Hello, my name is Richard and I am a compulsive gambler. A little bit about me. I am 40 and until recently I was happily married had a lovely house which I shared with my wife and 3 children. Unfortunately I have lost everything through my addiction to gambling. It started around 18 months ago playing online slots. At first it was just for fun, it would be £5 here £10 there. Soon spiralled out of control and am now thousands and thousands in debt because of this. I now live in a bedsit which I can barely afford, lost my wife who is filing for divorce and pretty much the life I had does not exist anymore. I have felt suicidal and extremely depressed with absolutely no hope for my future. I realise that I cannot carry on like this hence why I am here to try and get the help and support I so desperately need.
Welcome to the Forum and thank you for sharing what has been going on for you. It sounds like you have been through a lot over the past few months.
I am so sorry to hear about the breakdown of your marriage I appreciate that is incredibly painful.
I am also really sorry to hear you have felt suicidal at times and that you feel there is no hope for your future. I appreciate you are feeling really raw at the moment especially if you have lost so much.
Please know you are doing the right thing with reaching out for help. You are not alone, help is here, and you will be able to rebuild your life again. It just will take some time and effort so please keep faith.
You can contact us any time for 1-2-1 support, the service is available 24/7, here: https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/
Please keep posting and sharing and also make use of our communal Chatrooms.
Wishing you all the very best,
Hi richcoventry . This addiction is terrible and as you now know grips you in such a terrible way that you lose all self control and your self esteem is shattered. But please do not give up hope I know that you may think that's a daft thing to say as you have lost everything. But it's hope that brought you to this site as even though you have hit rock bottom don't give up hope that you can change things around. It's going to be a different you but when you get to the point that you are more stable you can look at what you want for your future. Have you got help from your gp for the depression of you haven't do so there is no shame admitting how you feel. Speak to Gamcare advisors they are brilliant and absolutely non judgemental there is also the live chat if your still not ready to talk. They can refer you for counselling and give you lots of advice. Next to installing blocks so I cannot access online sites I have found using this forum invaluable for support advice and friendship from people like myself. Also you will get replies from people who swear by GA I haven't accessed that yet but purely because they had to stop physical meetings. As soon as they are running I will be going as I need that face to face contact. I'm 38days today gamble free after big loses over last 4years but worse last 1-2years gambling daily online for hours and hours. I'm feeling stronger and more stable than I have in years and I really hope that this is not only the start of your gamble free life but that you can get some stability and happiness back. Don't give up hope for a better future but access help now . With best wishes
Update. I have the most amazing support with my dad and sister. over the past week or so they have helped me try and sort out my debts and come up with an action plan to move forward. I have so much hard work to do to make me debt free but there is a very small light at the end of the tunnel. Trying to deal with one issue at a time and not worry about the things i cannot control. Gambling has ruined my life but i am not going to let it define my life and future, there are many things that i can control and gambling WILL be one of them. Gambling is one of the most horrendous addictions, it takes over your whole life with very little care about how it affects other people. I have been over two weeks gamble free now and have set short term targets to ensure that it stays this way. Trying so hard to stay positive.
I just wanted to check in and see how you were getting on?
It sounds like you have lots of support around you which is really great to hear. We are always here to listen if you ever need to talk to someone on the netline or on our helpline - and we offer free treatment and other types of support to help you through this.
Wishing you all the very best