The most difficult day of my life has arrived, attempting to explain to my loved ones what a mess I have made of my life through gambling.
Heartbreaking to have let down the people closest to me in such a spectacular way, when they have been the best parents I could ever have wished for and given me every chance in life to succeed through their love and support.
I hope I will be able to somehow explain how gambling affects the brain to the point of taking over and removing all rationality, but I think it will be very hard for them to understand, and there will be no easy answer to any of the questions they might have.
My finances are in a very bad way of course, with several loans taken out to fuel the habit, but the damage done to these relationships will hurt me immeasurably more than the money lost.
As for the gambling, I have at least Gamstopped for the maximum period, having lost pretty much the last of what little I had left overnight. This is the end of the road as far as the gambling goes, and I will put whatever blocks in place are needed to ensure this. It simply has to be.
Time to face up to the uncomfortable reality of what my life has become, something that gambling distracts you from for so long until the money finally dries up and all you are left with heaps of regret and shame and literally nothing else.
Whatever happens today when I tell my family, I know this forum will be absolutely essential if I am going to beat this and come out the other side. Being free of judgement and able to talk so candidly about this with people who know exactly how powerful this addiction can be will be so important, so I will try to post updates as regularly as I can.
Day 1. Feeling mentally drained, physically sick and at rock bottom. But also the tiniest bit of hope restored that I had the courage to Gamstop once and for all, to put an end to the madness.
Well done!
Its the best decision of your life - come back and tell us how things went!
matt692
So sorry to read that you're feeling rock bottom but there are lots of positives in your post so I just want to say well done for sharing. I appreciate how difficult it is to tell your family and I hope they will support you with your journey ahead. Like you said, no one here is judgemental and I really hope you keep posting and sharing your progress. It does take courage to contact us but you have done it now so I hope you we are able to continue supporting you. Please do not forget the netline and helpline is open from 8am - midnight, seven days a week if you need to talk.
Take care and I| wish you the very best. Like Matt said, come back and tell us how things are going.
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