Finding it hard!

Hi

There comes a time when you realise youve got to step up to the strongest measures or you will keep gambling.

Its a drug addiction and you have to start thinking of it that way. Cold turkey is what you have to do and you wont be comfortable until your mind starts healing

My view is that gamban or gamstop are on the list but its not nearly enough just to install those. You have gadgets at home and time on your hands to figure out ways to get around it. They are not enough on their own

If you are truly ready you need to tell the strictest non gambler in your family that you have a real problem. You need to be ready to have your gadgets confiscated for a good while...get a 2g phone and use it to line up more work if you get me. You need to be monitored and provide receipts with an allowance you are given. Its nothing to do with being treated like a baby. Its to stop you chucking your hard earned money down a grid!

This addiction laughs at what we often call willpower. Its laughing at you because it wants its fix and has been getting it. You are not in control of your own mind and its an illness.

What you have done is understandable. Its fraud but I've been there defrauding my parents with lies.

I can feel many gamblers thinking what I am saying is a bit wet. I can feel them thinking hang on buddy Im a grown Man/Woman and how would I cope with that? Many don't stop until they have been crying for days and really think the world is ending.

You need solid foundations. The addiction is strong with you. If one thing fails you needed to be talking through a plan B and C with blocks. That said I would stop you but reckon you may not be comfortable with whats needed

Prove me wrong! Its your life. Nothing changes if nothing really changes. 

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

The question that I ask for someone like yourself is how bad do you want to stop? If you have really had enough would you do anything to stop, just as you apparently will do anything to carry on.

You said you tried really hard to stop and I believe you think you did. One block and some willpower. That probably was hard but could you have done more?

You set up Gamstop, you use another name and email and yet you blame Gamstop for not stopping your mobile number? That's on you.

Counselling isn't for everyone but what about Gamblers Anonymous? I know it's not open properly yet but there are zoom meetings online. See their website for details.

Have you given your access to money over to anyone else? Have you told anyone who could help you and be strict enough to say no to whatever excuses you may use to get your money back? If not a partner or parent then maybe an uncle? Have you even told someone close that you want help?

Have you still kept all the access to gambling? Get rid of it. Get a £10 text and call phone, no internet access. Got a tablet, install a gambling ban app or bit of software, there's lots available.

Exercising is good for mental health if you find yourself battling to get through a day. Don't worry about stopping forever, just get through one day at a time and if that's not enough do one morning and one afternoon and one evening at a time.

Get on the live chat and talk to someone who understands what you're going through and see how they did it. 

So there are just a few ways to help. There is no magic tablet, it will take an effort on your part and a desire to stop gambling. Maybe see if any of those things work and let the forum know.

Chris.

Thanks for the reply.

Ive been trying to stop for a long time because the logical part of my brain tells me I’m better off not gambling but the addiction tells me that £XX deposit could end in another £XX win that I had once before. Although I know if I didn’t make these repeated deposits over time I would have had a lot more than £XX if I saved it instead.

Im not blaming Gamstop I know exactly what I was doing and it has made it a lot more difficult. I added that new email address to gamstop so all the accounts I signed up to on that email should know be banned too meaning no site will touch me with a barge pole even if I try which hopefully means I won’t even bother trying. 

After reading through this site I’ve installed gamban software on my phone so I can no longer even “free play” to pass time. 

I want to stop because life is stressful having to lie all the time about where my money has gone. I’ve already had my wages paid in to my mums account for a long time now and transfer only the money I have left after bills are paid but I’m still finding myself waste £200-£400 a week when that money could go on having a really comfortable happy life! I just havnt been able to help doing it!

I feel like I’ve been making small steps to recovering from this lifelong addiction and hopefully the steps I’ve taken now me I can fully stop. 

I will keep coming back here to read other people’s stories and talk about it as I find it easier opening up about my addiction here than talking to mum as she has enough stress with my dads addiction and I don’t want to put her through it again with me. So I kind of leave myself battling it on my own.

All I know is I’m trying to fight it and i do want to stop by whatever means possible. 

Well you sound strong 

Or you can put on a good act. I'm 43yr do you want to be doing the same when you hit my age? Sit and work out how much you could possibly lose from your age now till mine. What would you do with all that money?  I've seen about 10 councillor not all off them did I click with but when I found Chris, what a genuine man would do anything for you. When I finished my sessions with him he asked me to join a group with him and 2 others 2 x per week and 2hrs sessions  £20 a time I just never went as I didn't want to waste money but if I had joined I wouldn't be where I'm at today. There is someone for everyone so keep phoning asking for help go see your gp who can access help for you, you've got to eat a lot off Apple's before you get a sweet one. But what ever you do don't give up tell your mum to keep all your money at the moment and only get what you need in small amounts, you know what to do you just need that little push to get over the line. Keep me updated 

Thanks for your response. I think I’m strong until I get paid! 

for example since I lost my wages when I first posted this and added “fake” email to gamstop and installed gamban I havnt even thought about betting or trying to get money to bet. 

The acid test will be next payday so hopefully the added restrictions I’ve done means this payday will finally be the day after years and years that I take the first real big step to recovering.

I know where I want to be in 10 years. I know where I want to be in one year. I am not strong but I’m not acting. I KNOW what I need to do the hard bit and what will make me strong is doing it and beating it.

I will send another update on Thursday when I get paid with how I’m feeling and what happens. 

You'll be strong 

On Thursday I'll be looking for your message and I know it'll be a good one, look all we can do is take one day at a time if it was so easy none off us would be on here it's the devils addiction you tell me any other addiction that you can lose nearly  £8000 in 1hr plus you show me a bookie whose got less money than us. Why should we keep giving them our money I can't say for sure I won't gamble again as I've said it so many times just to end up loosing even more. One day at a time because we deserve to be happy and make sure you put as many blocks in as you can as if we relapse we need to limit the damage, what do you think 

My step dad sits and puts multiple bets on for tiny stakes on a Saturday for the football and enjoys it once a week, how it should be. Id like to think one day I’d be able to feel that too but because of my years of abuse of gambling I just get no excitement unless there’s big risks and big rewards. My Gamstop is five years this time as the moment my last 12month one ended I was bang on it counting down the days until I could bet again. 

My mindset this time is complete abstinence for five years and see what happens in the future. I’m well aware of the signs and the feelings now so if at the end of five years I get the same feelings as this year I will just renew for another five years.

I want to be in a stable position with life and mental health within a year so after the five years is up I don’t even think about it.

We are all on a long road to recovery and everyone’s path and method is different. One step at a time, first step has been taken (again), next step will be Thursday, if I can make it to the following payday with money remaining I know I’m on the right track