Filling The Void After Gambling.

Exercise. Improves physical health and releases serotonin.

Something where you can set a challenge and see progress is one way of filling the void.

Weights and seeing your body change is a good one. I read a lot before and found that sending a bod selfie to someone you trust and telling them you'll look different in 6 weeks is a great motivator! I spent a while tidying my garage and making a small gym.

Weights not your thing, how about some kind of event (wolf run, peaks challenge etc..)  If that's all a bit hardcore for you, how about couch to 5k or 100 press ups challenge. 

I've found it's really helped, but I've also done a few things no one would expect of me.  Chess, audiobooks (mainly about leading a better life, but some fiction too), learning a language, bought a set of mindfulness cards that set a challenge each day. Basically anything that is challenging, achievable and improves my physical or mental health.  Yes, this all sounds a bit ideal and cliched, but it's doing the trick.  

@bdog 

Thank you for the reply! All good stuff. I like the sound of the fitness and i know they do a park run near me, maybe i will get that a try. 

Joint 'Headspace' today. off a close friends recommendation!  Hopefully that will help. I also like darts and a pub quiz. I might have a look into this too. Just getting up is a good day at the moment. I am in a depressive state right now, so need some focus. 

MH  

Do you have a passion you can get into, or something you liked as a kid you can take up again?

I think it helps to have a hobby that gets your adrenaline going. I am not a thrill seeker so i wish I had that interest that would give me those highs.

Hi @urgh

I loved football, I still do but gave up at around 25 and at 34 I'm a little old now to start again! Dont think I can take the aches on a Monday morning. 

I'm am going to look into some local groups, maybe there is something I haven't done before which will make keep going and keep moving forward! 

Must admit, since posting I actually feel a lot better than the previous days. That may sound odd but it's true. 

I want the old me back. Loads of football this weekend and no betting! 

1 step to complete is this weekend. 

MH 

The key point i read was Two happy kids. focus on them my friend, the most precious thing you can give your children is your time. That would be a great place to start.

Hi @tamber12

They are my world! 6 & 8 year old girls.... When i think of them my heart bursts with pride. 

One thing gambling doesn't have over me is seeing them happy. We have been together and gone down the seaside last few day, because of the gorgeous weather. Seeing them happy makes me so happy. 

Just been lovely the last few days. Feeling good tonight 

MH 

Wait one year. Veterans footie starts at 35! You’ll be the youngest whipper snapper of them all. Fortnightly games and far less petulance! Give it a go

Hi

Its an interesting one when people refer to filling the void. I believe the void was in our souls for not realising there are lots of things to do that will give us a pleasure boost in life

They can be simple pleasures or way out there things like planning a skydive

I had to take a good look at myself and ask why a gambling hit was what I craved. I see it as a drug addiction as the medical experts do. I was seeking escape from a very jaded view of life. The truth is I had become hooked on that feeling of expectation which lifted me above numb.

In recovery I realised I had better things to do. If I had a fulfilled healthy mind, gambling would not have been a preferable thing to do.

A gambling addiction is complex. I realised I had an ill relationship with money and had become a miser...didnt like spending it on normal things but would sink thousands every year gambling I was more addicted to the feeling of gambling than the feeling of wanting to win anything. Thats a balance that shifts in the head as the addiction is complex

I had to learn to enjoy spending money again within reason. I had lost my va va voom and that came back when I started thinking about activities I had been missing out on. You dont have to be brilliant at them but go and have a try.

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

Take a break from gambling and learn to enjoy the simple things again.  Things you used to enjoy when you were younger before gambling took hold.  relaxing baths, walks in the countryside, time with your kids and family .  We didn't used to need "excitement", we can learn to enjoy the things that really give us pleasure again - there is no void.

Andy

Hi

Just abstaining and doing nothing else is white knuckling recovery.

I use to think that I loved Gambling, how sad is that.

Recovery is about healing my pains, not just the pains of yesterday but to heal that hurt inner child that was bottled up for so long.

The reasons for not spending money on myself was because I did not value myself, and I did not feel that I deserved any thing.

Even when people paid me a compliment I thought they had got it all wrong, that they were talking about some one else.

It was important to understand that by giving up one unhealthy habit I needed to replace it with a healthy habit.

One Saturday morning Shirley my wife asked me how I was feeling, I told her that I was feeling very vulnerable.

Well Shirley said get your jacket on we are going out.

Where are we going I asked, she said it was not important where just to get going.

We found a ten pin bowling alley and started to do ten pin bowling every Saturday morning.

It was a very healthy habit, we went as a family and it was great.

Instead of fearing Saturday Morning I was stimulated by the a new healthy habit.

I was very deficient in communication skills, the therapies at meetings helped me to articulate my feelings in much healthier ways.

If I was not willing to admit to myself I was unhealthy then it was not possible to move from being a unhealthy to become recovered.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.