Deciding to give up reluctantly.

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Lifeisstrange
(@lifeisstrange)
Posts: 17
Topic starter
 

For me gambling is ingrained upon me. It's been a part of my life for over 20 years. I only bet on the horses. I've done well over the years, but recently I chucked a few thousand away chasing without success. I got extremely close to clawing it back on a number of occasions, but it didn't materialize. 

I believe I could get back on top if I stuck with it and I realise that is a dangerous thought process. I've always managed it in the past and I am showing a profit overall, but I will admit I'm very angry about the latest f***k up and I completely lost my discipline. I would have days where I had 7 horses written down and 5 would win, but I would back the 2 losers. It was crazy the amount of times fate dealt me an unbelievably unlucky hand. You couldn't make it up at times and I lost my cool, but I suppose every gambler has a story like that!

I've gambled thousands on racing over the years and tried to evolve myself into a gambling machine, but you lose your stomach for it over time. Nothing is ever certain.

The decision to give up is based on the anxiety and preoccupation it creates within my body. I have given up before and I miss the racing, but it takes the anxiety and stress away. I usually find depression can kick in without the fantasy of the racing and the form studying.

I give up, I am really positive, do lots of activities and try and apply myself but a low feeling starts to creep in.

I could psychoanalyze myself and come up with the usual clichés, but I can't be bothered.

I read other peoples stories on here and it saddens me to hear peoples heartbreak. I think the fantasy drives people initially because it creates a thrill and an escapism, but losses can compound emotional frailties and spiral.

The truth is we can all give up, get our lives in order, live a perfectly responsible life and wither away into old age, but it doesn't remove the fear of the unknown. 

For me the scariest concept is eternity and the potential for eternal nothingness. I can't deal with that concept. 

A life free from gambling provides a freedom within and removes an ever present worry of financial uncertainty, which is why I'm trying hard to move on, so I can open my mind to other thoughts and feelings, which are more meaningful.

Am I confident I can leave racing behind for good? The answer is no. I will try, but we are all ticking time bombs.

I want to feel truly spiritually enlightened and have a complete inner peace, but sometimes I think too deeply about things and it petrifies me....

 

 

 
Posted : 18th July 2021 12:42 am
(@ruthi15)
Posts: 2
 

I can relate to everything you have said and I have been gambling for over 40 years since aged 11 but I have come to a point like you are that I want inner peace and find the real me I can’t imagine not gambling as it is all I have ever known but I want change so badly it aches I know I can do it life will be different now but if I don’t go for it now I will be sitting in the nursing home never finding who I was and what I can do to reach my full potential x

 
Posted : 18th July 2021 6:07 am
(@aliwonton1)
Posts: 106
 

I have been gambling for 22-23 years. I can say for sure it’s been a whirlwind. If you continue the way your going you will make yourself ill and your addiction will get worse mine did. When I was younger I would never fall into that trap. How wrong could I be. Stop now before it gets out of control. Stay strong, keep busy and you won’t have time to think about it. 756 horses running yesterday that tells you it all. What chance dose the average person.

This post was modified 3 years ago by aliwonton1
 
Posted : 18th July 2021 11:17 am

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