I’d like to say hello to everyone. I have read lots of posts but never posted. I have been trying to give up online gambling for several years and have gone periods without gambling but have recently started again after my Mum died. I stopped 6 weeks ago and was feeling really good but then last night after drinking I gambled again. Feeling really down today and upset that I’ve let myself and my family down again.
I know what I have to do and I’ve been toying with giving up alcohol for a while now, as this is a trigger for me. Now is the time to finally do it permanently.
The last 6 weeks without gambling or alcohol have been great, I’ve got back into running, lost weight and had money to buy nice treats. Today after gambling and drinking, I feel sick, down, tired and now have little money until payday. I need to keep reminding myself of these feelings when I have the urge to gamble.
Thanks for joining and posting on the forum. I am also quite new here but like most people here, can relate to your situation.
The mindset that is helping me at the moment is, if we keep betting, and chasing losses, we will never win. Because when we win, we spend it all again to try and win more, that's because we cannot stop, and when we are 'in the zone', betting is fun, I personally loved it (when I was winning), that thrill and excitement, but that sinking horrible feeling after you lose, never goes away, because you will always lose in the end. Even if you walk away with your winnings, you will take it back the next day and try again.
My bank account is quite low right now, but I have paid my bills this month and content in the knowledge that after payday, I will have an excess again. I know that it is not going to get worse when I am not betting. I know that I am not going to get further in debt when I do not bet. If I start to recoup and save, it will come back. But not if we keep betting, not if we keep chasing losses, it will only go down and down. The best advice I read on this forum was, forget about what you have lost. It is sad and horrible, but you will never get it back, and you will only make your situation worse by trying to get even a single cent of it back. Focus on the future, not on the past and what you have lost. Cut your losses, and start working on improving your situation from now.
The experience after walking away having lost all of your money is horrible. Wondering how you will pay your next bills and where you will get some money from to cover what you just lost. You have to stop now! - I have only been GF for 9 days, so I am not in any position to advise you, but my mindset has changed completely, and I don't want to give anymore of my hard earned money to these casinos, bookmakers, lotteries etc, that have millions and profit from all of us suffering. Change your mindset, stop betting. What helped me was to also read through some stories on this forum. Seeing how many people have lost more than you, and they started in the same position as you. That will be you too, unless you stop now. Let's stop together, and stop giving these people our money! - You may have 'let down your family' as you put it, like all of us here probably have (if you told them I don't know)- but either way, the only way to put it right, is to stop spending money on gambling and to work out a plan for your finances for the future.
I wish you the best, and feel free to message if you ever want to chat on here. I try and log in once every few days to see if someone new has posted, and to update my own story when necessary - You should do the same, it helps to get things of your mind, and put things back into perspective again 🙂 - Good luck, you can do this!
Thanks for replying. It sounds like you are in a positive mindset and doing well, well done. Thanks for the advice, I am determined to give up this time, hence engaging with this website and I have asked to do the online course.
I have always been so ashamed of my gambling and even typing this I’m in tears thinking about it. The only people that know are my Dad and Sister, although I can’t tell them about my recent mishap. I worry so much about people finding out as there is such a stigma attached to addiction, so many people just can’t understand it and I don’t want it to affect how my colleagues at work see me.
It’s good to come on here and read other people’s stories and understand I am not alone. Financially I’m fine, although I have some debt to clear, but I can do that by Christmas if I stick to not gambling. I have to accept I’ve wasted a lot of money, it’s hard because my family have always been so careful with money. But if I accept it’s my money I’ve wasted and not theirs, so only hurting myself financially, then maybe I can move on.
I have spent the day tightening up my online controls so that I cannot access any sites. I will now go for a run as I always feel better mentally after one.
Thanks again for reaching out, have a good week.
Totally understand your points Clarice. Telling people is a personal choice. I personally didn't, because I feel like I can control the situation now, but I know many people on here, from their stories, have found comfort and relief in telling someone.
The fact that you can repay all of your gambling debt within 3 months is really not as bad as you think. Of course it is money you will not get back, but just think, if you keep betting, it may then take you several more months to pay it back, every time you do it.
I wish you the best of luck in sticking to it, and not giving in to gambling again. Keep us updated on here any time you want/need to 🙂