feeling the preasure

Hi tamber 

You need to let go of that one big win will bring you joy mentality.

I was in your boat only 4 weeks ago. I have lost close to 30k in my lifetime but i relapsed. I was up 6k and i though i have a system here which cant fail...however it always does. I was betting bigger stakes to try and get a bigger thrill but ran the risk of losing more money i.e. like u losing 2.6 over 2 bets i was similar. Our brain says we are good at this but when we lose our brain finds it hard to process so we take more risks.

Im guessing you are thinking about lumping on the champs league/europa league final...you have to accept your losses have gone. Use gamstop, talk to friends, family and/or GA, give your money to look after and dont watch the games...do something else. By watching the games you will think ohh if only i bet on them i would have won etc. You have the symtoms i have. Im just over 3 weeks GF and im spending more time with my wife and my new puppy. 

Let the money go and live life with no regrets. No-one on their death bed will look back and say look hoe much money they made but will look back at their experiences. 

Stay strong....you can fight this.

Hello mate

I feel what you were saying in your post. Very honest and it really does make complete sense. The paradox you find yourself in re betting or not betting and consequent malaise... Well you've described it so well. What you've described is why many people find themselves on here.

Definitely it can be seen that you are holding on to that notion that you have been 'successful' in the past. You won a bit of money once, but youve lost LIFE CHANGING SUMS. My friend, you were bankrupt! You were never successful. You've been ruining your life with gambling and now you've done the courageous thing and gone so many weeks not gambling, being counter-intuitive to what you've always known... The days will get easier if you clock them up... The urges will subside my man... Place those bets next week and you'll reset the wheels. Everything starts from day 1 again, the pain, the anger, the fear, the obsession with it all, the sleepless nights, the urge to bet again... You know what I'm talking about, you know it all (and all the above is applicable to whether you win or don't I'm next week right? You win and all the apprehension resides around knowing you'll go back for more at some point and eventually f**k yourself over)

Listen... You lump on next week... 

WHAT IF YOU're WRONG

What if the bets don't come in

What if you lose a buttload of money and heap loads of pressure and depression on yourself as a result of being in the s**t?

The bets may OR MAY NOT come in. People bet on games because they can do it sensibly. It doesn't actually matter who wins and whether the bet comes in

We cannot bet sensibly. It does matter to us who wins and what comes in. Our lives are dictated by the results.

Please understand, you've done amazing. Don't f**k it up now. 

Life will get better if you stay on this path

Life can only get worse if you go back to gambling because like the rest of us, you can't control it.

You were bankrupt man, haven't you learnt your lesson by now?

How much pain can you inflict on yourself before you break? You know people have taken their own lives as a result of destroying themselves time and time again through gambling losses until they can't take it anymore. You may be able to beat the pain now but how much cumulatively can you take?

Read the previous post. You have some good advice there.

Also think about your relationship to money. It's not healthy from what I read in your post.

You need to put some serious work in before now and when those bets are due if you want to be strong enough to beat the urges.

Come on here, hit up GA, keep your mind busy with proactive activities, abstain from sport watching for the time being, talk to an actual physical person about how you are feeling currently (this can work wonders)

How much do you want this?

Please don't bet on those games mate.

WHAT IF YOURE WRONG

WHAT IF YOUR BETS DONT COME IN

WHAT HAPPENS THEN

(Not a rhetorical question, I would be interested in you detailing your response on here)

Best of luck comrade.

Hi

The person that was hardest on one me was myself, by me being impatient and intolerant was an indicator that I was very hard on myself.

Thank you for mentioning that we tend to remember the wins and we forget the losses.

Could it all be the fact that we have got in to the unhealthy habit of burying and suppressing our pains.

For me burying and suppressing my pains happened from a very early age.

With step one I read it that my life was unmanageable long before my addictions and obsessions came in to play.

For me the Gambling was a form of risk taking, blanking things out, as I caused myself more and more pains the fears in me grew larger and larger.

The money was the fuel for my addiction, you can take away the money yet that would not reduce me wanting to escape people life and situation I could not cope with emotionally.

On first walking in to the recovery there were many people who were religious and would imply that the only way to a healthy recovery was taking up a religious belief.

That did not work for me I am a non religious person yet I do believe in spiritual values and healthy living.

Handing over our fiances was very difficult for me.

I felt by me controlling our fiances was a control issue for me.

Handing over our fiances made me feel more insecure.

The question to answer how much money did I need each day, with sharing and talking it was only 10.00 per day.

As I got healthy some times there was money left at the end of the week.

Understanding my emotional triggers was critical to my having a healthy recovery.

I do not talk about money or being in action, it is not healthy for me and often will adversely affect other people.

What were the consequences of my unhealthy habits.

How can I exchange my unhealthy habits in to healthy habits .

How much time and energy am I willing to place in to my recovery.

Am I willing to be completely selfish in becoming healthy.

The addictions and obsessions were just symptoms that I was not a healthy person.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA

Dave of Beckenham

Hello Tamber,

I just joined, I have been reading the forum all day while sitting in a coffee shop, and all evening at home. I am not only an addicted gambler, but I am also a problem and compulsive gambler.

You have been given some sound advice above, but my simple answer is don't have the bet, it's the only one you have to avoid. You really don't need to worry about any others just the one, and then carry on with the rest of your day.

Try not to be hard on yourself for still having the feelings of wanting to gamble, it's just the way it is for us, you can only deal with those feelings as they come up, one minute at a time, one hour at a time, and a one day at a time. 

Give yourself some credit for coming onto a forum like this and fighting back, that takes courage and special type of awareness. By your own admission you say you can't bet sensibly, you are not alone, I can't either. But recognise you are taking responsibility by being here now, your many weeks of strength are not in vain, you haven't had a bet, so why not add one more little day to that effort.

Even if your bet comes in...what then? When does it stop? 

Answer...it wont.

Never gamble again and then you truly might find a happy life.

I will feel sad if you bet, your choice but I promise if you do you won't stop till you lose it all.

First, of thank you all so much for taking the time and effort to reply to my post, it really is appreciated!

Today i feel stronger, the feeling of going for a bet has thankfully subsided.

I feel by just putting words on the post helped.

I didn't necessarily need assurance from anyone else.i needed it from my self!

Some good points made. Thank you.

as a compulsive gambler, i am not frightened of losing, sounds daft i am more worried about winning.

a losing bet would mean, start again day one. a winning run would potentially mean bet after bet,

But just for today, i will not bet.

Thank you for your support!

Kind regards T 

? glad you feel stronger

Those urges will probably return at some point. Keep working at this and be ready for them.

Key factors in my recovery to fight urges have been on YouTube (the after gambling podcasts, Andy margett vlog, and the video diaries from people who have accessed the Gordon moody rehab centres)

You should defo get onto these during the lull period... Gambling will probably be back for you at some point, develop the armoury to fight it off ✌️

Hi tamber12.

You need to firmly focus that its not an income scheme. Do the exercises...write down what you have given away because you have given it away on those odds. 

Be very careful about what you say about success when the odds are always set against you. If it was set up for punters success the bookies would be out of business fast

They are NOT and have NEVER offered you life changing odds on Man U vs the grannies 11. To hear gamblers banter away you would think that is on offer all the time...Its just addicts talking

Deep down the answers are within you and you know the answers. That is why this is the most dangerous addiction in my book. Its legalised pushing and I know it needs to be heavily regulated or banned completely.

This moment that will save you is a myth...a delusional dream. Its a mugs game and a losers game. It ruins people and it kills people to put it bluntly.

This is a about a born again moment where being gamble free just feels right. Its about a moment of serenity and handing over some control of your finances. You have an ill relationship with money but you will heal in time.

When you learn about the addiction you will find the reasons why in your soul. It runs that deep.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

hi all.although the feelings of taking that bet have subsided. 

i have been questioning my commitment wanting to stop gambling.

The truth is, i have never wanted to stop gambling, there i have said it.

All i have wanted to do is stop losing!

But being a compulsive gambler i will never be in control, yes maybe for an hour maybe for a day a week,but

once out of control, there is no stopping, there is a no return point, where its all or nothing.

Do i really want that? no

I have come along way, nearly 11wks GF this time, and after a short slip up over 6months before that.

So we go again, just for today i will not gamble!

Wishing you all peace strength and love.