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My first confession

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#1 Posted on:
Tue, 10/01/2017 - 20:21

Letmyhusbanddown

Joined:
2017-01-10

Hi everyone I didn't think I had a problem until we decided to buy a house. My last three months bank statements say it all. I have never got into any debt and have always paid my bills, however I clearly have a problem because I have not saved any money and spent all my spare cash on online slots. I am ashamed of myself, and still don't know 100% if my marriage is over. I'm glad in a way that it has come to light, because I clearly need help. I have not done any betting since 28/12/16, but scared I will relapse. I don't want to do this, and I want to prove to my husband (if he still is) that I can be better than this. Thank you for anyone who takes time to read my post x

 

Posted on:
Tue, 10/01/2017 - 20:34

Jasminegolf

Joined:
2016-07-16

Well done on giving up and admitting you have a problem. Keep working hard, stay busy and put the blocks in place to continue this way. You are not alone, we are all fighting this horrible addiction but once you've cracked it, it feels so good. Best wishes xx

Posted on:
Tue, 10/01/2017 - 20:55

Letmyhusbanddown

Joined:
2017-01-10

Thank you so much. The last three months, (November being my worst) I have played slots because I have not been at work. I had an operation which has meant I've had lots of time on my hands. Time that I have spent on slots out of boredom. I have no excuses, I should have found something else to do like read a book. I'm so ashamed x

Posted on:
Tue, 10/01/2017 - 21:12

NickSpurs

Joined:
2017-01-09

Don't be ashamed and it's not too late to turn things around. Talking about it whether on here or face to face does definitely help. I cannot talk to hardly anyone about it as no one gets it other than a few friends of mine who have seemingly managed to move on. They are so happy now and that is where I am heading. Good luck x

Posted on:
Tue, 10/01/2017 - 22:05

Letmyhusbanddown

Joined:
2017-01-10

Thank you nickspurs. I hope you to can find your happiness. 

Posted on:
Tue, 10/01/2017 - 22:13

Rhoda

Joined:
2016-12-06

Good to talk to you on chat...you can sort this...sort the blocks, honesty and transparency with your husband....this forum is great for mutual support.

Posted on:
Tue, 10/01/2017 - 22:21

Letmyhusbanddown

Joined:
2017-01-10

Thank you so much Rhonda. Thank you for your support in chat tonight. 

Posted on:
Wed, 11/01/2017 - 07:46

Lee1818

Joined:
2017-01-10

what makes Gambling so hard to over come is it starts out as a bit of fun to pass the time away and you don't realise you have a problem until the bank account is empty. We are all working to the same goal as I won't truly be happy I've cracked it until at least 6 - 8 months have past. its a long road but at least you have started that journey and 14 days have past for you now so well done. 

Posted on:
Wed, 11/01/2017 - 08:37

Letmyhusbanddown

Joined:
2017-01-10

Thank you Lee. I'm feeling rubbish today, I think the realisation of what I've done/been doing has hit me today. I was up most of the night thinking and crying. I don't have my husband here as he works away, I dread to see him Friday as the look of disappointment on his face will kill me. 

Posted on:
Wed, 11/01/2017 - 08:55

Loxxie

Joined:
2016-01-15

Hi and welcome...
Like you..my problems began when I stumbled upon the slots online......we all know the devastation that followed.....
The feelings your going through now love are all perfectly normal when facing addiction...I was in your shoes nearly a year ago...it will get better love....it just takes time....a lot of hard work and 100% commitment....take a look at my diary...it may help...it may not..but at the very least it will keep you busy for a while....take care....x

Posted on:
Wed, 11/01/2017 - 09:39

Joydivider

Joined:
2015-03-11

Hi well done for joining the forum.

Make this your born again moment and you will learn a lot about how the addiction works and how it got to you.

Its one of the most deadly and complex addictions in how it controls people on so many levels.  Boredom, stress, depression,feeling it might be a winners game, income scheme, dopamine buzzes are all part of it. They are all part of it in complex thought processes which take over the mind

The reality of gambling is that it takes your pride, self respect and it slowly kills people.

I believe it naturally creates addicts and its no wonder it creates addicts. There is no shame in admitting it got to you.

Now you must take the fight on and keep talking about it on the forum and to your husband, You must now block from ALL these sites. Indeed this may take handing your gadgets over if they are not properly blocked with software.

You will get you self respect back but dont be afraid of being monitored and proving your finances with receipts and statements.

You can beat the addiction....... you will beat the addiction...... you will move on with your life

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Posted on:
Wed, 11/01/2017 - 11:07

Lethe

Joined:
2016-12-10

Hi

My husband is the recovering CG in the house. Letting a  partner know is one of the hardest things to do but it's beneficial for the start of a real recovery as is ongoing honesty and transparency. Now he knows it will be much, much harder for you to gamble unobserved. It would be a good idea to start getting some blocks into place and investigating your local GA meeting and/or signing up for counselling (Gamcare offer free sessions) so you can show him (not just tell him) you mean business.

Posted on:
Wed, 11/01/2017 - 11:46

Rhoda

Joined:
2016-12-06

Morning LMHD, I have been reading how slot machines are carefully programmed to reel us in to a game and take our money...I never really thought about that when I was sitting in the casino. The book was saying how some people can have a genetic disposition to becoming compulsive gamblers, and that the games are designed in such a way, to hook them and reel them in. You have been manipulated, so have I, but we can choose to not let it happen anymore...a motto a few use on here ...We Can And We Will (WCAWW)

Posted on:
Wed, 11/01/2017 - 13:12

Letmyhusbanddown

Joined:
2017-01-10

Thank you all so much for your lovely comments. It's so nice to speak to people that are in the same situation as you, and know how it feels. I will look into blocking sites. I have closed all accounts permanently that I had open. I have asked my husband to check my bank account every week as we do not have a joint account. I want to change. 

Posted on:
Mon, 23/01/2017 - 17:37

jayd

Joined:
2016-11-25

Brilliant comments every one with the same goal to be gf stress free financially free a happy life and above all a sense of wellbeing along with a lot of other good things . The real rewards of being gf as opposed to no rewards gambling .keep up the good work

Posted on:
Sat, 28/01/2017 - 21:53

SophieAnn84

Joined:
2017-01-28

Hi there, thank you for posting. As i sit here alone as my husband works shifts, i am finding it hard to control my gambling habit. It has gotten worse over the years, but i realised in the last few months i am using it as an escape, an escape from what i dont know. I am addicted to online slots also, and i find it a really taboo subject being a women. my husband has known and has joked in the past about how i was a gambling addict and to just walk away with the wins, but as you all know, we have such greed that brings us back in. Luckily i am not in any debt, but i have lost thousands and my last months pay just went within days. I want to nip this in the bud before it gets worse. i already know i am out of control, i put in hundreds after hundreds night after night, winning some back then the cycle starts. Its so reassuring to know there are others out there. 

Yesterday i was working from home, and spent a lot of it gambling. Last night i decided enough was enough and have self excluded from a lot of the sites. i have done that before and just ended up opening new accounts on new sites. 

I'm sure we can kick this habit together, any tips on how to fight the urge when its pay day or when boredom strikes?

xx

Posted on:
Sat, 28/01/2017 - 22:12

Jeffrey2010

Joined:
2017-01-25

Stay strong. I was in the same position. I gambled after night shifts when my wife and son were asleep and i was up alone and bored. Now i have K9 blocking software on laptops and phones etc and wife is the only person with the passwords to remove the blocks so gambling is impossible unless i went to a bookies and i have never been in a bookies in my life as it does not interest at all, im only addicted to online betting. Getting this software and making your husband the administrator for it will be a great first step.  All the best!!

Posted on:
Sun, 29/01/2017 - 23:35

SophieAnn84

Joined:
2017-01-28

Thanks Jeffery. I am proud of the achievement of not gambling for two days now, i feel like such a loser saying that but i know you will all feel the same about it. i do get itches everynow and again but i am trying to keep myself occupied. Im the same, no interest in bookies or even casinos. i have visited Vegas before and funnily enough, i found it quite boring and i dont know why. i still gambled on the slots but didnt really get the same thrill as at home. it is a really lonely habit. How are you filling your time now you are no longer gambling?

Posted on:
Thu, 02/02/2017 - 19:57

Letmyhusbanddown

Joined:
2017-01-10

Well done SophieAnn84. It takes guts to join and share your story. Boredom is one of the worst things and like you I have never been interested in going to bookies or casinos, just online slots. I am now 36 days gf. I tend to do a lot of reading or have a bath, the urges soon pass xx