Hi, I need help!!

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(@alana85)
Posts: 4
Topic starter
 

Hi, my name is Alana and I have a gambling addiction. I’ve suffered with this for a good few years, as a result of this I suffer with depression and anxiety. I’ve joined this group as I need help and this is a massive step for me to do and I also feel like I am now ready to admit to not only myself but to family and friends that I have an addiction. I have a really long story and don’t really know where to start. I really need help as I’m really struggling to see past this and I fear for my life and the life I could potentially end up ruining my children’s. thanks for reading:

 
Posted : 14th January 2021 9:00 pm
 Loux
(@loux)
Posts: 848
 

Hi Alana, 

Maybe start by telling us how do you gamble online ?

If you gamble online my advice would be to get self exclusion in place as soon as you can this is easy to do go to the website gamstop and take a look. Blocks are important to helping you resist the urge. It may seem daunting but it really is a helpful tool to starting your recovery.

There is a lot of advice help and support your not alone.

Lou x 

 
Posted : 14th January 2021 10:35 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 5975
Admin
 

Hello Alana

                    I am pleased to see that you have found your way onto the Gamcare Forum. It takes great courage to reach out and ask for help with a gambling problem, you are being brave. It is sad to hear that you are suffering with depression with this and I hope you are seeking help and support with this as well. I and others would very much like to hear your story, regardless how long it is, so please post it upon here. I am sure people will be able to identify with the similarities they have with their own experiences gambling.

I can hear that you are in a challenging place in your life now and would like to extend our offer of help and support through this time.  We are here 24/7 on the end of the phone or help line to be able to listen and give you the best guidance to move forward from here. We have a wide range of options we can look at they may be helpful for you.

Please call us on tel:08088020133

Wishing you all the best

Darren

Forum Admin

 
Posted : 14th January 2021 10:47 pm
(@alana85)
Posts: 4
Topic starter
 

I gamble online and have blocked myself from all online sites and have put a block on my bank card so I can’t use it for gambling. I’m really ashamed of myself for what I’ve done and how I’ve let this affect my mental health. I’m having to take anti depressants and have been for the last 2 years. I’ve thought about suicide multiple times but have not gone through with this due to me wanting to try and kick this habit but it hasn’t helped or stopped me from doing it. I just need to face my addiction and take accountability for my actions and this is why I decided to join this group. 

 
Posted : 15th January 2021 12:43 pm
 Loux
(@loux)
Posts: 848
 

Well done for putting all the blocks into place and for joining here. Sorry to hear about your struggles i also have depression..

I hope your blocks and joining here helps, theres lots of different options that suit people 

 i did the ccbt course gamchange its through gamcare online modules to work through then talk it through with someone this helped me as well as other support.

Have you managed to talk to anyone else about your problem and how its affecting you at all ?

Lou xx

 

 
Posted : 16th January 2021 12:50 am
(@alana85)
Posts: 4
Topic starter
 

No I can’t seem to find the right words or how to even approach my friends and family about it.  I don’t know if it’s the shame I feel or is it because I’ve shamed them. I know I need to be open and honest about it as it’s really taken a toll these last few days. I haven’t stolen off family or friends for my addiction but have from my work and now I’m under investigation. I absolutely broken that I’ve done this and at the time I didn’t think of the repricutions of my actions.  I’m am really worried of the out come of this all and knowing I could end up loosing my children if I was to go to jail. I don’t think I could ever survive. I am at my all time low and these last few days I have sat and had a long hard look back at how I’ve hurt myself, family and friends. I just don’t know anymore what to think or feel. 

 
Posted : 16th January 2021 3:45 pm
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)
Posts: 887
 

@alana85 I would put it down to fear. Fear for what they think of you, fear for what will happen and fear for what happens next. 

It isn't easy but you'll have to explain to them at some point, otherwise how do you start explaining work, presuming you're suspended.

I've been through what you're going through and out the other side.

I cannot promise that it will be okay short term but it can be long term. I too knew what I was doing was wrong but the addiction is/was too strong. 

My advice, through my experience, is to be honest. Honest with everyone over everything. See if you can find a GA room and look at Gambler's anonymous. The reason for this over other types of treatment that is also available is that there are others like you in the room who will have gone through the same thing. As good as cbt and the other available help is, I would say at the moment you need to be able to identfy with someone. You are going to be going through a long process depending upon what you actually did and you wil need support. This will also help you if it goes to court, but obviously more importantly, it will help you put the gambling down and get a bit of clarity in your life.

Please feel free to ask any questions you may have.

Chris.

 
Posted : 16th January 2021 5:17 pm
 Loux
(@loux)
Posts: 848
 

Sorry to hear that Alana, if you havent already i also recommend contacting the gamcare helpline as they can refer you for further support as well and give great advice 1-1 chat with an advisor could be beneficial

There is also a group chat room at 8pm on here why dont you join its a supportive place and you can share as little or as much as you like and hear others experiences and advice

Have you got any form of legal or union support for the work situation ?

Lou

 
Posted : 16th January 2021 5:30 pm
(@alana85)
Posts: 4
Topic starter
 

I have tried my local GA support group but just keeps ringing out. I’m ringing the doctors on Monday to see if there is any help I can get from there side. I am scared but more scared of what I’ve become. I am suspended and I do think I will have to go to court and I’m really trying but I can’t even pick up the phone to talk about this. I find it easier to write about my feelings then to talk about them. I’m in a state as I write this as I’ve know that I’ve made the step to admit I have an addiction. I don’t have the urge to gamble as I don’t have a penny to my name and I don’t want to borrow anything of family as I know then if that money is on my bank I won’t buy food I’ll buy my addiction. Just want this over with so I can start a fresh and deal with it one day at a time and then rebuild my mental health.

 
Posted : 16th January 2021 5:39 pm
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)
Posts: 887
 

@alana85 Okay, see if there is another Ga meeting local to you. It's a difficult time at the moment because so many of the meetings are closed but you might be able to meet up with a member(socially distanced of course) who might be able to help a little. If you are really stuck you can Zoom me with contact details passed through the admin.

Deep breath though, it won't be over quickly. Even if you have told the police everthing it will take a few months to get to court and then it goes from magistrate to crown. One guy at my group was waiting a year. I waited three months for my quickest time.

It can get better though. You can get the addiction put away and get a clear head. It will take time but it can get better. Despite how you feel today/now, it will be okay. If you need to maybe give the Gamcare advisers a call for a chat. Just being able to share it with someone takes away some of the pressure. 

Again, I suggest talking to a family member for support.

Chris.

 
Posted : 16th January 2021 8:36 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 5975
Admin
 

Good evening Alana,

I'm really sorry to hear what you are going through and do understand how difficult it can be to sometimes picj up that phone and talk. I'm not sure if you've had any extra support from us at the moment but we do provide a NetLine service where you can talk to us one to one via text, rather than feeling you need to talk.

We would be able to look at your situation and see what extra support may benefit you, sometimes even being able to chat can help. 

If this is something you'd find beneficial, please do click on this link to chat NetLine

Kind regards

ChrisK

Forum Admin

 
Posted : 16th January 2021 10:30 pm

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