of verification or documents in the Know Your Customer part of the process. Given that you’d given a different home address. I would have thought that having done a soft search they’d have realised that it wasn’t your home address and asked to send in some ID. Surprised. ??‍♂️

Posted by: SomethingNew

Hi I would just like to introduce myself to the forum, I am a 30 year old women and I have an addiction to online gambling and once again I have blown all my salary on online slots, I have known for a good few months now that I have a problem but have been unable to take any steps to stop, after doing the exact same thing last month I tried to self-exclude myself using gam stop self-exclusion and there was a problem and I can now only do it manually and that involved taking a photo of myself with my ID which I was nervous about doing so I self-excluded myself individually from the sites that I had liked to use but I just signed up to another site and I knew I should have stopped and I was aware my money was running lower and I just couldn’t stop.

My only saving grace was that I had paid all my priority bills first.

I have been gambling for years and at first I enjoyed putting in some money on payday, if I lost I lost and if I won I cashed out, I’m not sure how I got to the point where that wasn’t enough. I have won big and that buzz that comes with a huge win only deflates a few hours later where I have gambled it all away plus spent more trying to win it back.

I need help to stop and I realise this now, I am a very private person and I do not open up to people easily at all so I can’t even imagine telling my family so coming here feels like a big step.

I am fed up of feeling this anxiety, depression every month when I get myself into this situation, and I just want to feel happy again and enjoy life, I want to sort out my debt and stop wasting my money.

I have requested GAMSTOP send me another form to complete and I am going to go through with the self-exclusion, for my own benefit I need this done before I next get paid because I don’t want to feel like this again.

Thanks for reading.

Hi

The choice to self ban is a good idea, yet it is only the first step.

I to was a very isolated person long before my additions and obsessions.

It was due to a very painful traumatic child hood experiences.

I feared emotional intimacy and even got married not knowing that I was carrying a lot of emotional baggage.

I am anon religious person and questioned if it was possible for anon religion person to heal from my additions and obsessions.

Then I understood that my additions and obsessions were a form of escaping from how I felt with in myself.

Sadly from my childhood I had built very high walls of fears that were to protect my hurt inner child.

I was for a victim in my child hood and then in time I became a perpetrator and started to dump on to other people, transferring my pains fears and frustrations on to other people.

I was in a state of emotional trauma when I walked in to the recovery program.

There were several references towards religion which very much unsettled me.

Yet today I am a non religious person and have found a very healthy life today.

With the help of the like minded healthy people in the recovery program I got to know myself more and more.

No one was going to stop me gambling that would be my choice.

Once I set a healthy boundary for myself Just for today I will not gamble I would stop hurting myself.

I was not a selfish person I was how ever a very selfish destructive person, not the same thing.

Because of the painful traumas in my life I was unable to take in and absorb education.

It was very difficult to listen to or take in healthy advice, it was very much control issues in my life.

Today I understand that my control issues were very much fear based issues.

Only once my fears reduced and I could talk about any event in my life was I ready for counselling.

How healthy am I today, do I live in any kind of fear today.

Do I get angry these days.

Am I willing to learn new skills and take up healthy habits today.

Do I value myself today.

Am I patient and tolerant with myself today.

Am I content with any kind of healthy progress today.

How much time and energy do I put in to my recovery today.

Do people who are close to me fear me in any way today, are they able to be completely honest to me today about any thing.

Do I fear emotional intimacy with any one today.

Do I avoid any kind of contact with people today.

In my time in recovery I have two people telephone and tell me that they hated me.

That indicated that those people did not fear me in any way and through talking we understood their feelings towards me.

Sticking with the recovery program is not the easy option yet it is the less painful.

Sticking with the recovery program indicates how much I value myself today more and so so much today I also value my family and my friends.

With each lie comes more fear, with each lie I am cheating myself.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham