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I feel like my soul is dead.  



i am new to this forum, so I wanted to share my story and experience with this addiction that has completely ruined my life, and maybe get some insight into other peoples life too.

i started gambling when I was 18 I am 24  right now, at first it was just to get something extra to pay off for things  son the side that I couldn’t cover with my own wages, I have had a lot of financial responsibility to help and support my family. So I would work and in my head think I will go play if I win I’ll keep winnings with myself and help out my family with my wages which was about £1200 a month in 2015 but a few months into gambling it quickly got out of hand.

at the same I was also addicted to smoking the whackyback and eventually I stopped smoking in 2017 bu I could never quit gambling I even moved to a new city away from old friends thinking it might the circle of freinds I have where as none of them gambled, if I wanted a pair of shoes clothes or take away subconsciously I’d make up a scenario of my self winning money in bookies or be it online and than pay for it but trying to win a tenner I’d loose £100 every single day for the last five years.

i have never stopped playing for longer than a day or two I really need help, I realise I am sick and I can’t get myself under control my room is messy, one very important thing I have noticed is I am no longer confident and charismatic compared to how I was when I was young I was like the most popular guy in school and college, people would look up to me I was stylish and I never relied on handouts. But once I started gambling many times I got into financial debts of over 10k with friends and my older brother would bail me out, I come from a Muslim family so gambling is not seen as something we should be doing and it is strictly forbidden and everytime they find out I get humiliated very badly one reason I keep it a secret and I get into debt is I play with my wages when I loose I borrow money to help out my family so they don’t find out I have gambled but I’m the end they always find out. 
two weeks ago I started university because I decided I should change my life I was still gambling all these years I would loose two three hundred pound every week I really don’t know how I would get that money, I got my student loan the other day and I received the maximum amount I don’t work now I lost it all.

i am banned in the bookies and online but if I walk in with the mask nobody questions, I lost the remaining amount of money just about an hour ago and I feel if me loosing over 10k since June is the cost of me to stop gambling than I am very grateful because it is very cheap.

i need help anyone who is experienced please genuinely give honest opinions and how did you succeed a week ago I joined GA and I went to a few group meetings there is very nice people there but I haven’t really followed up with thier program, I first need to get over my losses and I have to stop trying to chase it back.

sorry for this long paragraph I can’t my feelings and emotions into words if only I could,


thank you 



Posted : 19th October 2020 9:15 pm
Forum admin

Dear Lifesucks,

Thank you for your open and honest post to the forum; and welcome to Gam Care. Well done for sharing your experience so candidly and for everything that you have already started to put in to place; I know that other members will welcome you and be able to offer you fantastic advice and support. 

Might I suggest that when you are ready you get in touch with our  confidential helpline on freephone 0808 8020 133 or on our live chat, both of which are available seven days a week, 24 hours a day and where an adviser will be able to go through all the options for support with you. As well as putting gambling blocks in place you may wish to consider treatment support to look at addressing your urges to gamble, through talking, to break down the thoughts, feelings and behaviours associated with the cycle of gambling. 

We can also signpost you to advice and support around your finances and any other agencies as required. 

Wishing you all the very best, 


Forum Admin

This post was modified 1 month ago by Forum admin
Posted : 19th October 2020 9:49 pm

Hi life sucks 

sounds like your in a similar position to me I’ve had a nightmare 5-6 years of it and like you I’ve been found out once before where I came clean and I had to pay of a large amount of money 25000 to be exact  . Money which could have been spent on my wife and 3 children . 

ive again put myself into a big hole and I’m now going to have to figure out how I get out with out loosing everything 

I’m sat here after another terrible day where I’ve lost about 700 I’m lost for the reason really I’m sure you are the same 

in life if something is easy it’s probably not worth the reward that could count for an easy win or the reality that to beat this it’s probably going to take courage , grit , blocks in place and over all a desire to change and stay changed 

i read an article yesterday and it listed at least 6 young people who took there lives due to this illness . I look at those people and there no different to me . 

they were ashamed , guilty , prob didn’t feel they could turn to anyone and even when they did and got help a stigma was then full attached to them . One that once is there will always be there . A sort of untrust . 

NOW I’ve decided that I’m not going to let this be the way my story plays out if anything I now want to beat it for these people I have read about 

YES - I owe money and it’s going to be tough but I’m going to put a plan together to start paying it back 

I’m going to finally accept that I’m no different to the people I’ve met at GA I’m not better etc even though at times I’ve thought I’m not like him , I’m not as bad as her etc 

there’s still time for a happy ending and it’s never to late to change ! My brother is 45 and started uni last week . A big decision to throw everything you know to one side and to do something different. Why can’t this be any different. 

truth is I’m going to let tomorrow be a new day a new start a chance to do the right thing . I hope you can do the same 👍

I look forward to hearing how you get on , but please feel free to contact me 




Posted : 19th October 2020 11:43 pm

24 is young enough to get your act together 

i was in about 12K debt at 23 primarily from going to the casino and bookies all the time i never had any money and was constantly paying debts or people i owed i never went on holiday or trips my life just revolved around travelling back and forth to a c**P office job and sitting in my parents house all weekend waiting to go back to work 

yep life sucked back then ......but today 5 years later i dont owe a penny to anyone , i met a nice girl and we started living together ,i got a new job , set a business up on the side to create more income , i go to luxury spa's / hotels every month and holidays 3x a year

u know 5 years is a good chunk of time and my god theres been some bloody work and sleepless nights to get to this stage the first 2-3 years were really hard and i have hit god knows how many relapses in that time but i always picked myself up and got on with it 

i had to go insolvent at 23 to be able to clear all that debt , i had to get a new job i had to change my entire lifestyle 

but it was defenitley worth it , theres nothing wrong with a little gamble in life sometimes everyone enjoys the odd flutter problem is its a fine line between that and becoming consumed by it 

just take a step back and observe your life abstinence for a couple of months is defenitley key to breaking the habit 






Posted : 20th October 2020 9:48 am
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