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#1 Posted on:
Tue, 05/09/2017 - 20:06

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Hi All

I have used this site a few times previously and had some short term success.

I am 46 and have gambled with bookmakers since I was 16, and before that on fruit machines. I have a relatively secure and well paid job and consider myself to be a fairly intelligent person apart from when it comes to gambling.  When I gamble I become obsessed and in those moments nothing else matters. Like many others my losses over the years are likely to be into the hundered of thousands of pounds (that feels crazy when admitting that in writing).

Three weeks ago after more repeated heavy losses racking up more credit card debts I realised I was completely out of control and being extremely selfish to my family and well on the road to making myself ill. I have had many heavy repeated losses over the years but my response was always to try harder to win it back, this time I am thankful that something seemed to click and instead I decided it was time to admit defeat. Looking back I would frequently gamble on football matches with teams I have never heard of, not evening knowing what country they played in. Travelling to work and travelling home from work my head would be permanently fixated on my phone waiting for markets to be suspended in the hope that a goal had been scored !!

I have a lovely wife and two wonderful children aged ten and six and have so many things to be grateful for in life. We have our ups and downs like everyone else but that's just life. For some time we have been keen to do some house improvements and have been thinking of re-mortgaging to buy a small holiday home but my actions were putting us deeper and deeper into debt and making those family targets more and more unachievable. 

I have had a number of urges to gamble over the last 3 weeks but so far I have resisted and whilst I know from experience that complacency can be very dangerous so far I feel much better about myself and I am spending much more time with my family and really enjoying it. I am so much more relaxed, no longer wound up and on pins all the time and have so much more patience with my children. I feel completely different after just three weeks and I am already starting to think about ways to improve my health and fitness which has sufferred badly over the years through eating far too much, I think as a way of punishing myself for losing so much money all of the time. 

My wife and I have agreed on a target timeline for the house improvements and the re-mortgage for the holiday home and I that is providing a real focus for me.  We have many debts to clear before that can become a reality.  I have not told my wife about how out of control things had become and whilst many are likely to advise that I should, for now I intend to use this site as my support mechanism. 

I have been reading posts on this forum most days and I find it really helps. On the day when I turned to this site again three weeks ago the best bit of advice that has worked so well for me was to change my broadband settings to prevent any device in the house accessing gambling related sites.  Whilst I know that I have the ability to amend those settings it has put an extra level in place before opening up a gambling site and checking out the odds and getting my brain racing again with gambling thoughts.

It is very early days and there is likely to be lots more to share over the coming weeks and months if I can keep this going, but so far so good.

Have a good day everyone

46 and out.

Posted on:
Tue, 05/09/2017 - 20:32

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

I posted the above post on the new members intro forum on my Day 21 of not gambling.  I have moved it to here as I feel I am now ready to start a diary.  Today is day 27 GF.

The urges to gamble generally seem to be reducing as I focus on much more productive things to do with my time and my life. However, Sunday was quite testing as I applied for a loan to cover one of my credit cards debts because the monthly amount I am currently able to pay off it mean most of the payment is swallowed up in interest. I wasn't automatically accepted for the loan and it really threw me off balance and wound me up and I felt wierd all day. I have always struggled to let things go and tend to worry about and over think most things in life. It got me down and with my personality the way it is, I kept going over it in my mind time and again throughout the day.  Such feelings would previously result in me turning to gambing to 'free my mind' from how I was feeling as I know when I am gambling all my worries and concerns are forgotten and my sole focus is the challenge of beating the system and proving to myself and I am clever enough to benefit financially through gambling. Once I had lost all my money I would then worry more about covering up the loss and that new worry would still help me shut out my other worries. I hope that makes some sort of sense?

I am quite proud that I chose not to gamble and the negative thoughts about the loan application have passed and the next day I realised I was no worse off than I was before I made the application. Today the bank sent me a text to say they have now agreed the loan in principle and subject to signing a credit agreement and providing any documentation they have requested I will be accepted. I am being cautious as I didn't decalre all of my outgoings so subject to what documentation they have requested the application may get rejected afterall.

The lesson I take from this is that when I am worried about things and feel off balance, I have proven to myself that I don't need to gamble to get through it.   

Best wishes everyone

46 and out

Posted on:
Tue, 05/09/2017 - 20:38

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Its hard to stop, just over 2 weeks and I want to go back to where I thought £1 spins on roulette, and 20p slot spins were fun, but I went passed that to spins on roulette that in my head now I think " Did I really spin that much money on a single spin, a spin that could of outright paid for an all inclusive holiday for  2 weeks in Tenerife " its really mad when your in that zone. When your out of it with your eyes wide open and think why is there 7 bookmakers on my high street or why is there so many online casinos trying to give me all this, they want the next £10 a week man to lose it and have lost 2k in 5 mins, that is where the big profit is, the CG even if he wins and withdraws, he will be back and we will be waiting. Because without the CG the £10 a week man would not keep these casinos alive, its the truth the CG wants the big hits and watches YouTube and goes chasing it himself and we all know how 99% of the stories end. Not 46 and out. 46 walking to the crease and will do this.

Posted on:
Sat, 09/09/2017 - 09:05

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Yesterday was 31 days GF.  4 weeks, a full month, quite proud of myself but must not become complacent.  I feel much more in control of my life and feel much more positive about everything :-)

Yesterday my wife asked me if we had enough money so she could buy a winter coat for over £100.  It got me thinking how I would have handled that over 31 days ago, probably something like this:-

"You've got to be kidding, you know we are skint and have just spent loads on the weekend away we had a few weeks ago.  You've got loads of coats in your wardrobe, can't you make one of them last another year.  It's been even longer since I've had a new coat".  

No doubt making her feel quite guilty for asking for something that she believes she needs, otherwise I know she wouldn't have asked. I responded something like this yesterday:-

"Of course, if you need a new one that's fine.  Just be aware that we will be quite short next month because you worked part time over the summer holidays so next months income will be lower than normal.  We have enough for all bills and essential but not for much more. It will probably take us a little longer to clear our debts but no problem, go for it you deserve it"

Tells myself a story as to how selfish I have been for so long !!!

Today I will not gamble so today I will win and I will feel better for it.

Have a great day everyone

46 and out

Posted on:
Tue, 12/09/2017 - 16:06

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Your doing well 46 and Out, were more or less on the same timeline as far as gamble free days go. Keep it up. I'll keep looking out for you.

Posted on:
Sat, 16/09/2017 - 13:26

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Thanks Smashed, hope you are well?

Today I am 38 days GF.  It was payday yesterday and I went out for a drink with loads of my mates.  I got quite drunk, spent plenty and had a great time.  I feel like I passed a test.  I didn't gamble earlier on in the day to try and win a 'free night out' !! Nor did I try and 'win back' what I had spent once we had wrapped up and I was quite smashed ;-)   Yesterday was the first time I have been drunk since I became gamble free.  Today the missus has taken the kids out for a treat with money we could afford because I didn't have a big 'payday blowout' and I am now off to do something productive (rather than self-destructive) by doing some work in the garden.  

Have a great weekend everyone.

46 and out

Posted on:
Tue, 19/09/2017 - 04:37

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Hi 46 an out

Thanks for posting on my diary and checking in, you must have a sixth sense as Gambling was sniffing about.

Hope your recovery is going good, and your garden is prepped up for Autumn.

Thanks Again.

Posted on:
Tue, 26/09/2017 - 19:11

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Hey 46 and out, just checking your still GF.

Posted on:
Tue, 26/09/2017 - 20:07

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

46 and out ... here's hoping, looking at your GF total today, you're 46 and not out :) 

All the best.

Posted on:
Wed, 27/09/2017 - 00:36

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Hi Smashed / Mixer

Thanks so much for your comments.  I am still GF :-)   Today is day 49 - my last bet was on a Tuesday, the day I had my lightbulb moment and decided to try and call it a day on my gambling 'career'. Long may it continue.

I am feeling much better in myself but I had a bit of spare cash and some spare time this week.  I had a few urges but managed to fend them off and used my spare cash to buy a few early Xmas presents instead.

I must remember that I can't afford to get complacent and I can't win because I can't stop - so why bother and just accept defeat and accept that I will be paying off the debts I have accrued for a long time, but not as long tomorrow as today.

Looking back I wonder how I managed to find so much time to gamble !!

Have a great day everyone

46 and out

Posted on:
Sat, 30/09/2017 - 15:15

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Day 52 GF :-)     I have been up since 7am and was out early to buy materials for some work that is required on the house. Then straight into the garden to finish off the weeding (in the rain !!). Then a tip run, then a trip into town to pick up some bargain toys I ordered on line last night to put away for xmas. Lunch somewhere in between.  It was 2:55 before I even remembered there were premier league fixtures today and I hadn't even realised there was a lunchtime game.  Things must be improving :-)

Have a great gamble free day everyone, best wishes

46 and out

Posted on:
Sun, 08/10/2017 - 03:51

4D

Joined:
2010-02-10

Hey 46, thanks for your post on my diary, by my reckoning you are on day 60 about now?? Well done if this is the case! You say up above that you have changed your broadband settings to prevent gambling related sites, I am going to look into this as another barrier now :)

Posted on:
Mon, 09/10/2017 - 08:11

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Just checking in 46AO, hope your all good and living the GF life.

Posted on:
Fri, 13/10/2017 - 23:31

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Hi Smashed, yes still gamble free and enjoying life.  65 days GF for me today. 

Payday today, no urges, made some payments to reduce my credit card balances and plucked up the courage to look at my detailed credit score report for the first time.  My rating is Poor and it makes pretty grim reading but I am determined to clear some debts each month, improve my credit rating and then all things being equal apply for a re-mortgage in a couple of years to extend the house, which is something the wife has been wanting since we moved house a few years ago. That target is really helping me keep focused and gives me something to work  towards and strive for.

46 and out

Posted on:
Sat, 14/10/2017 - 07:00

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Hi 46 and out

Yeah I'm only 4 days behind you so next big one for us is the 100 Club.

You will do up your house, stay focused.

Posted on:
Fri, 20/10/2017 - 15:19

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Yesterday was 70 days GF for me - 10 full weeks.  What a difference I feel in myself.  Still got significant debts to contend with but they are going in the right direction and have been for the last couple of months.  A long hard slog ahead but I can just start to see a slight glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.  Have a great GF day everyone...

46 and out

Posted on:
Sat, 28/10/2017 - 16:12

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Day 79 gamble free. I've had a few gambling thoughts today so I have come on to the forum to read back through my diary. I need to keep busy today to keep my mind off gambling.  Have a great day everyone.  46 and out

Posted on:
Fri, 03/11/2017 - 11:46

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Day 85 GF.  I had a really disturbed sleep last night, I couldn't break a dream of being back gambling again. I was so anxious and annoyed that I had let myself and my family down at a time when I thought I was making so much progress. What a huge relief when I woke up and I was able to work out it was just a dream (nightmare !!) and that I remain gamble free.  A stark reminder to me of how I will feel if I start gambling again and the damage I will do.  I remain determined to beat this addiction and not let it take hold of me ever again.  ODAAT.   Have a great, positive and gamble free day everyone.

46 and out

Posted on:
Fri, 03/11/2017 - 17:14

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

I think we always will have dreams and thoughts of Gambling, especially if youve done it for such a long long time from 5p JPM fruit machines to ridiculous online losses, and that addictive mind does not want us to forget, and will even let us dream of massive wins and try and tempt us back in by any means neccesary. But 46 we are getting close to 100 road man its visible its this month. Stay Strong 46.

Posted on:
Thu, 16/11/2017 - 09:44

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

You made it to three figures. 100 days free of stupid Gambling Addiction. Well done 46 and out, right behing you.

Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 21:36

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Hi 46 and out, congratulations on your 100 days

Posted on:
Sat, 18/11/2017 - 21:51

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

100 days - whoop, whoop! Well done!! x

Posted on:
Mon, 11/12/2017 - 15:42

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Hope your all good 46 haven't seen you about for a bit, need to check in. :-)

Posted on:
Mon, 11/12/2017 - 20:32

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Hi Slot fool and Little Miss lost, thanks for your kind words, I really do appreciate them.

Hi Smashed, I'm still around and still GF.  Thanks for your post and for looking out for me.  Hope you are well?

I have had a busy few weeks and whilst I have been around a little reading a few diaries I have neglected my own.

It's been an expensive few weeks leading up to Xmas and as a result its put me back a month or two in terms of my target date for clearing my many debts.  I have had a few fleeting thoughts to gamble to recover my debt position but I have quickly put them to bed and moved on.  It has been nice to spend on Xmas and whilst I have felt a little guilty from a debt perspective I have not resented it like I would have done in the past in terms of it could have been used as gambling tokens to feed my addiction.

I have also noticed that my highs and lows are not as high or low (!!) as they used to be.  Life feels slightly more balanced and I am a little more at ease with myself.  I am still a worrier and I still get low quite quickly and dwell on the negives but not as low and not as frequently as previously - I seem to be able to snap out of it quicker and handle it better.  I hope this continues in the right direction as my gamble free life continues.

Sorry for rambling on a little, its sometimes good to 'get it out there' without over thinking it too much.

Have a great day everyone.

46 and Out

Posted on:
Sat, 16/12/2017 - 19:40

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Hi All. Still gamble free.  Had a great day delivering xmas cards for the Scouts / Cubs post service. More to deliver tomorrow with the kids.  Looking forward to it, seems to compliment my OCD tendancies putting all the street numbers and names in order !!  Makes me think I may like to be a part-time postman one day if my full time job ever comes to an end for any reason.  Perhaps if I make it to 60 in my current job and I retire.  Wishing my life away lol.   Head is clear, gambling thoughts under control but I must not get complacent.  Xmas is getting really expensive, must not gamble to ease the burden, those thoughts always turn into self destruction.   Have a great evening everyone.   46 and Out.

Posted on:
Fri, 22/12/2017 - 13:49

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Great day so far with the kids, library, park and then a bite to eat. Back home for baths and now looking forward to a pyjama movie afternoon. Quality time with my wonderful children. Today i will not gamble. Time with the kids or being stressed wrapped up in a laptop and horse racing and sports betting all day, a no brainer but why did I used to do it??? Madness !!!

Have a great day everyone

46 and Out

Posted on:
Thu, 28/12/2017 - 07:33

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Hi 46 and out, I hope you and your family had a lovely Christmas. Best wishes for 2018
146 days is fantastic? Well done and keep going :)

Posted on:
Sat, 30/12/2017 - 16:58

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Thanks for your best wishes and encouragement Slot Fool. 

Life is good at the moment, spent a few hours this afternoon watching the football results coming through on TV without thinking about wanting (or needing) a bet.  Kids are going out tonight with their friends mum and dad so I have decided I should take my wife and eldest daughter out for a nice meal and a few drinks at the local pub. I would never have thought about that a number of months ago, I would have been too busy trying to calculate if I had any gambling tokens left after a Saturday frenzy of sports and horse racing gambling.  Finding excuses to pop out to the 'shops' every hour and / or glued to my laptop or mobile phone ignoring my wife and children.

I am still gamble free and looking forward to the challenge of remaining gamble free for a full calendar year in 2018. Finances improving slightly each month too :-)

46 and Out

Posted on:
Mon, 01/01/2018 - 18:54

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Happy New Year Everyone

Still gamble free. A good day so far.  Lovely long walk with the dog this morning.  Back to work tomorrow

46 and Out

Posted on:
Fri, 05/01/2018 - 00:12

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

150 days gamble free. 

4 days into a diet, finding that really hard but if I can stick at it for a couple of weeks hopefully it will become more of a routine.  Two brisk walks each day.  Looking forward to the weekend so I can take the dog to the beach again.

Just had a 0% balance transfer accepted which will stop me paying stupid amounts of interest each month on one of my credit cards.  Just had my 60 day update on my credit score, taken quite a jump in the right direction.  Feeling great at the moment. 

Have a great day everyone and resisit any urges to gamble over the weekend.

I can't win because I can't stop.  ODAAT

46 and Out 

Posted on:
Sat, 13/01/2018 - 17:33

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

158 days gamble free today, feeling relaxed and calm.  Spent a couple of hours on the beech today with the kids, a bit chilly but good fun.  Looking forward to spending some time with my Dad tomorrow watching footy on TV with him.  ODAAT.

Posted on:
Sat, 13/01/2018 - 20:12

sjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Good to hear you are doing well (and in January of all months! =P )

I follow your diary lurking in the background most of the time. Just thought i would post to say hello today =)

Posted on:
Wed, 17/01/2018 - 09:05

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

So glad to see you racking up those days, as we were on the same path days wise, but not going to fall off again. Proud of you.

Posted on:
Sat, 03/02/2018 - 17:52

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

179 days gf :-)  Feel so much more relaxed. It's taken me decades of my adult life to realise it's the simple things in life that are the best.  I really enjoy taking the dog for a long walk on the beach most days.  I've just been out with my son to buy him a new pair of trainers, cost a lot and I couldn't really afford them but accepted the price and best of all not one thought of how I could win the money back.   Have a great gamble free day everyone.

46 and Out

Posted on:
Sat, 10/02/2018 - 08:13

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

I have lost a stone in weight since 1st January and I am still going on long fast walks most days despite the weather. Went to GP yesterday for another check up, my blood pressure is now spot on and cholesterol is now just under 5.0. I am chuffed about that.

Must not get complacent, must keep busy, must keep taking it ODAAT.

Healthier body, healthier mind, healthier wallet. This gamble free life is treating me well so far :-)

186 gamble free days today

Now 47 and Out

Posted on:
Sat, 17/02/2018 - 06:59

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

I'm up early this morning, planning a long walk later.

I was at a loose end and looking to fill time one night last week and had a number of thoughts about whether I should have a bet.  It came out of nowhere really as I've not had any urges for a number of months.  I think it may have been triggered by emotions as I had been arguing with my wife (nothing too major) and felt I needed some time on my own so I went out for a drive. Thankfully I managed to keep the urges at bay and it reminded me that I can never become complacent as urges can sneak up on me at any time and catch me unawares.  I haven't had any more urges since then and I'm now back on an even keel.   I can not win because I can not stop.  ODAAT.  193 days gamble free and back on track.

Have a great gamble free day everyone.

46 and Out

Posted on:
Thu, 22/02/2018 - 17:27

harry33

Joined:
2009-11-24

Hi mate,

i have just had a read of your diary and some similarities to my situation, i really hope you can resisit the urges as you are doing so well, only think i would say is have all the barriers up so that even if the urges are very strong it is impossible to act on it.  Remember your goal for the future, which can be achieved if we remain gamble free,  Good luck

Harry

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 21:58

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

200 days gamble free today, my reward was the washing machine packing in!! We bought a new one on a credit card and I am pleased I have not had any urges to try and win back what it has cost. I have just put it down as a normal expense people have every now and again.  Whilst it will make a dent in what I have paid off my debts in 2018 I am still heading in the right direction, if I was still gambling my debts would be getting progressively worse rather than gradually improving.

I hope you have all had a peaceful and gamble free day.

46 and Out. 

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 22:12

sjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Well done on 200 days, very nice. Argh, not great about the washing machine but you are right, it happens. Imagine the stress of having to replace that without being as far GF as you are. Everyday helps our finanaces but life does throw the odd unexpected bill at us from time to time. You know what you have to keep doing by now, enjoy it =)

Posted on:
Sat, 24/02/2018 - 23:15

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Excellent achievements.

200 days without gambling. Blood pressure spot on. Cholesterol levels on target. Healthier body, healthier mind and healthier wallet. 

Very inspirational. Wishing you well as you continue on your journey.

Posted on:
Sat, 03/03/2018 - 15:03

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

The kids are out today so I really fancied a day out on the booze. I used to love having a Saturday betting frenzy alongside a good few pints in the local pubs.  I was so very tempted to go out for the day and I battled with myself for well over an hour whether I should or not, I was really itching for a bet and ultimately decided I would have gambled had I been drunk in one of the local pubs.  I eventually decided to go the shops and buy a selection of different lagers.  I am having a good drink at home instead. Much safer as my internet provider has been set to ban gambling sites and I am self excluded from all on-line accounts. It's amazing how this illness creeps up on you and tempts you back in. I've had very few urges for many months before today. I know I just have to make it through today and providing I do I know I will be made up when I wake up tomorrow. I can not win because I can not stop.  ODAAT.   

46 and Out

Posted on:
Tue, 06/03/2018 - 19:46

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Your doing well 46 as just one tiny lapse in the mindset and you can be back there with the gambling right back on your tail, it does not how far away from it you get you have to remember it will always say *What's a tenner" "It's only a scratchcard" or anything know the triggers and move on. Gambling is a mugs game will be today and for evermore, try and find an online casino with operating losses, that tells the story why there are new casinos popping up everyday all run by big companies just raking it in, online on the high street, bingo everywhere and we will always be the fools.

Posted on:
Mon, 02/04/2018 - 15:18

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

237 days gf.  This weekend was a lot easier than the previous couple when I had quite a few urges to gamble.  I have joined a gym to try and keep busy.  Also looking forward to a couple of weeks off with the kids.

Have a great gamble free day everyone

46 and Out

Posted on:
Sun, 08/04/2018 - 10:15

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Keep it up 46AO we should be on the same numbers as we both gave up around the same time, I have tried the gym but find it so tedious, I like swimming and maybe a run with the dog, I'll do that more :-)

Posted on:
Sun, 08/04/2018 - 10:55

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

I too am getting back in to the gym and also running. No where near as fit or fast as I was but I'll get there. Well done for signing up. Let us know how you find it.

Posted on:
Sun, 08/04/2018 - 10:56

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

I too am getting back in to the gym and also running. No where near as fit or fast as I was but I'll get there. Well done for signing up. Let us know how you find it.

Posted on:
Sat, 14/04/2018 - 23:42

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

Hi Smashed and Slot Fool

Thanks for the posts on my diary, I hope you are both well and the gym and swimming / running is helping you both.

I am enjoying the gym but am struggling with motivating myself at the moment. When I do manage to get there I enjoy it and feel better afterwards but my eating habits which were so good in Jan / Feb have been poor ever since.

I have just finished reading the book by Justyn Larcombe about the impact gambling had on his life.

It has got me thinking, whilst I feel so much better about being gamble free (250 days tomorrow), there may be other things I need to address in my life to find peace with myself.

Do I have emotional issues from my past that I have never really dealt with - yes I had a tough time in high school as my initial overconfidence (big headedness!!!) led to others resenting me which led to me being bullied and my confidence being torn apart and I think that led to a 'need to be liked in my adult life and a 'need' for people to think of me as being a success.

Having money always gave me a feeling of confidence, that is probably one of the main reasons why I was so attracted to gambled. Perversely it has had the opposite effect, always having to be in debt to feed my addiction and to help keep up appearances that I was doing well in life. Perhaps at 47 I need to work harder on not caring so much what people think of me, I should only care that I have a loving wife, children and close family which I certainly do. Those people never judge me about material things so why should I care what anyone else things of me?

I am and always have been extremely competitive and when gambling I would refuse to lose and would gamble until I had no more to lose in an attempt to not let the bookmaker get the better of me.

I am going to have a good hard think about some of the things I may need to address in my life beyond gambling as I am fairly sure I conveniently keep shutting them out. I will challenge myself to note them down on paper over the coming days and then consider how I may be able to move past them.

A bit of a deep post tonight, perhaps it's the first time the fog has lifted enough for me to start considering dealing with other 'quirks I may have. We shall see...

46 and Out

Posted on:
Sun, 13/05/2018 - 22:43

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

I'm now 278 days gamble free and my finances continue to get gradually better but it will be a long haul.  They are not getting worse so that's the main thing and my credit score is taking a positive move in the right direction too.

I've had a couple of health issues over the last month but I'm now starting to get back on my feet. I need to get back on the diet and fitness wagon - easier said than done !!!   I had a big blow out on Saturday and suffered for it today :-(  Kept myself busy by spending some time with the kids this morning, doing some gardening and then invited Dad over to watch the footy and have a BBQ.  Took the dog out for a long walk on the beach this evening and I've now settled down to watch some catch up TV.

Take care all

46 and Out 

Posted on:
Sun, 27/05/2018 - 12:07

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

292 days gamble free. Still get occasional urges but so far i have managed to keep them at bay.

Have a great bank holiday weekend everyone.

Posted on:
Thu, 14/06/2018 - 22:54

46 and out

Joined:
2017-08-08

310 days gamble free.  I had a great laugh with the kids putting them to bed tonight.  311 days ago I would have been shouting to them from the couch telling them to go to bed and getting angry at them if they wanted me to go upstairs and see them. My laptop and sport on TV would have been far more important than my own kids - how bonkers is that !!

Life has changed so much for the better and in so many ways.  I'm even starting to regain some self worth and confidence.

Now that the gambling mist has lifted its as if I was another person trapped within that mist living a crazy existence and a double life. Life now feels real, yes it throws up its problems but I can face them logically now I am no longer trapped within the gambling vice.  I must not get complacent. I can't afford to have one bet as it will lead me back to where I never want to go. I can't win because I would never stop.

Take care everyone

46 and Out

Posted on:
Sat, 16/06/2018 - 11:55

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Dear 46 and out,

congratulations on your 310 days gambling-free. So glad to hear that it is having a significant effect on your life and improved relationships with the people you love and care about. Also pleased to hear that you've seen improvement in your self-worth and confidence. Feeling good about yourself is an integral part of a sustainable recovery.

Keep up the good work.

Best Wishes

Forum Admin