Hi, I'm new to these forums but unfortunately not new to gambling.
It's been an issue for about 5 years but it's always the online casino (mainly blackjack) that I'm most addicted to because I always viewed it as a way to make quick money. I've always done football accumulators on weekends but won't put anymore than £10 on and I never chase the losses back on those, it's only the online casino.
I've never really stopped gambling but I've gone through phases of blowing big amounts in no time. I bought my own home about 3 years ago and I was managing fine but I struggled during the start of the first lockdown and ended up taking a bank loan out which I blew and will be paying back for another 4 years. The increased outgoings has made me gamble more because the monthly income doesn't leave me with much left over and all I can think about is trying to get back to the position that I used to be in.
Today is about as tough as its been as I've now gotten to the point where I have nothing (less than nothing because I'm in my overdraft) and still have outgoings before payday.
I live on my own and working from home just made it easier to access the websites as it was something to do to cure boredom and it's really impacting my mental health. My parents were aware of my situation but I haven't told them about my recent gambling because I feel like it will be one time too many and they have bailed me out enough before.
I'm just not sure what to do for the best. I turn 30 in a couple of months and as much as I'd like to have a fresh start and a clean slate when I turn 30, I realise that this has to start today.
Not done this sort of thing before but just thought it might help writing everything down.
Welcome to the forum and well done for reaching out to others here. I hope it has helped you to write this all down. Writing can often be very therapeutic.
You mention in your post that you have nothing left until pay day. I would urge you to call our advisers and they can talk this through with you. They will be able to offer support and advice on your situation so that you have a plan going forward. Including some one to one support. You can reach them on our helpline (0808 8020 133) or through our live chat option. You can speak to them 24 hours a day.
In the mean time, you don't say if you have been able to pay for essentials but you may want to look at the Trussel trust if you need food to see you through. You said this is impacting your mental health. I hear that you are concerned about talking to your family but often it can be a weight of people's shoulders having the emotional support from loved ones. You could also speak to your GP for support and there are some great emotional support services available such as Anxiety UK and Supportline.
You do not need to go through this alone J and you have made a brilliant step by posting here today. I am sure you will get some great support and advice from other members.
For now, keep posting and take care.
Blackjack was my main game of choice to, Online and land based Casino'.
Awaiting the Perfect pairs/trips/Straight flush'. started with poker i guess/interest in cards.
A simple game were there are choices involved were you believe that you can see the future predict whats going to happen after a while, once you start to lose reality and only remember the times you guessed right,
and a belief that your own skill has something to do with the outcome, i've invested thousands of hrs
on these tables as i'm sure you have, and the swings between winnings and loses can be vast within any given session, and the excitement/brain highs can be very very addictive.... not being able to stop...
and also makes you think if you adjust your strategy you can walk away....possibly with winnings, this is not the case as we know... we cant walk away... maybe occasionally but ultimately lose all...
and thinking the more you play the more you will be able to control yourself learn more become more disciplined, this is also false.... its just an excuse to obtain that high/rush excitement...
Glad you've recognised the problem and want to deal with it... not through further gambling....
As you know deep down....You must give yourself space man, to be grounded sort head out/escape the hamster wheel, put blocks in place however much your brain screams at you not to..... it will be hard for a few weeks, for sure, go for walks clear head exercise ... de-stress. keep normal sleeping hrs.
gradually bring back in hobbies etc you love and obtain council/tools, to deal with this addiction,
to really understand yourself better... for your amazing gamble free future....
protect against relapses ... damage limitations... we all generally fail at the start so be wary of this we are only human and is a big change from very damaging habits... so be kind and just adjust put more blocks in place to cover the routes you've used to gamble..... you'll get there...
be strong brother you are a power house and you will prevail.
all the best
Well done for posting and putting it out there.
I totally hear you, my downfall is roulette. I grudge more than £2.50 EW on a horse but will gamble over £100 in one spin on the roulette wheel and not bat an eyelid. Then you chase it when you lose. It’s a viscous circle.
If I can nip it in the bud just now then I’ll have my debt paid off by time I’m 40. And no gonna lie that’s a scary thought, I guess you just need to take it a day at a time. Put the blocks in place and just get through it day by day.
We can all do this, it’s not going to beat us. Stay strong and reach out if you feel the urge again.
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