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Desperate feelings  

 
Cj1974
(@cj1974)

Hi there.. Feel like I’ve reached end of tether .. lost my mum recently after losing my father few years ago.. lost all savings and inheritance money.. lie upon lie to keep gambling. The only positive is that I have a job but motivation is difficult at the moment.. how do I even start to get over something that I have allowed to ruin my life in so many ways . I could have likely bought a house with losses and yet instead I’m stuck in a pit of despair 😩 

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Posted : 13th January 2021 12:24 am
Lou x
(@lou-x)

Hi,

Im really sorry to hear about the loss of your parents that must be so hard.

Your gambling money losses are sadly gone..however you can prevent any further damage you really need to get blocks and self exclusion in place and get some help with how you are feeling. Youve took the first step posting this.

Its really hard to accept losses but you need to accept you cant get  that money back and the only way of making any savings again is to stop gambling.

Its okay to feel in despair after all your losses, but its important to take advice and support to get on the right path and recover from gambling

Lou x 

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Posted : 13th January 2021 1:02 am
Sejan7
(@sejan7)

Nothing will ever make you feel better, and you will always have regrets.

What you can do tho is close all casinos, focus on the NOW moment, don't think about what have you done.

Given time everything will turn up just fine, life is a circle nothing is ever lost forever.

 

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Posted : 13th January 2021 1:44 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Dear @cj1974

Thank you for your post and also for taking the bold step to reach out for advice. I am also sorry to hear about you loss, which is always a difficult situation.  It is crucial that you get support around this and i would encourage you if you can to make contact with our helpline or live chat to speak with an adviser who will be able to signpost and also advise you around the gambling issue. 

The helpline is available 24/7 and the contact number is 0808 8020 133. We look forward to hearing from you.

 

Regards 

Forum Admin

 

 

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Posted : 13th January 2021 5:53 am
Chris.UK
(@chris-uk)

@cj1974 I disagree with the postee above, you don't always have to have regrets, there are ways to put the past to bed and move forward with life.

Yes you could have bought a house and who is to say you still can't?

Today is the day that matters. What are you going to do today? Every one on here who is free from a bet has their life improved in some way. The days and weeks and money and happiness do add up but the start with doing something today. 

You don't mention what type of gambling you do but there are blocks for all types. Maybe today put a block in place or call the gamcare advisers? Maybe tell someone close to you or cancel your bank card? If you do nothing, nothing will change, do something and there is hope.

I'd be interested to know what you do.

Chris.

 

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Posted : 13th January 2021 8:42 am
Chris100
(@chris100)

Hi mate I’ve stopped many times got to 100 days and so on I’m currently on day 10 

It has to come from you it has to come from inside we must want change all the hurt 

all the debt won’t go overl night I know now I have another 2 years of paying 400 month debt we have to deal with it give your wages to someone and let them send you some each week you can do it 

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Posted : 13th January 2021 10:03 am
thejollyman88
(@thejollyman88)

its good to see you have recognised the problem and what it’s doing to you so why cause yourself more pain? Don’t think that you’ll hit the big win on your next pay day and get sucked into depositing all of your hard earned money.

Put every block in place to prevent you from gambling, I think a lot of people turn here when they’ve hit rock bottom and when they get a bit of money the cycle repeats, don’t let that be you. Own the problem and beat it.

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Posted : 13th January 2021 1:49 pm
Lisa72
(@lisa72)

I know that desperate feeling so well. I lost my mother in 2011 and my father two years ago and have since then gambled away their life savings, my inheritance and safety for days to come. I am not proud of myself but I try to let go of the feeling of shame and remember that the best way to make up for it is to make a change and stay gambling free. That would have made my parents proud. So I decided to quit. I am now 27 days gamble free and I really try to work hard on changing some of my behaviours. I read a lot of GA literature, blogs, forums and I keep journal as often as I can. 

I have the Swedish version of Gamstop in place but I still have access to my money. However what is left of it is locked into a savings account that I can not easily access. I think barriers are awesome but I also know that without a change in behaviour it will only be a matter of days, months or years before I relapse. 

I need to take one day at a time. Worries fuels my addiction. My desire to control things and people as well. I have to start doing things and also finish them as planned. I need to get more sleep and to work enough and not too much. I must accept that everyone does not like me and that it is okay. I need exercise and I need to start being more active. I need to feel proud of myself even when it comes to small things. I work the 12 steps and I am again on step 4 where I make this moral inventory of myself. I try to really be open and honest to myself and I have put down a few areas to start working with, with small and larger steps to tick off. 

I really recommend GA literature and meetings even though I still have not attended any online meeting myself yet. I prefer physical meetings but I may have to try digital ones soon. 

Wish you the best and that you are soon ready to start climbing up again. Small steps and new insights 💫

 

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Posted : 13th January 2021 3:31 pm
X M
 X M
(@x-m)

I completely understand. I lost my Dad in 2013 and most of the money I got was gambled away. It's sickening and it's disgusting. But it's an illness. And also, you can control it. 

My advice would be to tell someone you know. Or some people. Coming on here is massive but tell people and explain to them what's happened. Don't have access to money. Get someone else to control your finances. It's really difficult I know but these steps will help you. Because if you are working and you carry on like this and lose your wages you are going to feel a lot worse and believe me-you WILL LOSE. The only way to win at gambling is to stop doing it. 

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Posted : 13th January 2021 8:11 pm
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