Where to start I have gambled for the last 17 years and not had a good relationship with gambling but never admitted to having a problem till now.
it started a week ago my girlfriend confronted me and asked if I was still online gambling as previously a year ago I asked her to change passwords and details on sites I used she did this willingly and it started off great but I started to feel the need to gamble and I did online with out her knowing and hiding it ( I know low ) I still didn’t think I had a problem I was in denial and carried on loosing , winning going from a great high to a great low .
My girlfriend is amazing and in so many ways turned my life around but I still gambled she asked me a few months ago if I was gambling and I said no again in denial I was doing anything wrong , she rightly became suspicious as I never had money after all I am loosing which looking at it now affected my moods she obviously had such a suspicion that she went through my paypal and found out everything how much I had been gambling how much I had been loosing and how little I had won if anything this led to an argument and I still was in denial
So right now we are on a break as I have lied hurt her in a way I can’t even fathom if she will want me .
When I was at work she brought my stuff to me to me and It hit me I have a problem a big problem and I self excluded using gamstop and even contacting the sight I was using and self excluded there as well. I know these are the first steps but I know there is no easy fix or quick solution. The realisations I have had through this is I have hurt my family through all my years of gambling and even more broke the heart of the woman that is the finest most caring loving person I have ever met and I am harming myself by gambling as it was controlling me . I know this is a long journey and just finding this site has opened my eyes just to how much I have deluded myself into believing everything was ok and I didn’t have a problem
finding this site has helped me realise I need help