hi everyone, i'm a little nervous because i've never done anything like this before, gambling has taken over my life for over 20 years now,it consumes me it eats away at me it controls me,i've hurt so many people over the years who care about me because of my gambling and its destroyed my life but i still need to get that buzz from trying to win that bet on a russian 3rd division football match on two teams i've never heard of,it's exhausting and completely drains me but still i come back for more chasing the next win,my dad died recently from covid and i was his carer,my mental health has suffered over the years because of my gambling but i tried to hide it and just wanted to concentrate on my dad,now he has gone my mental health has got worse which has a knock on effect on my gambling,i'm living with my brother now and his family,i've lost so much money i'm now penniless living on my brother's sofa with nowhere to go,how has it got to this;but in reality this is what gambling does to you,it destroys you,i'm taking my first tentative steps to try to recover from this and i know it won't be easy but i have to do this and by just talking about it i know it is helping me because i know you all understand what this is like and i can see there are people who are far worse off than me,good luck to all of you fighting this with me,i will hopefully see you on the other side of this,will let you know how i'm getting on,take care.
Hello johnb1967
Welcome to the Forum; I sincerely do hope that you find the Forum a source of strength where you can connect with other 'like minded people'. Problem gambling is cunning, powerful and baffling and without help it is too much. Many people find it very useful to get advice and support for how to deal with the impact of gambling harm and I hope you can to.
We have Advisers available 24/7 to help you through the early stages of Recovery. You can contact them by calling our Helpline on 08008020133 or by using our LiveChat option. I encourage you to contact us so we can discuss the best way forward, free from gambling.
Please know that you do not have to do this alone johnb, we are all here to support you. I do hope that you get in touch, you have suffered enough and need to believe that you can get through this - one day at a time.
Best
Amanda
Forum Admin
Respect that you are showing up here alone and so far down the line as you have come. Welcome. I assure you you are not alone. There are many people doing the very same as you and a few of them are here. Gambling is of course a love affair that will not let go so easily if you don't take certain steps to move away from it. You seem to be ready,. What everyday life will show you is the struggles you may face when going down a new road to recovery.
My words of strength will be this. Most people get out of this addiction by themselves through sheer grit and willpower. You are not in a permanent state. Own your decisions now. Be mindful and decide to own what you do. Decide to get well and you will. It is our unwillingness to decide or think that sets us adrift. And yes the only captain of your ship is you. This place is a great start. You can talk to others that will help you see things differently so use this tool and get better. We change all the time. There is therefore no earthly reason why you can't change to.
Best
C
Johnb,
I don;t know how old you are but i'm 51 and have gambled for 30 years on and off and have lost hundreds of thousands of pounds, my wife, family, everything. I am trying to be gamble free to hopefully enjoy the rest of my days and regain some of my dignity. I plead with you to give up as to continue isn't a nice place, believe me. Imagine this, you may not be able to retire, you may not be able to have a roof over your head and potentially be homeless, mentally you will be in a terrible state and this is if you don't choose to end it all. Believe me you are better off without gambling and will become a better, wealthier person over time. You may not see it initially and it will be hard but everyday you will be a better person.
Good luck
Thank you C and Bumblebee for your kind words of support, I'm taking it one day at a time and I know it won't be easy but I can't mess this up, I seem to spend my life letting people down and I don't want to do that anymore and just to say I'm 53 so going through this similar journey with many of you, good luck to everyone.
Hi john hows it going? Respect to you for opening up and telling your story, we've all been there. Dont do it man, ( I know thats a lot harder said than done) but gambling really isnt worth all the heartache it brings in life both to yourself and your loved ones. I know what its like betting on all the random leagues off the world. I remember it getting as stupid as betting on the korean reserve league and honestly couldnt tell you a who a single player was in any off the teams lol. You never win at football betting whatever way you look at it. What chance do you have realistically when a 1/3 you take in your bet gets beat 2-1 at home?
You said about enjoying that buzz when you win a bet or gamble but have you ever thought about how that buzz doesnt even really exist? I mean you never felt the need for that buzz before you gambled so is it even there? What im trying to say here is you're gambling just to feel the exact same as how a non gambler feels naturally. That sounds stupid but when you think about it, its true. Thats addiction for you but you can overcome it you're able to rewire you're brain. My best advice here would be to download Allen Carr easy way to stop gambling. From reading that book it certainly helped to undo all the brainwashing that gambling has done to me and i feel that i can look at the whole thing from a new perspective. You can definitely give up gambling if you really want to. If you can train your mind into truely believing that nothing good comes from gambling and are able to see that when you have a gambling addiction you can never come out on top at gambling then you will be able to succeed at quitting.
Without getting to much into it for me i honestly was only able to stop when the penny finally dropped even tho there was many failed attempts before it. Start to look at things for what they really are and you'll do well
Im 27 now and was gambling from the age off 11 playing fruit machines (madness) and by the age off 13 i had developed a gambling addiction. Carried on doing it for 15 years off my life and came out the other end off it with nothing at all to show for it. I dont even want to know how much ive spent on gambling over the past 15 years. Long story short try and figure out how to rewire your brain and see the gambling industry and gambling addiction for what they really are. Reading that book really helped me and would highly recommend yourself doing the same. You can download it in the app store on your mobile.
If i can do you then you can too. All the best and good luck mate!
Thanks for the advice and recommendation craigers1994, you're right in everything you say, it's up to me now to turn my life around and good luck to you moving forward with your life.
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