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1punchjamoo
(@1punchjamoo)

I've tried for years but I can't stop. I can't hold down a job. I'm so unhappy I just came so close to killing myself. I'm in debt and they won't leave me alone, I have 4 phone contracts because I had to get the phones to sell them to get by and now I'm just so overwhelmed. Next week I get my last pay.. if I lose it.. I don't know what I'll do. I've just smashed by guitar and set up a way to commit suicide but by the time I'd finished after crying, I'd calmed down. Talking about it doesn't help. Nothing helps. I don't want to live anymore.

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Posted : 10th October 2019 9:45 pm
Howaythelads
(@howaythelads)

Hey mate, you have already made a good decision by calming down and logging on here. This shows you want to sort things out. 

I know it seems impossible now but this can get better. 

Sign up to Gamstop now - do it now whilst you do not have the urge to gamble. 

Once that has been done then give GamCare a call to get some expert advice. 

The companies you owe money to can wait for now, it’s important you put your blocks in place first. 

 

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Posted : 10th October 2019 10:13 pm
Oranje01
(@oranje01)

Please don’t give up. When you’re upset and under pressure it clouds your judgement and leaves you with dark thoughts. We’ve all hit rock bottom with gambling and debt here so your not alone, please call step change and get some help. Ending your life isn’t worth it, no matter how much money you owe.

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Posted : 10th October 2019 10:16 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Dear @1punchjamoo,

I am really sorry to read you are feeling so low at the moment. I am also worried to read that you have made plans to end your life. Glad you've managed to calm down now, but it is important that you find some support around feeling suicidal. 

Recovery is difficult and we will have set-backs. Talking about it does help, but it has to go hand in hand with some action on your part as well. What do you think could motivate you to make some changes that will stick? You are not alone in this, the Forum is here to support you and we are here to support you. Both in how you are feeling at the moment and in your recovery.

 Please call us on the Helpline or Netline we are now here 24/7. Not just to talk but to discuss a plan how we can help you move forward with your recovery.

Please also contact the Samaritans or CALM or Maytree .

And finally, I would strongly recommend that you make an appointment with your GP as well. 

You are not alone. And you can stop gambling too.

Wishing you all the best,

Eva

Forum Admin

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Posted : 10th October 2019 11:01 pm
Battle of time
(@battle-of-time)

Giving up is not the answer mate, it’s good you have calmed yourself down and not doing anything in a spur of the moment. 

your debts can wait they may be onto you but if you speak to them and say you no longer own the phones you will be able to set up a plan where you pay for the phone and not the contact, this may work out cheaper in the long run.

Put blocks in place now so that when you get your last pay check you won’t be gambling it and hopefully this pay can keep you going until you have another source of income.

this is a hard hard road that many of us take and I hope you can get on the road with so many of us. It can only start with day one gamble free and this is the start of your journey and the rest of your life  

 

BATTLE OF TIME 

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Posted : 10th October 2019 11:14 pm
1punchjamoo
(@1punchjamoo)

Thanks everyone but I just don't know what to do. If I block myself I'll go bookies then I'll smashed the machines or assault staff both of which I've already done and have already been to jail for. I've burgled in order to gamble. ... The safest thing for me is to stay inside and not force myself to find ways to gamble that involve me being in the public. Rather stay at home and break my own things. I'll try doctors again but I know nothing will change and my debts will increase and debt collectors will come. Just so f*d up. Wish I had the courage to end my life but I don't so all I can do is feel like I want to die.

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Posted : 10th October 2019 11:57 pm
GamblingCompaniesAreCrooks
(@gamblingcompaniesarecrooks)

Hi,

I felt sad reading your post and it must be really rubbish for you. Please don’t harm yourself, it’s not worth it. 
As mentioned above, self exclude through GamStop ASAP!
In terms of debts, get in contact with each company and admit the situation you are in. 9 times out of 10 they will set up an affordable payment plan.
You will get back on track before long. Keep positive and we will all keep positive for you too.

All the best 

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Posted : 11th October 2019 12:15 am
1punchjamoo
(@1punchjamoo)

I appreciate the kind words but I don't think any of you are reading Everything I put or you don't understand fully. I have payment plans.. I have this entire year but if I gamble Everything instantly then how can I pay them ? I can't block myself because then I'll be forced to go out and gamble in there ways where I will then get angry and commit crimes and go to prison... I've quit my job because when I earn money I lose it as soon as I'm paid.. I can't earn money, I can't block myself and I can't stop debt collectors or debt collection agencies. Hence me just wanting to do. I've heard all these things before, call this number, just block yourself ect.. talking doesn't solve anything and me gambling in bed on my phone is best case scenario. Next week is my last pay, I'm 2 months behind on 3 phone contracts and broken multiple payments plans last week and this week and I only did a day and a half this week.. I'm screwed and will most likely lose again and then.. who knows. Human life isn't even important so it's whatever. I might just sell what little I have and dissapear so at least my mum doesn't have to deal with debt collectors and other bullsh*t I bring 

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Posted : 11th October 2019 3:04 am
Howaythelads
(@howaythelads)

You are right, we don’t fully understand as we do not know the whole story but we all know from experience the first thing to do is to block your access to gambling. 

I truely think a call to GamCare is your best bet as there are many things to discuss.  

 

If you don’t have the money, then you can’t pay your debts yet - simple as that. However, you need to work on stopping gambling, hence the advice given. Definitely easier said than done, I know. 

 

Have you spoken to your mum about this? I am sure she would want to know the pain and struggle you are going through because, as a parent myself, I would hate for my children to be going through something that I could help them out with. 

The main thing is, you need to speak to someone mate. Please make a call today. You can get through this it’s only money to these companies and they make enough already to be able to let you slide for a little while. 

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Posted : 11th October 2019 6:41 am
1punchjamoo
(@1punchjamoo)

If I block my access to gambling online I will do it in person and lose my head. I have done before and it's even worse now with the £2 limit. I don't want to go to prison for a 4th time. The safest way for me to gamble is on my phone at home if I block that I'll leave my house and go to a bookies or casino or something wether I ban myself from them or not. I've had these debts all year and they're f*d up I've broken multiple plans and I've been straight with them.ivr had 3 jobs which I was lucky to get but losing everything I earned was just too much. My mum paid one off recently without my permission  because she saw a letter about it going to caught and she was only able to do that as my great grandma had died and my Nan gave her some money. I've been a burden for years. I lost over 25k in a day instead of sorting my life out and helping her. I got 35k paid debts gave my Nan 1k and my mum 3k and blew the rest.. I can't change, nothing will change

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Posted : 11th October 2019 11:44 am
Givemethebuzz
(@givemethebuzz)

I think at this stage mate the only option you have is to take things one day at a time

your in a right pickle and a lot of it is in your head I know because I have experienced the same feelings of helplessness within my own mind

it helps to talk to someone in the real world and I mean really go through all of the emotions you are feeling

forget about the debt and the money because at the end of the day tomorrow will still come wether you pay it or not

they cant take anything if you don't have anything to give

set yourself some small targets ie don't gamble this weekend , then don't gamble next week

I guarantee within 2 weeks of gambling your mind will start to clear

 

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Posted : 11th October 2019 12:30 pm
YesMrC
(@yesmrc)

You can change it! It's only money, I'm 25k in debt same boat mate. If you don't have it they can't take it from you. You can change, it'd not easy but you can do it. 

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Posted : 11th October 2019 2:35 pm
Boolooser56
(@boolooser56)

Please please do not commit suicide.

You can give up, you have to want to do it.

 

Register on GamStop and with any land based casinos a firm called sense exists.

Get some advice from stepchange, honestly I paid £90 for a DRO and I owe £20,000.

You can do it, I believe in you and coming here shows your willing.  

Chin up 🤩

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Posted : 11th October 2019 3:46 pm
S.A
 S.A
(@s-687)

Blimey, you are in a right old pickle. You seem to be on a mission to self destruct and to take every one else with you. Iv'e seen people get really angry with the machines and attack them. I get angry with them too but I stuff it inside and just walk out feeling really forlorn and depressed.

I don't really know what to say that would be of any help, but I feel the need to say something. All I know for sure is that when i stop gambling life stops getting worse. The longer I stay stopped my mental health starts to improve and i become less panicked about life and like others say... creditors can't take what you don't have... money isn't your real problem.. gambling it away is. By the sounds of it... if you carry on as you are you will go back to jail. get yourself along to a GA meeting and the folk that have been off it for years... can give you a bollocking... and set you on a better path.

All the best... everything i say is well intentioned.

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Posted : 11th October 2019 4:33 pm
Friedkin
(@friedkin)

I'm going to take a risk here OnePunchJamoo. I reckon your username says a lot about your state of mind.

Your posts going back a few years now, always sound so angry like these terrible things are visited upon you and you have no say in the matter? I'm paraphrasing: 

"if i install gamblock I'll only go out and hit someone in a betting shop."

YOU are in control of how you act upon your thoughts! We can't choose what crazy urges/thoughts/instincts come into our head; thoughts come and go, none of us have any control over what pops into our heads! 

HOWEVER!!!!! What we DO have control over his HOW we react to those thoughts.

If, and it's a massive "if" OnePunchJa, you are sincerely saying you can't install Gamblock because you MUST GAMBLE, and if you can't do it privately then you MUST go out and do it in bookmakers and then when we invetibly lose you MUST smash up s**t/or/people - then mate, maybe install Gamblock, go out, hit someone, get nicked, got sent down - and then maybe, MAYBE, it might be the best thing that ever happened to you because you'd get time to pause locked up?

You need to take some responsibility for owning your own shwt though - If you can't help yourself, who the hell else is?

Be well,

f

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Posted : 11th October 2019 7:11 pm
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