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Absolutely destroyed my bankroll in 10 minutes  

 
Ravloki
(@ravloki)

I am absolutely devastated. We've all heard how it goes, but this time I have no idea how I went so high so fast.

I recently became unemployed and decided to bet on Roulette. I have made over £XX doing this all year and felt it was a decent top up. Had many scares in the past. I'd start with a £XX spin, if it landed great, if not, £XX spin and phew it hits.

 

This time, in my car, for 10 minutes, it never happened. I knew I would be caught out one day and it had come. I am an absolute moron for carrying on how I did.

 

Same bet, £XX, didn't win. Deposited £XX, didn't come in, deposited £XX, didn't come in, deposited another £XX ... Didn't come in.

I have just lost £5500 in about 10 minutes. My demeanor change suddenly and I am sick. I live alone with a mortgage, without a job, and I just threw half my entire bank out the window in 10 minutes.

I have to stop, it was always going to catch up. I'm in deep trouble and I am afraid. I've told myself if I ever lost my home I will take my own life out of shame. £5500 in 10 minutes on nothing, I am an absolute idiot and worthless of anything.

This topic was modified 1 month ago by Forum admin
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Posted : 9th August 2020 2:11 am
Stace🌹
(@stace)

Ok, take a step back and gather your thoughts. You've said you've just thrown away HALF your entire bank out the window. So not all. And right now I can imagine your thinking what if I try again, spend abit more, I will win this time and get it all back ,but you won't and before you know it ,your whole bank will be empty. So please please reach out , phone the helpline or go on the netline on here, there both 24 hours and talk to someone. Your not an idiot, it's an illness. Whilst your feeling how you are now, that sick gut wrenching feeling, sign up to gamstop and install gamban, also as soon as you can put a gambling block on your bank card. 

You still have funds, yes youve lost half but at least you still have half so please don't be tempted to gamble that too.

Speak to an advisor and get proper support. 

All the best, Stace 

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Posted : 9th August 2020 4:57 am
Ravloki
(@ravloki)

Thank you. I am worried because I recently became unemployed 2 weeks ago and I have a mortgage and live on my own. I have £6000 left to my name. I am very concerned and definitely was the ultimate lesson. I knew I was always going to get caught, everytime I win a quick £250 I'd come back a week later and spiral, but this time it went against back to back and lost £5500 while waiting for a friend in my car. I am sick and worried. If I lose my house it's over for me.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 9th August 2020 10:37 am
EmmaLF
(@emmalf)

Step back and breathe for a moment.

You've come on here so you must want the help badly. Stace is right Gamstop is the way to go, reach out to every bit of help you can get, call here, these guys offer counselling, brilliant advice and will help you if you want to keep your money, your home and most importantly your life.

As a Gamblers Girlfriend though i can only offer support but not from a addicts perspective. When i found out about my boyfriends demons i was heartbroken but still needed to help him. He handed all control of his money to me, i know you've said you live alone so it's harder but are there family and friends who can help you? We may not know how to deal with this but if we love you we have to help you especially if you tell them how you are even considering suicide. My Boyfriend did cry out as he reached this point himself but we pulled him back from the brink and sourced the help that we both needed to fight this addiction. Please if you have people you can trust go to them now, use today as a starting point of the fight for life back. 

Make the call to Gamcare 

Confide in a loved one if possible

Give that someone you trust the responsibilty of managing your money

Source your closest GA group and contact them as they offer support even with COVID conditions

Install Gamstop

Phone your Dr tomorrow if you are feeling so low, medication can help if you are depressed

Forget what you have lost, it's gone, there's no amount of beating yourself up that will change this, flip it to you still have money.

I hope you get some help, please reach out even further, there is no shame in asking for help, i'm so glad my boyfriend did.

You take care of yourself.

Sending strength to you xx

 

This post was modified 1 month ago by EmmaLF
ReplyQuote
Posted : 9th August 2020 11:34 am
Ravloki
(@ravloki)

I am extremely hurt but I am trying to remain calm. I have totalled all the money I have left and have seen how many months I have left until I am bankrupt.

The thing is I am supposed to be the golden child, the person who got his own house, got a decent job, got a decent girlfriend. I have lost two the past few weeks and I fear I will lose the house within a matter of 6 months.

I am supposed to fund a business venture of £3000 next week. To think I chucked away much more than this is unbearable. What's more, I have a massive urge to use the rest of money and double or quits it. I hate myself, I am a failure, and I feel I will do this. The urge is still there despite hitting rock bottom. Just because I have a bit of money left to use on another spin just to get it all back and return my feelings back to normality. 

I am not looking forward to the next few weeks. I am going to be a state and no one is going to want to be around me. I can't get the £5500 I lost out of my mind. It's just how quick it was. Wish I could turn back time and not do it, but I think I believe that even if I won the £250 yesterday I'd have been back a week later to go through the same situation.

A small part of me is glad I got stung yesterday. It's made me realise that my little strategy is not an income stream, it's just pure luck. I've kind of got it in my head that over the year I've won about £3000 gambling, losing £5500 in 10 minutes is a loss of £2500 overall and I just opened a credit card 0% for £2200. So that's kind of got my head a little straight.

I am concerned though. I think I have about 3 months left of money. I can no longer be the generous person dishing out drinks and so on. I require a massive behavioural change and I am hoping this severe loss will help me do it.

I can't help but look around the house and compare the £5500 to what I could have done differently with it. It's a year's worth of mortgage, it's all the sofas and credit cards paid off. Instead, those still remain due and I am still £5500 in the hole. It's literally over half of my entire funds, which I've been saving for this business.

I left my job a few weeks ago, I am now on Universal Credit and I have a mortgage. This loss is killing me, I am an absolute idiot for continuously testing my luck with Roulette. I was going to get stung heavily at some point, I always knew it, I just wish that level of loss was much lower than what it took.

I mean for christ sake, a £2000 spin on a colour? Having to put an OTP number just to gamble with it. I would never had dreamed of doing such a ridiculous action. I can't get it out of my head that the next spin hit, and the previous spin before it did. Utter terrible luck and I deserved to have lost it.

I am hoping I get there. I am going to keep it a secret as it's my money and I still have about £6000 left to my name. I am hoping I can find something quickly and return to work and start building again.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 9th August 2020 2:54 pm
EmmaLF
(@emmalf)

My boyfriend always says you've not lost enough if you're not ready to give up, he's in a massive amount of debt which he is paying back every penny. At the beginning of this i made himself homeless for a few nights (it was my house he was living in) and that scared him enough to make him stop, he'd lost everything, he had no family only me. Don't put yourself in a similar position, put the blockers in now or you're at serious risk of losing everything you've clearly worked hard for. Protect yourself or let others help protect you.

 

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Posted : 9th August 2020 3:08 pm
Frankiewx
(@frankiewx)

You’re certainly not an idiot this is an addiction! I’ve been gambling on credit cards so in a serious amount of debt that’s more than my years salary! With money in your bank and frugal spending you’ll get through. Put the blocks on your phone now and I’ve even found not having my phone where I can see it helps! Please don’t chase that loss....what’s done is done and don’t beat yourself up! This site helps and just reach out! I filled out the gamcare questionnaire and my problem warrants cbt as it’s a behaviour I need help changing! Look at some of the posts....lots of people have gone, and are still going through, the same thing and reading successes make me feel I can do it too! We both can! X

ReplyQuote
Posted : 9th August 2020 4:34 pm
MythDunk
(@mythdunk)

Your behavior was idiotic and worthless. 

However, the fact that you have had the sense to join the forum is a clear indication that 'that' person who lost those thousands in 1o minutes is not who you really are.

You are not that person who for ten frantic minutes lost complete control over their logical thinking. 

Many of us on here fully recognize that zone you were in where the most important thing in the world was recovering the initial loss. I remember an occasion where my initial loss was £5 and I got into such a mess that I ended up risking a few thousand to get my £5 back. And it worked, and I felt so relieved I'd got my £5 back again. I risked over £2,000 to win my fiver back and felt so happy I had done it!!! This is craziness and we've all been there my friend.

So, we know that you're not a worthless person but you now need to begin the process of re-educating yourself that you are not 'that' person. You can start by taking all the practical measures required to block as many sites as you previously used to gamble. At all costs you must make sure that your remaining £6,000 does not go to the bookies or online casinos. 

I realize things look very dark right now but please understand you can and will get through this phase of your life but it requires some effort and self control on your part. 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th August 2020 11:20 am
S.A
 S.A
(@s-687)

Hiya... sorry to hear what has happened. Iv'e been an addicted gambler for 25 years, so I can relate to your thoughts.

I will get to the point... you do seem to be setting yourself up for another fall. Dig deep my friend. Don't catastrophise everything. Just take life each day as it comes. Today you have a roof aver your head and food in your stomach and if you don't gamble today you can congratulate yourself for having had another good day. The money you gambled last week, last month, last year is gone... forget it....

Given a little time, you will calm down and then be able to get a better perspective on your situation. Of course none of this easy and am not an advert for doing what i say, but is it nonetheless advice that can help... and the thing is whilst you have that remaining money sitting there winking at you, then its gonna be double hard. You need some barriers.... gamstop, block gambling transactions through your bank... anything, something just to stop you acvting on impulse.

All the best... S.A

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th August 2020 11:48 am
maxmaher
(@maxmaher)

yea it happens and it will happen again and again until you are reduced to rock bottom

i did 200 in about 4 hours 2 weeks ago it would of been more therapeutic to have just burnt that money 

thankfully i have only lost £30 since then and banned myself from the site i dont think i can access any online casinos in the UK anymore which is great news 

6 grands a lot of money but at least you have 6 grand left right ? 

a lot more than most people have just ban yourself and get on with your life 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10th August 2020 2:08 pm
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