A few years ago I worked in a sports bar, slot machines and live bingo playing all day. I was trained to spot the signs of people with gambling problems, dealt with self exclusions, even banned people from gambling on the premises. I paid out winnings, saw people lose. Then the company began to suffer. We were told to place bets on the bingo ourselves (although against the rules) if sales were not high enough bingo would be removed. No one wanted that. The company went into administration and I was out of a job with no warning. That’s where it all started. I missed my job.. the customers, the atmosphere, the bingo. I found lots of free bingo bonus’s online, lots of generous sign up offers which in the 2 weeks it took me to find a new job, kept me afloat. I was so lucky, I made a decent amount of money whilst having fun. This was 7 years ago.. since then I’ve used up just about every company’s sign up offer and been a regular depositer. Sometimes I stop for weeks, then have the odd go on an online slot machine. If I win, I’m happy. But never happy enough to stop there, il chase the buzz. If I lose, I chase the loss. I don’t bother with bingo anymore, I do slot machines.. sometimes £25/£30 a spin. Sometimes the loss is too hard to handle and I feel so depressed.. doesn’t stop me going back for me. I could freeze my bank card from gambling transactions, but as much as I know I have a problem I don’t feel ready to give that up. I feel like I’m taking away hope, like I’m surely due a nice win but il never get that if I don’t try. I know how that sounds, but it’s how I feel. Maybe that’s the addiction talking. I don’t know anymore. I’m sat here now on here, feeling pleased with myself that I haven’t used any online slots today. I currently have a bet on the football so I’m still gambling, but somehow feel like I’ve achieved something.
Hi Amy,
What you experience is indeed the addiction talking, its very common to convince ourselves to keep going as there is a big win just around the corner or some similar fiction. This is why it usually takes a compulsive gambler to hit 'rock bottom' (basically they run out of funds to gamble) before they admit they have a problem and seek help.
I did not go to GA for a good while after realising I had a problem as I knew this meant I would have to stop gambling and it was something I could not bear. This is what makes it such a self destructive addiction.
The fact that you are here means you know there is an issue. You are right to seek advice from others and see can you sort this issue. Opening up to others is the right way to start.
Hi Amyl602072 and welcome.
You are now just beginning to realise its a serious problem. It actually works like a drug addiction and you have to start looking at it that way.
If you can get a rough idea of your losses please tell someone close....You need that converstaion because you need to see the looks on non gamblers faces.
Its one of the reality checks you need. Gaps in your gambling are actually no sign of control...its the crazy stakes, when you do do it and cant stop that matters.
Ask us about slot machines...the one armed bandits as they used to be called. That term sounds too soft now for what are highly devious, borderline evil machines designed to take your money and give it to someone who doesnt want to do a proper job for a living.
You are ignoring the odds...the only people making an income stream are the machine designers and the gambling dens because they make a percentage profit per year no matter what.
For the punters its a random mugs game...the win isnt getting nearer to you on a conveyor belt.....for an addicted gambler its not about money in and money out. You are addicted to the drug of chasing, of playing which is actually a very strong drug your altered mind craves.
Ask yourself what you are really playing for and I will tell you the real odds on that. They are designed to put you in a trance...make the machine look active when its really taking your money on a slow or fast curve...so some money comes out...so what...you really know it will be going back to them very soon afterwards plus much more of your own money.
Believe me you are not due anything...the machines dont remember you...they dont know you...they dont owe you a penny. Youve seen what they have taken from you and how the tempt you. Its not an income scheme..its a random event based on a random number generator.
A cold cold random number generator the flashing lights and bonus images are designed to fill your mind with lucky clover and trance magic. Many problem gamblers are escaping from their lives and getting their drug fix
I promise you that with a full recovery you will wonder why you ever did it. You will look back at the old you as someone who was addicted delusion and even ill...yes its an illness of the mind!
I look at the gambling dens now with a deep sadness that people are inside falling for it all...I have to let it go and get on with my day...I can only help people who are ready to see the light.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Thank you for your replies, everything everyone has said makes complete sense. A few years ago, my gambling was at an all time high. We’d paid for our first family abroad holiday, well the deposit. The rest was sat in a savings account. I spent the lot on £30 spins on an online slot machine. Luckily in my last few spins I made it all back, but I felt sick, physically sick. I withdrew it all and self excluded from my most used sites. Me and my partner share a bank but he leaves all finances to me. I’d been hiding bank statements from him for about a year at least, all still in envelopes at the back of a cupboard. I realised I had a problem and gave him all of the statements to look through and I just sat at the table and sobbed. That was when I first realised I had a problem. He looked through them all, worked out how much I’d lost, saw how much I risked. He was so understanding! Told me it wasn’t my fault.. don’t get me wrong that’s lovely but I NEEDED him to be mad with me, I NEEDED to hear how stupid I was! The crazy thing is if we’re out and I have cash I wouldn’t dream of gambling it, but online it’s almost like I don’t see it as money. It’s just numbers/points to me. I’m better now, But I’ve noticed in the last few weeks I’ve dipped into money set aside for bills for gambling, found a site that lets you deposit via phone bill and ran up a £300 debt. I’m lucky to not be in massive debts but if I don’t sort this out I’m not convinced il be able to say the same in a years time. I just wish I could be ‘normal’ have the odd cheeky bet/ go on the slot machine from time to time just for fun. It hurts to know il never be strong enough for that.
I think you do know why you're here but just remember if you want to try stopping, the bookies, slots, machines, bingo, will all be there waiting for you if you stop and don't like it. Likewise, if you want to keep gambling, we'll still be here when you *** the destruction it causes in your life.
So you have a choice but remember the other choice is waiting for you.
Good luck in your decision.
Chris.
It should say g r a s P, not sure why it's starred!
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