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16 years to long  

 
stace123
(@stace123)

hi new here been gambling sinse i was 18 im now 34 nearly 35 i dont have a great job and spend all my money on gambling then i lend money off family for essentials then wen i get money i pay it bck and spend the rest on gambling this is what happens every week when i gamble i enjoy the winning spins, when i withdraw i am not happy because them winning spins are over thats all im addicted to im not addicted to the money so its a lose lose for me and every one else who has this evil disease i have completly had enuff of not having money ever on sunday i won £400 ffrom a deposit of £10 i withdrew it i owed my mum £200 or probably would of spent the lot i was not happy i withdrew it and all i could think about was i could of had so many more winning spin im such a loser anyway i havnt gambled sinse sunday i downloaded gamban i think its called but i realised today i have ny mothers laptop so i could go on there and that has made my urges so strong to gamble today but i havnt upto now and this is the first time in years i have money in my account with money due to go in tmorow as you can tell im not proud that i havnt gambled because i rlly want to so nothing to be proud of so thats a short story about my life im not hopefull that i wont gamble because i probably will over the coming weeks thats just how it is no matter what you do block this block that you can always find a way and i will coz im a loser also nobody in the world knows i gamble i would rather die than tell any one and i couldnt call gambleing help line the thought of saying im a gambler out loud is just to shameful i deserve everything i get i deserve to lose all my money i deserve my c**P job i dont deserve a good life  i dont deserve a partner iv been single for 2 years after i left my girlfriend for no aparent reason but thats me self destructive 

This topic was modified 4 weeks ago 4 times by stace123
Quote
Posted : 14th April 2021 7:08 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Welcome to the Forum.

Its really positive that you’ve identified that you are no longer enjoying gambling and that regardless of whether you win or lose you continue to gamble. It does sound like a really good time for you to stop and we are here to support you to do so.

If you haven’t already done so, can I recommend you give one of our Advisers a call on either our HelpLine on 0808 8020 133 or our livechat, they will be able to talk you through all the support that is available to help you on your road to recovery

Kind regards 

John

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th April 2021 6:28 am
stace123
(@stace123)

day 5 GF , doing this alone is just exausting 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th April 2021 5:40 pm
Loux
 Loux
(@loux)

Hi well done on day 5, its normal to feel upset about gambling but beating yourself up wont help

Youve said about blocks and no matter what theres always a way ?

There is blocks but they are preventative the main resource is you !  Im 6 months gamble free ive relapsed before its not easy but you have to really want to stop and engage. Okay so you found your mums laptop what have u done its good you didnt gamble but what about next time ?? 

The solution is ask her to password protect so you cannot access. You have to keep working ways to prevent whilst also thinking through consequences before you act.

I did the gamchange course via gamcare that can help change your thinking around gambling.

Theres no magic cure its all about blocks therapy taking actions and being determined

Also you mentioned your doing this alone, you have come on here and talked if you dont feel able to ring helpline you can speak to someone  via netline

Wish you the best

Lou xx 

 

 
ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th April 2021 7:11 pm
stace123
(@stace123)

6 months thats great really is lou well done , at the moment im struggling with the emotions iv been so numb for years gambling so u dont know how to handle them at the moment but speaking to ppl here and on chat is helping me feel less lonely by the day as i keep coming speaking to ppl like you lou with your strenth and ideas so ty for that you mention the gamchange course iv never heard of it but i wil l defo look into it as i really do need a different way of thinking thanx again lou as for the laptop ill pass it her bck tmorow when i see her

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th April 2021 9:55 pm
Loux
 Loux
(@loux)

Good too hear

And if you look under the recovery toolkit tap at the top of the website there is information on thegamchange course. Its not for everyone theres many options for treatments, therapiesr advice people in recovery can take. But its worth looking in to

Lou x

ReplyQuote
Posted : 15th April 2021 10:09 pm
maxmaher
(@maxmaher)

ok so if you look at the period of your life between 18 - 34 what exactly has changed for you in them 16 years ? 

when you boil it down you have effectively traded 16 years of your life for watching reels spin on machines and computers 

nobody stands with a gun to your head telling you to play everyday 

you make the decision within your own mind , each day you wake up you can make the decision wether to keep doing what you have always done or try and build a better future 

gambling is not some incurable disease like HIV ....its an accumalation of lifestyle , mindset and choices 

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 16th April 2021 10:29 am
captain46
(@captain46)

Hi Stace 

Thanks for taking the time to post on my diary and your good wishes and glad you enjoyed some of the poems. Good you find my persistence inspiring, for me I hit myself over the head regularly for how long its taken to attend to this addiction properly! A long journey, I should probably write a book sometime. 

I am 20 years older than you, my options for starting life over are limited in a number of ways, I just have to accept that.

You are only 34, you have a big chance to stop gambling and live a better life. Dont be like me in 20 years time with lots more time and money wasted, relationships broken, many sleepless nights, more debt etc. Do what you need to do - put all the blocks in place to not give yourself the opportunity to gamble. There is a thing called the triangle - money, time, opportunity - take one of the 3 away and you cannot gamble. So get someone else to look after your money or put something in place with the bank to stop gambling transactions, take up your time with new pastimes and hobbies. Get some counselling, I have found that beneficial.

Stace I have lots of much more detailed advice to give and happy to share. Sometimes I feel I can really help others, other days I think well I'm not exactly a role model having failed to stop for so many years. Some days (and I'm not proud of this), I'm too wrapped up in my own challenges to feel I can help others. So I dont really post that much on here, but I'm willing to do so for someone like you if it would help.

Hope to see you on chat soon.

P.s. I feel I have to say that I find the previous post from max maher a bit harsh. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and has their own experiences but to say 'nobody stands with a gun to you head' and 'you make the decision within your own mind' , these are both the exact opposite of my experiences. Gambling for most starts off as a fun hobby and then for a whole multitude of reasons, addiction creeps up and kicks in - you find yourself in the midst of gambling and are HELPLESS to stop, with something akin to a parallel version of yourself taking over, so its not a human brain choice, your are overpowered and end up behaving in a way which is totally alien to your true self and with total disregard for your actions and consequences. When you think back to the gambling episode later, its like watching a movie of someone who looks identical to yourself but isnt really you. So, having a choice and no-one forces you to do it, No, not in my experience and not the sort of comments which someone gains encouragement from, especially not a newcomer.

 

 

 

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 17th April 2021 12:53 pm
stace123
(@stace123)

well captain its easy to say you dont feel like a role model having done the things you have done but i would much rather take advice and inspiration from some one having been in the same position and also with your experiences youve been through as an example with the comment from max , but it is like some one is holding a gun to your head an your explanation of what it is like with the movies i so resonate with at the moments of depositing it is like your watching yourself and theres nothing you can do for some one to say nobodys holding a gun  to your head i find that hard to hear coming from a "gambler " to be honest i dont know maybe he isnt a problem gambler or maybe he hasnt realised it yet , it is like your brain switches off completly  and only switches on when you have no money left , i feel for every one who is a gambler its just such a horrible place to be im 7 days gf today and i feel the only thing ( and i really meen this ) that is getting me through is coming on here every few days or so and talking to people and reading the comments and diarys and chat because nobody knows about my gambling so i have no one to talk to , and about the book captain you would certainly be able to do that , you should think about starting that your writing is already great and it would keep your mind busy , my 7 days gf has been strange i dont want to gamble , im not  happy about the 7 days or proud i dont know why i think maybe its coz im just waiting for tht little devil to wake up and say uve done 7 days see you can control it just have 1 go and i keep sayin that 1 go will end me coz i know it will but will the devil come back stronger thats what im waiting for and im scared , how many days do u have gf captain ? thanx for your kind words look forward to hearing from you again 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18th April 2021 2:42 pm
stace123
(@stace123)

so 7 days GF ... i dont feel like ive achieved anything , i dont want to gamble but im not proud i havnt ! im scared i guess because i dont have urges im scared there just round the corner and boom ! because this is my first time of realising i have a big biggggg problem so never got help before i meen i always said right im quitting everytime i lose everything but it only lasted untill i got paid so i never counted them times this time around i felt completly different and still do im still 100% focused on quiting this s**t ... did any one else feel like this after just a short time being gamble free ? i know its not long but i thought id be proud or atleast feel some kind of good emotion ? feeling confused today .......

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18th April 2021 8:39 pm
captain46
(@captain46)

Hey Stace, feeling confused, eh, you are not alone, we all go through a mix of emotions in trying to stop and our various journeys of recovery. We are all either problem or compulsive gamblers (big difference between the 2, happy to explain), but although we all have some level of problem or addiction, there is a multitude of different things we gamble on, different types, frequencies, amounts, we all have our own life situations and challenges so when you consider all the differences, then we are gonna all experience both a lot of similar feelings trying to stop and recover but we must also accept and face our own challenges.

7 days gamble free IS an achievement - be proud you have done this - and good that you haven't felt any urges yet but do NOT be complacent  - complacency is our biggest enemy - the urges will come and you need to be able to deal with them - by having blocks in place, not having access to money, having routines to follow to bat away the urges before they kick in. Its not easy, sometimes you get an urge and act on it before you know what has happened, I'm sure thats happened to you many times over the years. But this time its got to be different - you want to stop and you are focused so you need to deal with the urges - exercise, listen to music, lock yourself away somewhere, go for a walk, a drive, phone someone ( a friend or gamcare), do anything which is going to help you not act on the urge. 

I know you said you respect me and thats good to hear but I've had many attempts to control my gambling or quit, I've gone periods of time where I thought I was 'sorted' but then fallen off a cliff spectacularly. To say it has been tough is a massive understatement but I've learnt from experiences and dusted myself off and got back on the right road again. I'll always be a compulsive gambler but taking a day at a time and keeping my focus hopefully I'm on track for good this time.

Anyway I wouldn't place any targets on yourself, dont think  - 20 days or 30 days, just take a day at a time and form a new life which doesn't involve gambling and the days will mount up before you know it.

There are many great examples of people on here who have managed to stay strong and gamble free for days/months then years. Some did it at the first attempt after admitting a problem, others took many attempts. I hope this is your time.

 

 

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Posted : 19th April 2021 7:33 pm
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