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Do I have a future with my partner

 
Vic_88
(@vic_partner)

Hi all, I’m new here but I’m desperate need of guidance / support.  

My partner of 5 years has a GA, lost us everything time and time again.  It came to a head on Tuesday night after I found him in a betting shop after promising on Monday he would choose our family and not gamble again.  

Whilst he has made these promises time and time again, it never lasts for very long but he tries to cover it up with lies.  

He has left our family home now, as I couldn’t get over finding him in the betting shop.  

Our children are devastated, as am I - where has the man gone that I fell in love with, replaced with a man who would see our children starve and me working all the hours to pay for everything, while he works to just gamble it all away (and then take from me when he has lost it all). 

Has anyone else been through this?  Do I walk away for good, or is there any hope that he will stop for good and choose our family?

Overwhelmed with the awful feeling of not being good enough for him to choose me. 

X

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 12th May 2022 9:52 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hi  Vic_partner

Sorry to hear that you have been dealing with this situation , I know it can be really upsetting and frustrating as an affected other going through this .

There's support available for anyone affected by this , and you are never alone .  You can contact us anytime on 0808 8020 133 or via our website on our Netline service , and please try to encourage your son to also do this. 

Trust is the main thing that is affected in these situations and he can only build that back over time if he is serious about his recovery.

The most important thing is that you stay strong to look after yourself and children at this time.

Thanks for posting and sharing this and take care. 

Kirk 

Forum admin 

This post was modified 2 weeks ago by Forum admin
ReplyQuote
Posted : 12th May 2022 4:26 pm
GREG
 GREG
(@gdiddycourogen)

Your story brings me to tears.  Please know that he has no control over what he is doing.  I don’t know him, but I can speak from experience.  In my case I was trying to escape the difficulties in my life through gambling.  The gambling made the difficulties grow worse….and the tornado only grew stronger.  At age 50 I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder.  I knew nothing about it.  Gambling is one of the worse symptoms that can come along with the disease.  I struggle every day to accept the damages I caused.  My advice to you would be that, for the sake of you and your children, you demand that he seek out the help he so desperately needs.  Know that his actions do not reflect his love for you and your children.  You and your children need to come first, though.   It’s imperative.  I am now divorced.  The losses I have endured will haunt me and certainly decrease my life expectancy.  The peace I have found is in always being there for my children.  After being down those hallways of hell…I will do everything in my power to make sure gambling does no more damage to their lives.  I don’t know if you have family members to join you in an intervention (or if you’ve seen that television show), but it’s time for an ultimatum.  He needs to know that you love him beyond all measures, but you can no longer accept this behavior from him.  Again, I don’t know him, but looking into a mental health evaluation might be a good idea.  It likely saved my life.  I wish you peace and hope that your spouse agrees to accept the help he needs.

all my best,

Greg

ReplyQuote
Posted : 12th May 2022 10:49 pm
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