First Post

Hello Shankly and welcome to the forum :))

I'm not sure if you've not had any reply's yet because the sites just been upgraded or because like myself I'm not quite sure what it is you want to do ? .

I don't mean that disrespectfully because obviously from reading your post you do have a problem and that problem is best summed up with the Compulsive gamblers mantra of " I cannot win because I cannot stop " . 

For us there is no off switch and although fortunately for you as you said " Your still in the black " that won't last forever if you continue down this path my friend . 

If you genuinely want to stop gambling and not just stop losing as I did for many years then I'd think about getting any savings or access to funds as far away as possible from those Gambling fingers of your's ? .

Perhaps by handing over either those funds or better still handing over full financial control to someone you can trust and confide in ? , not sure if you've told anyone of your dirty little secret yet but that's a must too as gambling loves secrecy and it allows you to pick up right where you left off if the urge to gamble becomes too much , if there's no access to funds and you tell your partner / mum / dad or whoever you become more accountable and not just to yourself . 

Addiction promises us so much but just brings misery but the good news is that you can do this , you can stop gambling but it's just a question of how much you want to and how proactive you become in putting all that's needed to keep you safe from another bet ? . 

You are very fortunate that you've not got into debt , just keep it that way as things can spiral out of control very quickly . 

Talk to you soon buddy and all the best for now :)) 

Alan  

Hi

GA Meetings helped me a lot for sure.

It took time to open up and feel comfortable talking to people who were unhealthy like me.

In time attending meetings got easier, my fears reduced and my trust grew in other people.

I have over time spent hours talking with like minded people.

I started to write things down, it gave me clarity and focus in every thing I did.

Writing down my needs first of all, Writing down my wants was important, and then of course new motives in finding goal setting a new skill in my life.

My motives were very unhealthy, I did things reluctantly, I did things resentfully, I did things to person please people,  I did things out of guilt peneance, it took time to get motivated in healthy ways.

Guilt is the consequences of going against my own conscience.

Recovery is a healing program, on walking in to the recovery program did I admit to myself how much pain fear and frustrations I had bottled up in me.

I thought that is you asked for help you were a weak person.

There is no doubt in mind that I was a victim as a child, then knowing how painful it was for me being a victim, I then became a perpetrator even hurting the closet people to me.

I remained a victim for so long because I was not able to speak up for myself.

Once I put up boundaries and spoke up for myself from a place of peace I was for sure no longer the victim.

Please stick with your recovery, in time you will value your self and other people.

Love and best wishes

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Thanks for the supportive words, Alan.

I do consider myself fortunate compared to others. I've not gambled for a few weeks now and although I'm not naive to think the habit won't rear its ugly head in the future I do feel I've begun to chip away at it.

I've only ever gambled online (secret right?) and never had a desire to gamble in a bookie on the high street. I'm optimistic over time I can break this destructive habit

Shanks

Thanks Dave - best wishes to you

Shanks

Posted by: shankly77

Thanks for the supportive words, Alan.

I do consider myself fortunate compared to others. I've not gambled for a few weeks now and although I'm not naive to think the habit won't rear its ugly head in the future I do feel I've begun to chip away at it.

I've only ever gambled online (secret right?) and never had a desire to gamble in a bookie on the high street. I'm optimistic over time I can break this destructive habit

 

Shanks

Hiya Buddy :)) 

I've never gambled online , for me it was always a bookies or casino and occasionally a racetrack but I can assure you that mine was just as secret as yours :(( 

I don't think it makes any difference how , where or what we gamble on to be honest ? , whichever way I look at it the outcome will always be the same once we cross that line and become Compulsive about it ? . 

It wasn't until I actually got some gamble free time under my belt that I began to realise just how crazy my world had become , chasing money with more money that now thinking about it would have never given me the riches I dreamed of ? . 

Mate , if you can draw a line under this now while still in the black then I doff my hat to you, as it takes a lot for a Compulsive gambler to walk away with money still in their pocket and that's why I suggested handing it over and confiding in someone because sure as eggs is eggs you'll get an urge at some point where that compulsive mind of your's starts hatching a plan . 

I'm not preaching but I just wish I could have had this conversation  with my younger self ( many yrs ago ) before I became a slave to this addiction and truly hope you do finish with this and get on with living the life you want and should have :)) .

Stay well mate and you know where I am if you need a chat :)) 

Alan