finally I spoke to someone tonight.

You can start from scratch and you can get back to a good place. I believe this is possible but ONLY if you block it all. Self exclude or GAMSTOP. If not you will do it again. When you said nobody knows your dirty secret, i related straight away. It is a dirty secret and thats how ive felt for years. I self excluded monday after doing exactly the same as you. Theres no way to stop unless you do. Ive cried many times cuddling my dog wishing i didnt have this problem. Waking up and it hitting me like a ton of bricks what ive done. Thinking i can fix it if i try again. But even when i win i loose it all, its like i know im going to aswell. Your right you know whats important. Do the block. Do it as soon as you possibly can 

Hiya missnomoney

I'm sorry you've had such a bad night and my heart goes out to you as the feelings your experiencing are sickness to the bone. It only takes a short period of time and bang you've lost such a large amount of money.  Your not on your own and I know it's horrible as you've saved all that money just to lose it all but just remember you can stop now and your not in debt. But you must put blocks in place as you know just that one time and you'll find your in a pile off debt so pick yourself up and you'll sa-again plus lesson learnt. Please seek help for addiction 

Hi both livingwithregret and missnomoney well done to both of you for coming on here and sharing massive step admitting that you have a problem. The money lost is no more and you have to find a way to put it behind you. I too have done all the things in your posts. Blocking sites is a brilliant start as you are blocking your access to gambling and therefore not making your situations worse. However compulsive gambling is an addiction and to go forward I would advise both of you to seek professional help. I'm halfway through my counselling sessions and they are helping , talking to a stranger who won't judge you is very liberating and saying exactly how you feel and why you feel it is really important. Addiction feeds off the lies deceit shame and self loathing as you have both identified it doesn't seem to be about winning as it just fuels you with more to gamble with. There is a way forward today I'm 35days gamble free after 20 years of gambling worse for last 4years and last 1-2 years totally out of control gambling daily big loses some wins ?? Really wins what did I do with those wins....You both know. Mentally I'm seeing the benefits already not lying anymore is huge( I wasn't brought up that way) not having to worry about emails from the bank credit cards etc. My husband is in full financial control I have no access to cards accounts etc he doesn't trust me and I don't know if he ever will again (I don't trust myself). I have come to terms that this is going to be a lifelong recovery but do you know what I'm happier and more stable already...do I think I've got this beat....no ......I'm giving it all I've got to go forward and beat it into submission . So guys there is a way forward you have to commit to it do the full measures and keep coming on here and sharing. When I eventually tell more people about this I will shout about Gamcare and gamstop from the rooftop you never know when you come across the person keeping "the secret " do you. Hope I've given you both food  for thought best wishes for your journeys into recovery.

Thanks.   I have set up the gamstop self exclusion and most of the time it works.Unfortunately when I want to gamble it seems I can always find a way.  I'm now thinking i'll need gamblock or something and no doubt i'll discover a way round that as well.  Going to contact my bank and see if they can stop gambling transactions as well.  Feeling positive today, which is good and not as depressed as I thought I would be. Think having a plan in place and finally speaking to gamcare has helped me a great deal.  Thank you for the advice and I hope you are feeling a bit better after what happened on Mon, glad you have your dog for cuddles. Thank you for your reply as I haven't really spoke to anyone about my problem and it feels goos to get thngs off my chest 🙂

Hi miss-no-money, well done on taking the step to post in the forum, i'm also new and this did feel almost like a last resort to stop but since i've posted I feel like it's taken a huge weight off my shoulders as I start my journey.

I would strongly recommended getting something like BetBlocker, which you can install on your phone or laptop and this will stop you getting on any gambling website or apps, or anything linked to gambling i.e. I can't get on racing post, which links to gambling sites.

This has removed all the temptation for me and is working really well so far.

You have to set a timescale when you first install BetBlocker and it's literally unreversable, so I set mine as a year and I tried to uninstall or switch it off (not to gamble, just to test how good it was) and it's literally impossible.

Removing the temptation is half the battle for me.

Good luck on your journey.

Hi miss no money, we all have to start somewhere. The main thing is you have started. I was the same as you 4 weeks ago but being on here has really helped. I would also recommend Gamstop and Betblocker, (I have them both) and have set Betblocker to 5 years. I would advise speaking to someone on online chat and arranging counselling as they are very good. I have had 2 counselling sessions now and talking about everything without being judged is really helping. Reading other peoples stories also makes me realise I am not alone fighting this.  Stay positive and good luck