Hi guys,
im very new to this site and admitting I have a problem with gambling (still feels awful to admit but I suppose I have been in denial about it for a while). A little about me, I am only 21 and have only recently got involved in gambling since about February. I saw my boyfriend playing blackjack online and thought that’s something I would never do, but he won £80 and was so excited, withdrew it straight away and then left it there. I thought to myself I could do with some spare change so started myself. You know how the rest goes. I really cannot believe I am here with the amount I have lost as gambling has never really interested me before and I never saw myself as an addictive person. But from the first bet/win I was hooked. I hate who gambling has made me, I used to be so sensible with over £8,000 worth of savings, I was so sensible. Now that is all gone plus some I feel sick to my stomach. I feel as though I have let my boyfriend and family down. I come from a very loving home and as far as I know, no one else in my family has any issues with gambling so I feel they will not understand. It breaks my heart to look into my savings and bank account to see it all gone to such an awful industry (my grandparents left me some money when they passed so the guilt is extra worse) I suppose it’s good that i am ready to stop before I have borrowed money or taken loans but I just cannot cope with what I have lost and feel that nobody close to me will understand fully. So a few questions for the members, how can I cope with what I have lost? Do I need to tell my loved ones and family and if so how? And how does gambling now make everyone else feel? As for me I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of gambling but somehow it’s all I want to do.
sorry for the long post
Hi
I hope you're doing OK,
I'm not too sure if it's too soon to reply to someone else as I have only just recently accepted and joined this world but I can reassure you that the last 3 days I have returned to my old self with the help of the people on here.
Regarding your final 3 questions and what I've learnt in the last 3 days is
1) the only way to cope with what has been lost is to accept its gone, I have days (including today) thinking how deep I am and the loss I've experienced, but then I switch my thoughts instantly to "I'm recovering, what I need to be thinking and how I am going to overcome this illness"
2) I personally believe you should tell loved ones (my opinion) I was hiding away for over a year and kept getting deeper and deeper and since I confessed 3 days ago and poured my heart out I have had nothing but support from my family and people within gamcare community. I believe my parents are still trying to get their heads around it and it's painful but I now feel a weight is off my shoulders and have nothing left to hide.
3) I always believed I was going to have a day where It all went right, I had so many bad runs surely 1 day it will even out, that day never come. Yes the sick feeling is now we've realised we are defeated, we are ill. Its what we do now that counts.
As previously stated it may not be my place to reply and if so I apologise, but me talking and socialising with all the kind people on here really benefits me and if for 1 second my experience or words can help then that's a double bonus.
Have a good day and stay strong
Dean
Hi there
Just to add to what Dean has said - you have an opportunity here that many on this forum (me included) didn't take. And that is the opportunity to come clean without being found out- it will make such a difference to show you've taken personal responsibility for your actions and want to change.
Yes those conversations will be difficult, but not as difficult as someone finding out and you having to explain yourself on the spot.
And I 100% agree with Dean about the losses- they are sadly gone. Focus on not losing any more, which actually means your bank account is winning without all those withdrawals - things start to look much brighter when money isn't flying out of your account and your balance remains static.
Start off by telling your partner- you don't have to tell everyone all at once and after you've had that initial conversation you will feel much better and more prepared to let others know.
I wish you well.
SJC
Hello,
Yes I have the same sort of experience, maybe a bit worse. I have lost around £15,000 this year through Gambling, online slots and live casino games. Yes I do sometimes think about the loss but I guess that's the price you pay for entertainment sort of thing.
My advise would be to try and always gamble within your means, keep gambling entertaining and stop when the fun stops.
You have to accept the money you have lost has gone and whatever you Do Not attempt to chase back those losses.
All the best
Hi guys,
thank you so much for your messages they have made me feel a bit better (especially the part about having the choice to say rather than being found out) I want to tel my family so much but I just don’t want this to be the kind of thing that hangs over me if that makes sense? Like I know I’ve done this to myself but I just don’t want people to associate all of the (albeit wrong) accusations that com with bing a gambling addict ? but I suppose I just need to admit to what I have done
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