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Finally ready to stop  

 
Pete21059
(@pete21059)

Hi everyone

I've had an addiction to gambling for probably 10 years or more I'm not sure exactly she it started , so many time I've wasted all my wages online gambling and not being able to pay bills etc.

I've just done it again and my partner of 3 years has just told me she's finishing things with me because of it , I've tried taking to her about how it's a sickness and I don't do it to hurt her and I'm trying to get help but she's adamant that's it,  to be fair she's had this for 3 years .

Does anyone have any advice for me please about what I can say to her to save our relationship 

Many thanks

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Posted : 31st July 2020 11:36 am
Joe-90
(@joe-90)

It may be too late to save this relationship, but if you honestly try and tackle your addiction you can save future ones. The problem is we have a compulsive nature which basically never leaves us but we can work at it, become more aware of what triggers it and how to change our behaviour to defend against it. Because of this you can never guarantee to a partner that you will never bet again. 

Look up you local GA meeting and start attending them as often as possible, register with GamStop to self exclude from all sites, this will at least get the ball rolling on tackling the problem. 

If you are speaking to your partner/ex you could let her know about this forum especially the one for Family and friends of compulsive gamblers. She has lived with one for 3 years so may blame herself in some ways so it might help her process what has gone on. You however can only focus on yourself.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st August 2020 10:48 am
Pete21059
(@pete21059)

Thanks for replying @joe-90 

I'm just about to register with gamstop and I've been referred for counselling.  Trouble is my partner will only look at this with a narrow mind she doesn't care about triggers etc so i dont think the relationship can be saved but I am determined to sort this out 

Hope all is ok In your life 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 1st August 2020 1:36 pm
Joe-90
(@joe-90)

Look up your nearest GA meeting mate, make it a regular part of your week, be totally honest at the meetings and devote the time you wasted gambling and thinking about gambling to your recovery and you will improve as a person. When you do that the good things in life follow. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd August 2020 10:58 am
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

@pete21059

As joe has said if you get yourself to a GA meeting when you can and start putting some time away from a bet you'll start to see things clearer but also from your girlfriend's pov. She's had a massive shock and even if the relationship doesn't solve itself you can still have a good life for yourself. You're not a bad person despite the things gambling seems to turn us into, and there is still a good life waiting for you. If you can do this for yourself then maybe she'll see the change in you. If you don't try though you've got no chance so you've really got nothing to lose.

Chris.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 2nd August 2020 12:04 pm
Pete21059
(@pete21059)

Thanks for the advice,

I've now self excluded with gamstop and as you advised I'm going to find a ga meeting,  I kind of already feel better just knowing I can't do it even if I want to

However I'm well aware this is a long road but I think I'm finally ready to stop and take back some control

Good luck to everyone in the group 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 3rd August 2020 3:05 pm
Joe-90
(@joe-90)

Good on you Pete, its not easy but you are tackling it which is the main thing. One day at a time mate.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 3rd August 2020 5:16 pm
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