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Hopefully my rock bottom  

 
packer86
(@packer86)

I pray to God I hit my rock bottom last night, I lost over £1,000 betting online casinos they are the devil too me in which my brain can't handle loding on them.

I always thought if I told someone about my gambling addiction it would help me and stop me. Unfortunately this is not the case. I am just extremely deceitful and haven't been putting in any effort to stop what so ever. The last 15 years I've continuously continued to let my family down well my mum and dad.

I am fortunate that I have no debts. I basically have nothing to show for my existence of 34 years but now is the time to try my dammed hardest and start owning my mistakes and get off these d**n casino websites 

 

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Posted : 28th March 2020 6:30 am
c43h
 c43h
(@c43h)

Well, you are not alone in your fight there is a full forum here with people with the same background and experiences so you will always be able to get some feedback. Most of what we do is on autopilot so when you get a trigger you could try and mentally distancing yourself. Instead of saying I need to play.  Try " I am consciously aware of the thought that I need to play"  followed by taking a deep breath. If you could do that by a mirror looking at yourself while you are saying that it would be better. The idea is to get you mindful to the present instead of impulsive and on autopilot.  Every time you get bored or get triggers try that and then try some breathing exercise because it gets you out of your bubble for a while and we all need that when we are not thinking straight. We need to change bad habits for better ones so you need to find an alternative hobby or exercise that you can jump on to when you don't want to gamble. 

All the best.

 

 

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Posted : 28th March 2020 11:31 am
c43h
 c43h
(@c43h)

Another piece of advice.

If you don't want advice to work it will not work. If you want advice to work it will work. Most things are about what you decide to do. So decide that you will get better and you will. We become what we think about.

 

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Posted : 28th March 2020 4:00 pm
Howard12
(@howard12)

Oh Packer, I can relate to you. I lost a little more than you early Friday morning on online slots, we feel your pain and I am 30. You are not alone, I have opened up to my parents (again!) and they are supporting me but understandably upset over what I have done. We must remember that when we gamble we not only upset ourselves but our loved ones too, I only know that too well.

Hope you find the support on here.

 

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Posted : 28th March 2020 6:47 pm
packer86
(@packer86)

Thanks for your kind words and I do appreciate your advice at this time. My biggest weakness at the moment is that I allow temptation to take over me do easily. In a mad way am grateful at the moment not to have money to gamble with. But at the end of the day I have to be truthful with myself and really put the effort in to turn my life around. I am fortunate that I haven't got debts etc etc but at the end of the day am still just a compulsive gambler whenever I get the chance to 

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Posted : 28th March 2020 6:51 pm
Howard12
(@howard12)

You see your better than me, I did have debts, but now just in debt with my parents. I will pay every penny back to them, I feel so awful what I have done. Find someone you trust and talk to them. That's what im doing with my parents now and going to write a journal everyday to see if I can find any triggers or patterns.

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Posted : 28th March 2020 6:58 pm
packer86
(@packer86)

I guess I just got lucky not getting into debt but in a strange way sometimes it makes me lose sight of really what I am. Better to be in debts with your parents and it'll be a big achievement when you do it. Hopefully that can be the beginning of the rest of your life!!

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Posted : 28th March 2020 8:02 pm
Howard12
(@howard12)

Thanks Packer! 🙂 Do keep me posted on your updates, would love to hear how your getting on. We sound likely we have been through similar experiences.

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Posted : 28th March 2020 8:31 pm
Hendo092
(@hendo092)

I know your struggling cause most of us on here are. If you need to speak with someone there is always people on here to help. There is a live chat service on here that really does help its 24/7 aswell so there’s always someone to help no matter the time of day. I spoke to someone earlier as I was getting tempted and they helped me through it. You can also sign up to a site called gamstop this blocks all uk gambling websites from you using them. All you have to do is sign up. You can now ask your bank to block gambling transactions so you can deposit. And if you want to lift the block you have to wait 24-48 hours. I have now done all this and it helps a lot when I’m really tempted.

 

i hope you find your way through this. Things will be better on the other side. 

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Posted : 28th March 2020 10:56 pm
silee70
(@silee70)

Hi, I echo what's been said on here about Gamstop. It has been an absolute god send for me.

Take care pal.

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Posted : 28th March 2020 11:30 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Hi

Yes a serious title because it most often takes a rock bottom to make addicts start to think about recovery.

Its so sad to say that I hope that rock bottom comes before the new lows that gamblers havent even experienced yet. Its a lethal addiction and just like you see people drinking themselves to death or rattling for class A, gambling works in the same way.

Its the least understood of all the major addictions because those that are supposed to protect us are amking big money from it in taxes. Its seen by many as the greedy getting their just deserts.

Its actually a drug addiction in the way it takes over the body. I just beeded to do it. I didnt even think of urges or desire...I just needed to do it again even after a week with no electricity on....yes that addicted. Imagine no electricity and using teh light of a street lamp to open a can of cold beans...they dont show you that on the adverts!!

I would have thought no food or utilities would have snapped me out of it. The addiction laughs at that however and I was a total J****E for something that was destroying me.

looking at the finances now I dont know how I managed to keep a roof over my head... I do though because I defrauded my parents and lived on a starvation diet for weeks at a time. I gambled knowing my parents would bail me for hundreds and the cycle would start again. I thought of crime so I am well aware of all the lows on the ride to pure hell.

Any recovering gambler can count themselves fortunate the earlier they realise its beyond their control without cold turkey and a network of help.

Its in your bones packer...please get help and tell someone close...You dont yet understand its devastating power and hold over you. You are not in control of your own mind and that should scare you. You will know when its rock bottom...I fear you are still trying to ride this like a grown man with an ego

Tell someone close...you need help...there is no shame in asking for help

It changes when you start doing the right things to prevent it. Your willpower alone is not enough without help

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This post was modified 2 months ago by Joydivider
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Posted : 29th March 2020 2:02 am
packer86
(@packer86)

Hi

Once again thank you so much for your support, understanding and kind words, sometimes you think at times the world is against because of the position we put ourselves in but really there is so many people out there.

I have put gamstop on my phone and I've blocked the gambling on my card with HSBC and just waiting to close my PayPal account too. 

I just need to next of what to do when the triggers set me off but hopefully at the moment gamstop and blocking my card is enough. 

It's just great knowing people are here to support and none judgemental

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Posted : 29th March 2020 6:19 am
Hendo092
(@hendo092)

None of us are going to judge you packer we’re all here for the same reason we’re either gamblers. Or it’s someone that’s been effected by gambling. We all have our own struggles but we use this as help and support for each other. That’s the great thing about this site we all are in this together. None of us are on our own. 

keep your chin up we can all get a better life’s for ourself as long as we stick together. 

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Posted : 29th March 2020 6:55 am
packer86
(@packer86)

That is so true hendo, at the end of the day everyday I wake up my aim for the day shall be not to gamble but it's a big thing to know that I'm not alone and so many great people are willing to help me!!

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Posted : 29th March 2020 6:36 pm
Hendo092
(@hendo092)

Yes. We are all here if you ever need us. Try getting in the chat rooms when there available as well if you can. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to you can just read the people supporting each other. 

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Posted : 30th March 2020 10:06 am
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