Day 6 of freedom. Friday night can be testing

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(@ameliasgran)
Posts: 45
Topic starter
 

Hi, so today is day 6 of no gambling, even though I have so much debt and have spent our savings I have slept well for 3 nights knowing this is as bad as it gets.  Keep checking my debt and savings plan, knowing in December if I don’t gamble I will be financially so much more secure.  I am so lucky I have a good job and my husband has a good income.  I can never tell him the mess I made of everything and will always be trying to make up the £30k I lost.  I know if I am extremely careful eventually I can put some of it back into our savings over a long period of time.  But I am trying and planning.  I do without stuff and savings grow.  Friday night we have wine, that’s going to create temptation but I am staying strong, staying focussed and praying.  I still hate myself and live in fear of being found out but I think that’s my burden to bare.

 
Posted : 10th July 2020 2:55 pm
Frogman
(@frogman)
Posts: 79
 

Hi Amelia,

Well done for not gambling. I am on day 13 too and I know what you mean about the good nights sleep 🙂 . Although I know it’s important to keep track of your debts, please don’t pressure yourself too much as this has the potential to drag you back to see if you can win some of it back.  It certainly kept dragging me back. Same as me, no idea where I would be if not for good income. At 36 with two kids, I am investing in a new xbox one to keep me occupied when the kids are asleep, this is the period I go on looking for what’s missing in my life - gambling. Madness 

 
Posted : 10th July 2020 3:46 pm
(@kevthekev40)
Posts: 414
 

I'm so sorry to hear your loss 

I'm glad your managing to sleep better as we all know sleep is the most important thing for our mental health. I hear what YOU say about not being able to tell your partner but will this not put pressure on you to make the money back and draw you into gambling again? I know it's really hard to tell anyone especially your partner as you have all the ways that they will react, I feel for you and understand why you don't want to let it out, but just remember we all make mistakes plus you've done amazing going 6days without gambling. I wish you all the best and hope to hear how your doing as time goes by just taking it one day at a time 

 
Posted : 10th July 2020 3:56 pm
(@ameliasgran)
Posts: 45
Topic starter
 

Hi,

 

do you think it’s better to save or pay off debts.  I keep obsessing about my debts which I am paying but feel like I want them gone, but I also know I need to keep adding to my savings to get my life stable.  I am paying chunks off my cards, I think if they go I will feel free but then worry I won’t have savings.  I realise they have interest on them and financially it’s better to clear them, but psychologically I am scared of having no money in the bank.  Hope that makes sense.  It’s another obsession 

 
Posted : 11th July 2020 9:00 am
(@charlieboy)
Posts: 1013
 

Hi. A financial adviser would tell you to pay off anything that is accruing interest. Is it credit card debt ? If it is explore the option of transferring to an interest free offer on a lot of cards at the moment, that could allow you to do both paying debt and saving. I understand where you are coming from but I would say paying debt has to be a priority

 
Posted : 11th July 2020 9:56 am

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