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Decided to stop gambling

 
Keefyboy
(@keefyboy)

Hello newbie here, I am in a wheelchair can't walk, so can't do gym - or any physical exercise, 49 so employment is virtually impossible- haven't work since losing my job 10 years ago gross misconduct borrowed £27 but in truth gambling probably the reason. Bookies is my social life - my wife is terminally ill - gambling a release. I used to bet thousands with my wife's  debit cards and my personal loans (that will be paid when I am 97!) A solicitor is managing both our monies now - so bills get paid and food is brought. I have £250 disabiliy money per month.  I spend that in one day then skint rest of the month - I am a compulsive gambler I have decided to stop- my first big day when benefit arrives next Tuesday. Thing is I have no alternatives for excitement -have self excluded for a year before - it was so isolating, boring and depressing - yes I tried meditation as well. I need a replacement that is not an addictive behaviour. Sorry for my rambling,. Thanks for reading

This topic was modified 2 months ago by Keefyboy
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Topic starter Posted : 4th December 2021 11:40 pm
RouletteRegret
(@rouletteregret)

Good Morning KeefyBoy,

I have read your post and I am so sorry for the situation that you and your wife find yourselves in. 

I couldn’t possibly understand how it feels to be in your situation so I won’t even attempt to offer alternative ideas to gambling. What I will say is that gambling is bad for you and your home life and is not making your situation any better. You need money more than you need the thrill of gambling. You can’t be penniless for 29 days in every month. I don’t know the answer to your problem but I hope someone else can do a better job than me in offering help.

I sincerely hope things improve for you and your wife. You both deserve far better.

RR

ReplyQuote
Posted : 5th December 2021 9:16 am
Keefyboy
(@keefyboy)

Thanks for your kind words RR

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 5th December 2021 9:22 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)

Hello Keefyboy and Welcome to the forum. 

I'm going to jump right in and say that gambling is not the answer to your worries in life and the bookies is a false environment not a social life. 

This may seem like an obvious statement but you need abstention and blocks for your mind to see a better way. 

I understand believe me. I used to take my giro and gamble it away in an hour or so. My life was an arcade with a grumpy disintetested attendant. Just me stood in there early in the morning like the addict I was. Daren't say anything if the machine was faulty as she would have grumbled, shrugged like nothing could be done and turned the machine off...... memories like that make me shudder now.

The answers are within you to seek further help to abstain and protect your money. Many people dont have much money after paying the bills but gambling is not there as an income or top up scheme.

It becomes addictive and affects people at all earning and skill levels.

My gambling was a drug craving but ultimately a cry for help. I was lonely depressed and lost. Gambling did nothing postive for me took all my money and turned me into a J****E for it

Its so hard to give you the words you need to hear. Clearly your money is better in your pocket and there are better things for you to be doing

Recovery is finding yourself and actually learning to enjoy the simple pleasures in life again.

To an addict that can sound patronising...... your addiction will be talking to you like Joydivider doesnt know your troubles. your addiction wants you to wallow in self pity so you crave its drug for another fix

Again gambling is not the answer. I hope you will use the forum and follow the trusted advice to seek help

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

This post was modified 2 months ago by Joydivider
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Posted : 6th December 2021 1:42 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hello Keefyboy

First of all, so sorry to hear about your wife's illness. It sounds like neither of you have it easy. Losing all your disability money each month cannot make it any easier for you both. It's good that you've taken this decision to stop. We understand it is a big adjustment especially if the betting shops have been a big part of your life. 

You'd be very welcome to contact our helpline on 0808 8020 133 or on livechat. We're here 24/7. If you're in England, Scotland or Wales we can look at ways to ban yourself from the betting shops and potentially offer further regular support to help you stick to your goals. Your wife is also welcome to contact us - we'd keep any calls or chats from her separate from contacts you make so you can each have space to talk about how you feel. 

Again, well done on making this decision. Do keep updating us, keep posting and reading the forum for inspiration and support.

Best wishes,

Deirdre
Forum Admin

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Posted : 6th December 2021 10:18 am
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