This is incredibly tough for me, but I am finally able to come to terms with this.
I am an addict.
I denied that notion for so long and hid it from everyone, even my partner who has been nothing but fantastic to me.
For context I'm 24 years old and have been gambling since I was legally able to. At first I was fine and enjoyed it in moderation. But a previous relationship and horror experience at an old employer, gambling became my one comfort. I would easily lose hundreds of pounds a day and I would bury my head in the sand pretending it would go away. Of course that was never going to be the case.
I have lied and deceived everyone for a long time and I am disgusted with myself for it, the worst part is I'm in the process of applying for a mortgage and I know the lender will immediately have alarm bells ringing looking at my statements.
Those close to me to their credit have said they will support me despite all of this, even if the house purchase falls through. I am so grateful for this.
My last gambling transaction was on April 5th but I do still struggle with the mental side of this. I've taken the steps to register with GAMSTOP, and block gambling transactions directly from my bank.
It is still such a struggle in these early stages. Does it get any better/easier?
Thanks for reading, I hope everyone is doing well 🙂
Welcome to the forum and well done for reaching out. I can see this was a really big thing for you to do and i am sure you will get some great support from others here.
From what you have said you are able to reflect on why you started gambling. You mentioned a previous relationship and a horror experience, that gambling felt like a comfort to you. I am sure there are many people on this forum who can relate to that. It's good to hear you have put some blocks in place to protect yourself from gambling in the future. I wonder if you might like to give our advisers a call and talk this through some more. They can also offer you free one to one support if you would be interested. To get in touch you can use our live chat or you can call on 0800 8020 133, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Well done for nearly being 1 month gamble free. That is a great achievement. Please do carry on using our forum, you are not alone in this.
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