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Brittone05
(@brittone05)

hi 

my husband has just found out that I have relapsed back to compulsive and obsessive spending but I don’t know how to tell him I have gambled again. I got a grip of it all for a short while but after a personal time of emotional trauma have fallen back to it far too easily. I have lied about our income, lied about bills and am so consumed with just wanting to gamble. I don’t know what to do. 

 

He recently went through my mobile after becoming suspicious and saw my messages borrowing money from friend and ya removed our bank card from me and, at this point, wont  let me go out by myself because he can’t trust me. I have another bank account he isn’t aware of and am terrified that when it all comes out he will kick me out and take our kids. 

I really need help because I am in such a low, dark place right now and I don’t know what to do 🙁 

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Posted : 14th April 2019 10:17 am
AlyP
 AlyP
(@alyp)

I really know where your coming from,  I confessed to my husband last year and with the help of pshycotherapist managed to stay "clean" for 6 months.  I have hoever had to replapses, one at Christmas and one on the last two weeks which he does not know about.  Im promising myself to stop again, and will tell my therapist that Ive gambled again.  Use blocking software on all your home devices, get your husband to put in a PIN code into your mobile to stop you accessing certain sites, like you do with children.  Please see professional help.  Gambling, like other addictions is caused by underlying emotional trauma.   I have been taking antidepressents with good effect, however I have been under some stress recently and slipped back into gambling as a way of "numbing" and distracting and again.  To be honest the short thrill of the win which last seconds is soon replaced by the feeling of worthlessness when you add up your losses.    Seek as much help as you can get, being honest is much better than being devious.  Good luck, its a journey not a quick fix.  

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Posted : 14th April 2019 11:11 am
Brittone05
(@brittone05)

Thank you @alyp 

last year I faced my childhood abuser in court which has sent me into a downhill spiral worse than before. I have spent my life being a compulsive and super obsessive person, flying from one addiction to the other but gambling quickly became the constant which I totally lost control of and lost myself in the process. 

I truly feel more numb and broken than ever before at the moment x

ReplyQuote
Posted : 14th April 2019 11:15 am
AlyP
 AlyP
(@alyp)

@brittone05

I have great sympathy for you,  people on the outside see gambling and other addicitons as selfish acts and are unaware of its roots.  Most of us on this forum would love to stop and be free of this.  Please go to your GP and ask for therapy/counselling.   It sounds like you have an underlying anxiety and depression.  Gambling releases endorphins which make you feel better temporarily, then you come crashing down again.  You need help to stabilise your mood.   No one can judge this until they find themselves in same situation, from what I see online gambling is becoming such a problem we are definately not alone and more and more people are turning to it for a quick feel good fix.  Like illegal drugs, and other stimulants it really does not help, it makes you feel worse.    You will be free of this one day, you may have replapses, but just start every day afresh and take it in small steps.  

ReplyQuote
Posted : 14th April 2019 11:23 am
Stopping123
(@stopping123)

Hi,

just stay strong and not gamble, it’s a horrible addiction. I used to hate hiding it from my partner, felt so guilty and we are better people then this addiction. Think about what you can do with that money and how much you can spoil your family with it! It’ll be hard at the start but I’m nearly 6 months in and can say I’m getting to a better place, have seen a therapist recently and would recommend taking multivitamins just to give you an energy boost, plan something fun with your family too or spoil yourself cause you deserve it! That’ll keep your mind off it and in no time you will start getting in to a positive place where you don’t need to gamble to give you that good fix to make you happy. Write down some things that you like about yourself and things you want to get done. This has helped me to get through the addiction and put my mind to things I need to get done. Be strong!

ReplyQuote
Posted : 14th April 2019 6:23 pm
Brittone05
(@brittone05)

@Stopping123 thank you and well done on almost hitting 6 months xxx

ReplyQuote
Posted : 14th April 2019 8:44 pm
Xxformexx
(@xxformexx)

Hi Brittone, maybe as suggested above see if you could have some counselling.

i know exactly where you are coming from, I have relapsed a few times.  My husband is so supportive again, although I'm so ashamed I've let him down again.  However, he tells me not to dwell, what's done is done but this really is my last chance.  So I've done it properly this time done the 5yr gamstop in place.  So far I am 24 day gf and I feel amazing!  I know I have a long way to go but it really is a better way to live.

Just take one day at a time, as I am doing, good luck on your journey x

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Posted : 15th April 2019 9:12 am
Merry go round
(@merry-go-round)

Hi brittone as suggested get your blocks in place. Hand over finances if you can. Gamcare offer free counselling, call and talk to someone. Also if you want ongoing free support find a GA meeting. 

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Posted : 15th April 2019 3:19 pm
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