Admitting I have a problem

Some tips, even if you win back the 10 grand, you will have the urge to gamble again because winning gives confidence. In the gambling world however, odds are against you.. long term you will be down. The amount you put in or return is always going to be less than 100% of what you put in.. You need to get rid of the urge or at-least reduce it so it doesn't occupy your mind, it is more important than the money. 

A good idea would be to ask your bank to block gambling transactions. This can be done on their website/app. For your debt, there is a lot of information in the finance and debt management on this website. you can call/live chat with them.

Well done on realizing what you have done, and lets start to take proper steps to tackle your current problems.

Well done on realizing you have a problem, I never really really gambled up until about 2 years ago, started of the odd £10 here and there! Last year however I started putting more in and when I’d lost quite a bit I would close my account!!!then open a new one somewhere else!  Fast forward to around oct 2020 and I had a lot of issues going on and looked at gambling as an escapism!!! I lost a substantial amount of money in the last 6 months!!! Every time trying to win back my loses, I never ever thought I had a problem!!! Clearly I did!!

I decided one day that was it, I had to cut my loses and move forward, I signed up to GamStop and installed Gamban! I also put gambling blockers on my bank accounts now too!!!

I still think about the money I lost and it makes me feel sick!!!

but I can now say I have been gamble free for 4/5 weeks and I’m starting to save again!

ive done diy round the house, de cluttered painted etc, anything that takes up the time you would usually spend gambling!!

I really do hope you manage beat the urges and manage to tackle this as it’s a horrible feeling!

good luck

jo

Hiya... I echo much of what has already been. On a practical level, register with gamstop for 5 years, put Gamban on devices that you gamble from and if available get bank to block gambling transactions. These measures should STOP you gambling online.

You can't "remove the urge" but you can "not act upon them". Urges do pass. Your not gonna win the money back and even if you do, you will probably carry on, if not the same day, then sometime soon. Thats been my experience anyway.

As for debts ring them up. Tell them you have a gambling problem. They will freeze interest and you will enter into a payment plan that you can afford, if you can afford anything at all. You won't have a problem with mainstream creditors. They are required by law to be supportive. Your credit rating will of course be affected. But is that a bad thing?? It will stop you getting more credit. You don't need access to more credit for the forseeable.

Your biggest challenge will be telling your partner, but if you really want to stay stopped its gotta be done. I have no wisdom here as i don't have a partner. In general though people always appreciate when one is open and honest, even when they don't like what they are hearing.

All the best. keep reading and posting.

Hey Nutty2,

I can relate to a lot of what you've said above. Like you I got into a lot of debt and I hid it from my partner for years. I probably was 4/5 years hiding that debt from her and I would constantly "move" payments around, take out more credit, borrow from friends etc to hide the situation from her. It was exhausting, absolutely exhausting. I got myself into even more debt over that time as I was spending money we didn't have on cars, holidays, things for the house etc as my thought process was if I say we have enough, she'll never think I'm in debt. But obviously I was borrowing all this money as I didn't have it! Like you I didn't have the courage to tell my partner and the fear of not knowing what she would say (and what everyone else would say) when it all broke kept me acting in this irrational manner. She finally found out and it was bad. It was very, very bad. But thankfully she stuck by me and I showed her that I wanted to change by stopping spending money on gambling, being more honest with her, addressing character flaws etc etc. I'm 20 months into recovery now and I WOULD NOT be in the position I am now if my partner did not know of my problems. Just as an example I needed to take a consolidation loan of close to 15K to pay off credit cards, over drafts, money lenders, cashback loans you name it. If she didn't know of my debts, I would not have been able to apply for that loan and the repayments on each would have been too much and more debt would have been heading my way. But even as I say this to you, if I could have hid it from her for another 4/5 years I would have, because I was a coward and it would have enabled me to remain gambling and push my problems down the road like I always did. So I'm basically saying you should tell your partner, face the music and after the initial rawness of it all, I promise it will get better. I didn't have the courage to do that, but I'm hoping you will.

Cheers, Happy