Hi all I have been hanging around for a few months now but this is my first time posting .
it is actually the first time I feel human in a long time . I am only 18 days gamble free but I feel really positive . This time I will do this . Have all exclusions and blocks in place . I even went to speak to someone today to speak about my debt which is a big step for me .
Playing online slots had taken over my life . Spending money I had for food and bills and having nothing . Having the kids asking to go to the cinema and no money to take them. I couldn’t see a way out I went to the verge I thought about ending it all . I knew then it was time to stop . Sad that it has to go that far before you realise .
taking each day as it comes . But i can do this . I will pay all the money I owe and get my life back . And enjoy my kids to the fullest because that is what life is about not wasting time chasing a dream of winning big and losing everything . Life is too short x
Good outlook. Stick around it helps.
Good luck
Hi
Just for today I will not gamble setting up boundaries to not hurt myself any more.
For me the recovery was very slow baby steps, just for today only.
My talking about my emotionally vulnerability was the beginning of my new found strength and a much healthier way of living.
My addiction and obsessions was a form of escape from people life and situations when I was emotionally vulnerable.
Being accountable to myself helped me be honest with myself.
I want to be free of all fears today.
I want to be able to trust myself once more.
The money was the fuel for my addiction and by handing over finances helped me in many ways.
By abstaining from one addiction did not stop me trying to escape in other ways to another addiction or obsessions.
Yet by attending meetings I would start to relate to other people, I would be able to articulate my feelings and my emotions, I would be able to see in myself both healthy and unhealthy habits.
In time I would heal the hurt inner child in me.
In time I would be able to live life with out fear and self doubt any more.
The recovery program helped me understand what my emotional triggers were.
The recovery program helped me learn how to interact with people rather than react in unhealthy ways.
I am a non religious person and understand that if I can do a healthy recovery any one can.
I am a healthy spiritual person yet I am a non religious person.
My conscience is spiritual based, and I am able to interact with people today in healthy ways rather than react in unhealthy ways today.
My unhealthy reactions in anger indicated to me that my hurt inner child was not healed.
The recovery program helped me heal in so many ways I did not think was possible.
Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.
Love and peace to every one
Dave L
AKA
Dave of Beckenham
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