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First relapse after 2 years!  

 
BenjyT96
(@benjyt96)

Hi all. First day on GamCare. 

Today was my first(and last!) relapse with my previous Gambling addiction. 2 years ago I lost 12k of my own savings on purely football bets. After losing that 12k of my own hard event money I was in 20k debt with payday loans and still paying to this day.

Coronavirus and being on furlough from work has had a massive downfall on me. Staying home, not able to see my girlfriend, bored and trying to pass the time. I managed to have 6k funds to pay off the remaining 4K left of my debt. Unfortunately wasn’t able to pay the debt off fully due to knowing if I was going to have a job or not after this pandemic!

Today, I relapsed after 2 years. Boredom won, and wanted to make some extra funds to make up my loss of wages.

I resorted to casino this time. BIG mistake. Started off with a loss and ended with a loss overall. I was so broken, that I’ve let the past get back to me, I’m feeling very low, anxious and depressed and that I’ve let everybody down. I’ve cried to my family and it’s broken them. And that’s what I can’t live with, hurting my family for the 2nd time plus the loss.

I’m glad I’m not in debt again and I still have usable funds, but I’m feeling so sorry for myself and I don’t know what to do. I’ve signed up to GamCare so that’s the gambling out the way, it’s just the reality of losing that amount and dealing and living with this pain.

Thank you for reading my story. 
All the best - Ben

This topic was modified 1 month ago by Forum admin
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Posted : 3rd July 2020 11:34 pm
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

Hi Ben,

thank you for sharing and I'm sorry to hear it.

What did you have in place for the previous two years that helped?

The lockdown has been hard on a lot of people so don't beat yourself up, just take the lesson and move on. You did it before and you'll be able to do it again.

Chris.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 4th July 2020 10:46 am
BenjyT96
(@benjyt96)

Hi Chris.

thanks for taking the time to read! 

I think previously i got to a stage where my debt was unmanageable when I was earning very little. My payslip every month would not cover the amount of debt coming out every month.

i didn’t know about Gamstop that time around but since the relapse Gamstop is in place now. And I’m on day 2 of recovery - again!

all the best

Ben

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th July 2020 10:45 am
Charlieboy
(@charlieboy)

Well done Ben gamstop has been an absolute gamechanger for me.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th July 2020 12:27 pm
BenjyT96
(@benjyt96)

Thanks Charlie, appreciate it. We can do this 💪🏻

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th July 2020 12:45 pm
Muststop123
(@muststop123)

Hi BenjyT96

I am really sorry to hear about your relapse. 2 years is a great achievement but obviously you wanted it to be a forever thing not 2 years. 

I hope you find Gamstop a good additional tool. I have found it very good as it has stopped any online gambling for me which is where I had my problem.

The reason I really wanted to reply to you was to thank you for taking the time to illustrate to us all that we are not ever really safe from this addiction even after a significant amount of time such as yours. It is certainly a good reminder to me that I can't ever relax my blocks and need to accept this is a lifelong issue that needs to be managed.

Thanks and take care 

Muststop123

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th July 2020 10:55 am
BenjyT96
(@benjyt96)

Hi Muststop123

Thank you for taking the time to read!

Yes ofcourse I wanted it to be forever thing. It’s just a slight reminder to myself, that I’m never going to win and the debt accumulated shows that. 

Well done on your own achievement, and wish you every success in beating this horrible addiction.

All the best - Ben

ReplyQuote
Posted : 6th July 2020 11:07 am
All usernames taken
(@all-usernames-taken)

Hi Ben,

I can relate to your story and its to my first day on here. 

Didn’t have any intention of commenting on any posts buts yours struck me for some reason. 

I think the part around crying to family and that being the real loss. Money comes and goes but there is only so many 2nd chances you can get.

Well done for coming on here today and getting your feelings out. Regarding the loss as you say you are not in any further debt so try and take that as a positive as small as it may be.  That money is gone now, don’t try and chase it as thats the stupid mistake i have made on many occasions.

i hope your relationship with your family is not beyond repair.

take care 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 17th July 2020 3:54 pm
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