My name is Greg and I am addicted to gambling. Yesterday, on my mom’s 82nd birthday, I began my latest (and I’m determined to make final) attempt to stop gambling. Gambling has cost me almost everything worthwhile in my life. My wife, 1/2 of my time with my children and dog, my beautiful home…but most importantly my self-respect and what little self-love there was to begin with.
I am here because I have too much social anxiety (which only gets worse when I am feeling guilty and shameful) to do this in person. My hope is to connect with people and help at least one of you to never gamble again in your life! I never gambled a day in my life before the age of 40. Im 53 now. What should have been the 15 most productive years in my life have turned to mush and are in the past.
I appreciate and support all of you!
thank you for listening,
Greg
Hello Greg,
Welcome to the GamCare forum and thanks for making your first post. You sound determined to leave gambling in your past.
Depending on the type of gambling you've had problems with, there may be practical steps you can take to prevent yourself being able to gamble. There may also be local ongoing support to help you make long-term changes to your mindset around gambling. Not sure if you are in Great Britain or not - if you are, you are welcome to contact our helpline - number and livechat details are at the top of the page. If you're overseas then Gambling Therapy is a great source of support and local resources. https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/
Now that you've introduced yourself do come back and update us. Feel free to start a diary in the Recovery Diaries section of the forum.
Keep posting,
Deirdre
Forum Admin
Hi Greg
I find it tough to talk outside of the forum about gambling as i feel guilty and ashamed. I started gambling at 24 years old and im now 40 , i've stopped succesfully for the longest period 6 months, i am now quiting for good and on day 33 . For me , like you have hinted at , its embarrasing and well, wasting money on stupid slots and anything else tempting is pointless as you waste hours(years) of your life.
How are you getting on ? i've found just keep myself busy keep my finances in check and well the future has alot more to offer.
Hi Greg,
I relate to your thoughts that's for sure. I am over 50 and have been an addicted gambler for about 25 years. Like you say, having an addiction robs you of your self-esteem, as feelings of shame and guilt grow exponentially as we repeat the same mistakes over and over and for what??... a quick adrenaline rush as we chase the next win, which ultimately doesn't come.
Remember that whatever it is you gamble on, it is designed to be addictive and once addicted it is very hard not to get drawn back in. That is why we need practical barriers to stop us acting on our impulses. I find that over time the urge to gamble does get less but never goes away completely. But what i also find is that the longer I don't gamble the better I start to feel about myself and yes i have a few more quid in my pocket to.
keep reading and writing. Am a bit socially awkward to, writing is good therapy.
Regards, S.A
Thanks for your reply. It’s always one day at a time. I was betting on the NBA playoffs until 5 days ago. On day 5. I was doing really well…turning xx into xx in two days. This last time I reminded myself that those highs are there. They aren’t going anywhere. The trap is…so are the lows. And finally I think I want (and it feels better to me) to avoid the lows and I am finding the highs in other ways. I know the gambling highs are so fleeting. Exercise reading etc. are money in the bank to me. I am actually still watching the games. I have always loved basketball. It is so much more enjoyable when I ‘m not counting points and looking at stats the whole time. I even found myself neglecting one of my best friends a few games ago when he cam over to watch. Unacceptable. I am better than that!
thanks SA. Yep, it’s a sham. There are too many other awesome ways to release those endorphins/dopamine. I think I read that gambling actually drains those at an unnatural rate…which leads us going back just like any other drug. You develop a tolerance and need more to get the job done. Yes…I am getting to the point where being excited about making it another day feels almost as good as a win. Like you said…the urge will never go away…. As a result, it is my hope that I always stay on-guard!
my best to you. I believe in you!
Hey There,
I wanted to check in with you and thank you for reaching out. I have had to be honest with myself in saying that this is (FINALLY) the first time that I have really, truly WANTED to quit. I am getting along better than I ever have in this effort. I keep telling myself that any casino game or slot machine is like having a friend ask me to bet on a game and give me a ridiculous point-spread or whatever. I would laugh in his face and say “YAH RIGHT! NO WAY!” How are you coming along in your fight? I was reminded on here that it is an addiction and the urges will return. I am just at better equipped to handle them this time around, though.
Take care,
Greg
@gdiddycourogen I’m going good day 48 now I’ve not really had any urges over the past weeks. I guess I’m just keeping myself really busy and coming on here often helps. We do need to keep our guards up and never go back.
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