Advice please

Hello Goldem10

Congratulations on 9 months gamble free. Sorry you're finding GA meetings unsettling. It would be good to hear from other forum users about their experiences of GA. But from our experience we hear lots of stories from people who stopped working on their recovery because they'd been gamble free for a time, and then relapse.

If you decide that GA isn't for you, there are alternatives. For example, GamCare offers free 1:1 treatment. You can find out more at our website: https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/our-treatment-offer/ or contact us on the HelpLine 0808 8020 133, or chat to us on the NetLine. 

Hopefully forum users will be along to chip in with their experiences of Gamblers Anonymous.

Keep posting,

Forum Admin

Hi Goldem 

I can't offer any advice on GA as I've never attended , many on here swear by it but I know many others either don't feel the need or maybe it's just not for some . 

9 months gamble free is something you should be very proud of as it takes courage and determination to get through those early months .

I f something's causing you sleepless nights and anxiety and once you stop it gets better then maybe that's your way forward for now at least ? , the whole point of recovery is to remain gamble free and to move forward in a healthy and different way than the one we were once on . 

There's no right and wrong way to do this as it's really bespoke and in my opinion if it's not broke don't fix it ?. 

I've been here gamble free for almost 4 years now and kind of dealt with it all as I saw fit , it's served me well in that time , so I'd be inclined to go with your gut instinct on this as there's always the choice to return to GA or even look at switching to a different meeting should you feel the need :)).

Wishing you well for now 

Alan 

You've had both sides of the coin there Goldem and it's your choice as always what you do , as I said I'm not really at liberty to discuss the rights and wrongs of GA just to say " How it's been for me " , I've as stated never felt the need as it's a little like " Painting by numbers " for me and I'm a bit of a " Chuck the paint on the canvass and see what happens " kinda guy . 

You know you, like I know me and we both know what were capable of and I'm sure you'll make the right decision as you figure that out , as admin have said there's a multitude of different support options out there and the worlds your limpet :)) . 

Stay well and keep safe  :)) 

Hi

Some times meeting have not moved on.

Talking about gambling money lost or just being in action.

Some people will find this kind of story sharing not healthy.

For me I found meeting which was very healthy.

They gave their were able to give therapy on how to find emotional resolved for emotional triggers today.

It is when we give up talking about being in action or money lost we have moved on from living in the past.

The healthy people in the recovery program encouraged me to only mix with like minded recovery motivated people.

Sadly some people will assume that time off gambling is recovery.

Sadly time abstained did not mean to me that a person was in a healing process or healing their hurt inner child.

The recovery program is anon religious healing program.

I am more of a spiritual person and understand that my conscience is based up on spiritual values.

Yet I am a non religious person.

Why was I able to be some what successful, what was the secret, how come my inner child is healed right down to when I was seven years of age.

When I peeled back the onion how much suppressed memories came out, did I cry a lot, by feeling the pains of my past do I live in the trauma of m past.

Yes for sure, yet I fully understood that any addiction or obsession was a from of escaping facing myself and my feelings.

With each break out I found out what my emotional triggers were, as I healed my hurt inner child my unhealthy reactions reduced towards people life and situations I could not change.

Eventually my hurt inner child came out to play, to live a fearless life, to no longer fear failure, to no longer fear emotional intimacy, to no longer fear change, to no longer fear exposing my vulnerability, to no longer fear facing myself, to no longer fear rejection or abandonment.

Understanding serenity helped me understand that I could not help unhealthy people get healthy that was their choice.

Understanding serenity helped me understand that I could not help dysfunctional people get healthy that was their choice.

No one could stop me gambling that was my choice, no one could stop me giving up all unhealthy habits that was my choice.

The recovery program is just a manual which helped me help myself, no one was going to make me take recovery seriously.

Sadly people have taken suicide as a way out of their pains, I was for sure the lowest of the lowest in the recovery program.

My wording I have to indicated that I was a obsessive person, I have to do or I have to do that, no to understand what is a need and what is a want, to change the core of who I am today.

In time I was able to set boundaries for myself, Just for today I will not gamble, that was a biggee, then in time Just for today I will not smoke, Just for today I will not swear, Just for today I will not get drunk, Just for today I will not react in such unhealthy ways.

Do I set boundaries for myself, am I in any way trying to person please, am I being selfish about my recovery, it only worked for me seriously once I valued myself.

For me being in the recovery program was about setting boundaries, every thing came second place to my recovery.

How many meetings did I go to to just abstain, one two three, four meetings a week, when it was cold raining snowing.

How much time and effort was I willing to put on myself.

To understand each of my emotional triggers, when I am emotionally vulnerable to talk about it, to not let things build up fears stress and anxiety with in myself.

There is no one person I idolize in the recovery program, to think that my recovery is the responsibility any one person causes people to think that if they go back to Gambling I will is not true.

Being being in the recovery program it was pointed out that once I discuss things out with often more than one person when I act up on it the results are my responsibility, that is mature person healthy reaction to healthy change, a sponsor should in no way take responsibility for another person success.

So how much time and effect am I willing to put in to my recovery today.

Do I write down my needs each day, do I write down my wants each day, do I write down my goals each day, by doing daily inventory I am becoming more accountable to myself, I am becoming more on living for today only.

By me procrastinating the person I am cheating is myself.

Each time I went back to my addictions or obsessions was a slow learning curve, what was my last emotional trigger.

Being in the recovery program was all about taking slow baby steps daily, some times living for the healthy moment.

The recovery program is not about who is right or wrong, but more about what is healthy and what is unhealthy.

For me it is taking an unhealthy habit and exchanging in to a healthy habit.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Counselling or anythng is always difficult, it own't be easy.

Why is it unsettling? You have to deal with it face on, like with most forms of trauma and addiction, it is easier to just keep it buried away, but that won't fix things. 

If the setting isn't right maybe explore another avenue, but don't give up on tackling the ROOT of your addiction.