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Posted on:
Sun, 25/02/2018 - 22:05

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Cheers mixer another week down and I can gladly say I'm no longer struggling. Haven't set foot in a pub for two months now and i don't intend to go into one in the future .

Posted on:
Sun, 25/02/2018 - 22:40

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Thank you Mixer. Great weekly rollcall which was thought provoking, informative and light hearted in a serious way. I liked the poem which I thought was quite clever.

Sorry your still not feeling 100% due to cold/flu syptoms, hope it clears up soon.

Wishing all the Guru Challengers a good gamble free week. Contented and happy.

 

Posted on:
Mon, 26/02/2018 - 22:24

Raj

Joined:
2017-07-05

Hi Guys, checking in still GF...been really busy recently work home- few normal night outs-no casinos! Keep strong and GF..you are all doing well 

 

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 01:09

Ineffable

Joined:
2015-02-21

Woohoo Mixer, congratulations on your 200 days GF - fantastic achievement - keep going and keep strong!

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 01:44

Christer1

Joined:
2016-02-29

Good roll call I've have a lot to take my mind of gambling as my 15 yr old daughter overdosed so I am spending time with my fam more than ever

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 06:33

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Checking in 9 days gf

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 12:13

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Hi everyone... I'm still massively under the weather. But getting there. And ....... still gambling free!

Determined Dan - thank you for your kind words, and great to see you're 9 days GF. Let's have a great March eh :)

Godoicul - you're dead right, this is a bit of a **** month indeed!

sjwsjw - thank you for your kind words, I'm getting there mate.

Marson - keep with it, my friend and you're exactly right: never forget the depths of despair we have reached in the past. Let's not go through that again. And that's just the think. We really don't have to. We have the choice. And if we're tempted, we should have blocks in place to make bloody sure we can't gamble, even if the 'cunning' side of us wanted us to.

Adam123 - Excellent to hear you're doing great Adam; not being in a pub means you're not having to worry about tempation and there's much more to life than pubs anyway. The booze ain't cheap and pubs aren't all that inviting at times. Keep going Adam :) :) :)

Stephen - thank you, as always, for your kind words and really hope you're keeping Ok yourself too. Sorry I'm not been posting more but I know you understand why. Just wish I could shake this flu off but I have to let nature take its course and not overdo it.

Raj - thanks for checking in and glad you're keeping our of tempation's path. Why torture yourself - there's no point! It's interesting, though, because after a while being gambling free, we think we can handle a gambling environment; "time heals", and all that. But the blunt truth is we can't, and we are always one bet from potential disaster. That's just the way it is with us recovering compulsive gamblers, I'm afraid.

Ineffable - thank you, it's great to hit 200 days. Not one day has been easy, but without the cash on me, I can't gamble. Would I have faltered if I had enough cash (to gamble)? Yes. I would. It's all about the blocks for me, but we are, of course, different. Whatever works!

Christer - I'm very sorry indeed to hear your family news and, naturally, you're devoting all of your time, energy and efforts in dealing with what is a very sensitive and critical time. We're all thinking of you. Our families, close ones and friends are our No.1 priority, in the same way we matter to them. You know what matters ... and your daughter and family is getting 100% undiluted love and support from you. This is what matters.

Well, everyone. Life is a rollercoaster, as has been often said. During the 'dips' we need to be clear headed, focussed and effective. Being gambling-free allows us to be that way. 

Just for today, let's not gamble. Forget gambling. Sod gambling. We don't need it; it's a ball and chain around our ankles. Our money is hard earned; our pensions are our entitlement after a life of graft. Let's not p**s it all away.

Take care everyone.

Mixer

 

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 12:13

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Dup post in error

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 19:57

degenerate

Joined:
2013-05-10

Yo. Checking in.

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 22:33

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Checking in, have a good week all

Posted on:
Tue, 27/02/2018 - 23:58

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Congratulations Mixer on 200 days gamble free.

Keep blazing that trail my friend. We are all with you every step of the way...stephen 

Posted on:
Wed, 28/02/2018 - 18:38

degenerate

Joined:
2013-05-10

@Mixer Very well done for reaching the 200 day mark.

Posted on:
Thu, 01/03/2018 - 00:21

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Sad to report I gambled on 28th February. 

A friend is looking after my bank card from now on.

I am almost out of data so will return Sunday when my allowance starts again.

Posted on:
Thu, 01/03/2018 - 06:12

Godoicul

Joined:
2016-04-13

 

 

 

Hey Mixer over 200 days is mint well done!!!

February has been a cruel month with work being busy and the beast from the east slowing things down ( I’m a courier). February was a gamble free month and is history now we are into March and the 1st day of spring it’s a good time to start to look forward to longer (warmer)  days and Good Friday in only 4 weeks. Easter Sunday will mark 100 days gamble free for me so long as I get there one day at a time. 

Going to see my hero Kell Brook box on Saturday my nephew is paying after me taking him a few times over past while he was at college he’s got a job now and offered to pay which is amazing he didn’t have to do that. I’ll take plenty of beer tokens eh.

I’m off to deliver in the snow. Stay safe and warm ( and gamble free ) people

 

Posted on:
Thu, 01/03/2018 - 09:26

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Checking in on day 82 gamble free .... well done on reaching 200 days without a bet Mixer ,great going.... Keep the head up Stephen and keep fighting mate we are all with you.

Posted on:
Thu, 01/03/2018 - 12:07

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Checking in

Posted on:
Thu, 01/03/2018 - 16:23

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

 

Hello

I’m back to reset my days. I’ve been ill and with that came time and opportunity and you know the rest. I reached 143 days gamble free, then I spent about a week gambling online, spent a considerable few hundred pounds but then came to my senses. I’m back now with a week under my belt and checking in on day 8. 

Disappointed in myself and annoyed to have had this set-back but it’s important to be honest. 

I’ve re-worked my plan to get out of debt and this should see me get there by December 2020. That’s my goal and I’m feeling determined. 

Hope all on the challenge have stayed on track better than I have!

Hope you’re feeling better Mixer. 

BDF 

Posted on:
Thu, 01/03/2018 - 20:42

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Checking in on Day 11

Posted on:
Fri, 02/03/2018 - 03:46

Christer1

Joined:
2016-02-29

Congratulations mixer on ur 200 thankyou for your updates still a trying time with daughter still in hosp plus enjoying the snow with my son also still to busy for the g word 

Posted on:
Fri, 02/03/2018 - 05:43

Ineffable

Joined:
2015-02-21

Hello all, I am supposed to be on a flight this morning but the airport is closed so going to take the day off and go to the gym and cinema - to keep myself busy.

Life is relatively good at the moment. It’s nothing special but I guess that is the point - it’s just normal. I have not gambled for 62 days so keeping my promise to myself be GF for 2018. In other news I have lost 5kilos since the 1 Jan so making progress on my weight and fitness - its a simple equation - less food more exercise - but it’s a real challenge to keep it going - but persist I must.  Happy Friday!

Posted on:
Sat, 03/03/2018 - 19:39

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

Congratulations on over 200 days mixer. I'm going strong on 114 now. Debt free in 72 days and counting...I got this :)

Posted on:
Sun, 04/03/2018 - 09:21

rubybaby123

Joined:
2017-07-31

Checking in 219 days gf

Been snowed in since Thursday. Been a tough few days.

Had a conversation with the hubby about our local bingo club.
Used to go often with family and friends, few drinks and a meal and of cause the bingo.

My hubby asked me did I think I would be ok going with friends &family now and then as a 'social thing'. Sometimes when they all get together and go I do miss the social side. My main problem was online gambling.
My hubby said he knows someone who 'had' a gambling problem but was able to control it now and only gambled occasionally.

I sat and listened and thought to myself, I could probably convince my husband that I could go with family and everything would be fine and then I could gamble with his blessing. My way out gambling guilt free.

Parts of me felt almost excited but the rest of me felt sick.
I said to my hubby if I was an alcoholic or a drug addict would you give me your blessing to have a little now &then? Of cause he said no.

Talked it all through with him and he agreed that I could of probably convinced him that it would of been ok. Which really scares me.

Could of been so easy just to step back into hell.

Since our chat the urges are definitely bck with a kick, but I know I can cope with them, been reading my dairy from the start and other diaries. They keep me focused and strong.
Sorry to waffle on, hope everyone as had a good gf weekend xxx

Posted on:
Sun, 04/03/2018 - 09:39

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

** GURU CHALLENGE -  Latest WEEKLY ROLLCALL!  ***

It's Sunday, 3rd March 2018

Hello everyone. It’s March at last. Spring has sprung! Well. Not really. It’s been ‘cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey’, as my late grandad used to say, so we’ve got a little while to go before we can ‘warm our cockles’ (he used to say that, too).

But whatever the weather the gambling climate for us is the same. We must stop gambling, forever, day-by-day. If we gamble, we always lose because we can never keep what we win; we end up losing it then losing more. That’s why we are recovering compulsive gamblers.

We cannot rely on willpower. Our willpower is actually fantastic but tuned in the wrong direction – it searches for ways to circumnavigate the blocks we have put in place and actually finds ways to gamble! So, usually, willpower, on its own, is not enough; we can’t trust to do what we want it to do. Bravado and good intentions ‘do not put food in the mouths of babes’ (my late grandad’s final contribution today!).

So, what do you do if we know we’re weak? I’m very weak when it comes to gambling. So how have I, after years of destructive gambling, ‘somehow’ hit 200 days GF (and I have; I can look each and every one of you in the eye)? It’s down to the blocks. I’ve strangled my personal money supply so that I cannot gamble even if I wanted to. I’ve stuck with it because I know I’m weak and that this is for life. I’m not going to take my bank card out with me as a ‘reward’ for hitting this milestone because I know what will happen. Hoisting the white flag? Yep, if you want to call it that. But I’m not gambling, my bank balance is recovering and my family and friends are happier, and happy for me.

It’s not just that. I continue, like so many of us, visit Gamcare, have had blocks of counselling (twice) and do my utmost to bombard my mindset to help ‘sink in’ how devastating this condition is for us and how it’s a ‘ball and chain’, dragging us back, in a world where it’s tough enough, frankly. Why make things more difficult for ourselves?

Members of our group occasionally relapse. It saddens me because it reminds me of my many relapses and that I am always one day from the next one. My message to you is to keep putting more blocks in place to minimize the likelihood. Because one relapse, as I know to my cost, can quickly undo all the good that was achieved during the ‘dry spell’, and not just financially, too.

Keep going! Remember, life will chuck stuff at us but gambling doesn’t help us, in fact it just makes things worse. It’s the wrong kind of escapism and if we’re trying to ‘win’ to fix a financial hole, then that’s no good, either. Because, remember, if we did beat the odds and win, we will lose it all again, and then more, because that’s what we do.

You’ll never find me ‘preaching’ here; I’m with each and every one of you. I’ve been there, and I’m one day away from being there again. Let’s keep to the good fight, shoulder to shoulder. Be honest with yourself, and the group, because otherwise you’re not just kidding yourself but your loved ones too. Your loved ones want to support you. If you want to keep self-punishing yourself that that’s up to you (if you must, if you insist …) but don’t punish them, too.

Ok. Let’s see how we’re doing, team :)

 

  • ROCKING? Another week gambling-free; excellent! 
  • RELAPSED (but RE-RESOLVED)? You’ve been honest with us; it shows respect for us and respect for yourself. What went wrong and can you do something about it to minimize a chance of a repeat … that’s the attitude that will help you back in the driving seat.

 

ROLLCALL OF HONOUR

Phil72 – 750 days GF – Congratulations, Phil, on hitting the 750-day milestone. Every day hard won!

Mixer200 days GF – Thank you, everyone, for your kind messages.

Christer1 31 STRIVER milestone passed – You’re back into the STRIVER ranks and that’s fantastic. Great to see you’re re-focused and that can only mean better things this time. Right J

 

Our GURUs

Phil72 – 754 days – ROCKING! This is a tough time for you, to say the least, as your wife is away, but you’re keeping up your commitment not to gamble, day by day, as you have done throughout each and every one of your hard-fought 754 days, Phil.

Degenerate – 341ROCKING! – This cold weather can make us a bit stir crazy; cabin fever can kick in when we’re stuck indoors. The gambling devil senses our dilemma and beckons us online… and that’s the route to disaster. I know you’ve nearly wobbled and I’m delighted the blocks you have put in place are holding. Permanently banned from certain on-line bookies – excellent. Keep building those blocks, Degen … it’s the only way!

 

Our ELDERs

Sars27 – 275  – ROCKING! – Haven’t heard from you for a week, Sars .. I hope you haven’t been snowed in! You’re doing great … stick with it, my friend.

Rubybaby219 - ROCKING! – I’ve just read your latest post and I’m on your side in this debate. Your hubby doesn’t understand, from his non-gambling perspective, that our condition is for life, we can’t be ‘cured’. Whilst he knew someone who had a problem and wasn’t gambling now, there’s more than a hint of looking through ‘rosy-eyed spectacles’ here. I would stand your ground and not go to bingo under any circumstances. It is NOT fair on you and your family; gambling will count as a relapse and the worst thing you can do right now. Show your husband this post! You are doing bloody well and your husband must understand the implications and disaster that will unfold if he encourages you to gamble again, even as a ‘reward’ for the time you’ve been gambling-free lately. Don’t gamble Ruby, and do not feel pressure to from your husband or anyone. It is not acceptable.

Mixer205ROCKING! Blocks are everything.

4D179 – ROCKING! – It was interesting reading a post when you wondered if addicts can recognize fellow addicts. Certainly, I had a friend years ago who was (sadly) into drugs, and could spot a dealer in the high street of an unfamiliar town at 500 paces. In the same way, yes, gamblers can spot fellow gamblers. It’s in the eyes.

Marson123 126 - ROCKING! – Thank you for checking in and fantastic to see your continued progress. It’s all good. Fantastic Marson!

Slotfool - 115ROCKING! – Thank you for your kind words and it’s good to read you have a milestone of your own to hit – debt free in around 70 days. Always adds to the resolve!

 

Our STRIVERS

Chartom3 (*ELDER status achieved*) – 85 – ROCKING! Life is a rollercoaster and at your posts infer, it’s about enjoying the good days and minimizing the effects of the bad. Our minds can gradually be retuned, bit by bit, and weaned off of this corrosive habit. It might be a lifetime’s work but it’s only one life – right!

NiceNormalFamily  - 79 ROCKING! – Haven’t heard from you for a couple of weeks NNF – I hope the weather’s not impacted you too much and you and your family not sitting at home like frozen ice lollies!

Godoicul65ROCKING! – As always, loving your posts. You are exactly right; there are warmer days ahead; much brighter days now that you are seriously tackling this addiction and, quite correctly, taking a day-to-day approach. Good news about your nephew, and, yes – those beer tokens will be gratefully accepted. That’s what I call good karma. Keep safe in these dangerous conditions, Godoicul.

Adam123 -  71  – ROCKING! –  Your latest thread is entitled “A different 2018?” and I’m delighted you want it to be! Your previous thread was called “My future happiness” and these two things tie up. Doing great, Adam!

Ineffable64ROCKING! – You’re right, Ineffable – the snow and associated disruptions can lead us off-track and give us a possible ‘excuse’ to gamble but only if we let it. And we are not going to let it Delighted you’re well on-track!

Leeders10053ROCKING! –  I haven’t heard from you for the last couple of weeks but hope you’re GF strategy is still red-hot and not frozen like the weather! Do let us know how you’re getting on, if you can.

Christer1 31 ROCKING! – Delighted you’re back striving, hitting that crucial month without gambling. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, goes the old Chinese proverb. Keep marching, Christer!

 

NEW & RE-RESOLVED MEMBERS

Determined Dan14ROCKING! – Great to see you hit 2 weeks gambling free and you’re nice and busy on the forums too! You’re giving sage advice to others too and this can only help you, too, as you fully develop your understanding of this condition. We never stop learning!

Lea samp – 22  – ROCKING – Here’s hoping you’re keeping on the right path. Being gambling free is the only way; you realise this, that’s why you’re here. Do let us know how you’re getting on.

201818ROCKING – Great to see you’re hitting the ground running and starting as you mean to go on – gambling-free. A great start; let’s hitting 30 days to get you to the Striver milestone, proving you can handle a whole month gambling free!

Boxingdayfresh11  – RE-RESOLVED  – Thank you for your update and honesty, BDF. We all have a tipping point and our blocks always need to be one step ahead; I’m sure you’re working on it. But I hope you’re feeling much better health-wise now and delighted that you’ve shaking yourself down and are back in the saddle.

Stephen the Strong (previously Abstainer(*ELDER status achieved*)4 RE-RESOLVED – I’m really pleased that your friend is looking after your bank card. I’d seriously consider this to be a permanent arrangement. Thank you for your typically raw, honest post describing how you’re feeling – bearing your soul and I’m so sorry to read you’re really struggling right now. We are all with you, Stephen. We’re a team. We stick together!

 

STATS FOR NERDS: No-one’s joined and no-one’s left or been rested this week. After a slight counting error last week, we currently have 2 GURUs, 6 ELDERs, 7 STRIVERs and 6 NEW/RE-RESOLVEDs; a net total (inc. our newbie) of 20. 

 

*** JOKE OF THE WEEK ***

I read the sad news that the bloke who invented the smoke machine passed away last week

He’ll be missed………..

 

 

Keep strong and keep smiling everyone!

Mixer

 

 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 04/03/2018 - 09:48

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Top man Mixer. Thanks again for a great rollcall.

Congratulations on your 200 gamble-free days mate. Really pleased for you!

Have a good Sunday.

Dan

Posted on:
Sun, 04/03/2018 - 09:55

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Morning Guru Challengers. Hope everyone's safe and sound. 

Day 4 GF for me. I last gambled on 28th February and left myself in a financial mess. Fortunately a friend has bailed me out with a loan. The same friend is going to keep my bank card for the next year and give me money as and when required.

I went to Gamblers Anonymous on friday night and really enjoyed it. I intend going every friday.

Hopefully these changes will get me back on the road. Maybe they will be the last 2 pieces needed to complete the recovery jigsaw.

Wishing everyone success in overcoming their struggles. Let's hope we can all find what we are looking for.

Posted on:
Sun, 04/03/2018 - 11:12

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Congratulations Mixer on your continued good progress. 

I enjoyed the weekly rollcall which is always an excellent read. Very informative and lighthearted in a serious way.

I will not change my name again but have finally settled on Stephen the Stoic. I believe he has what it takes to lead me home.

Abstainer, Stephen the Strong and Stephen Staid were just not up to scratch and had to move on. They received a generous redundancy package and the last I heard they were soaking up the sun on the Copacabana Beach.

Posted on:
Sun, 04/03/2018 - 13:15

Nicenormalfamily

Joined:
2017-12-15

Checking in with 79 days gambling free. I completely forgot to check in last week. Not much to report things pretty steady and no real gambling urges. In fact I seem to be going days without thinking about a bet, so all good for now. Take care everyone!

Posted on:
Sun, 04/03/2018 - 15:40

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

275 GF DAYS ! Checking in ninjas :) .

Huge congratulations to my man mixer and thank you for keeping the challenge alive ! You’re an inspiration my friend ! Let’s goooooooooo! 

P. S had so much fun in snow with my wife and the lil man :)

Sars

Posted on:
Sun, 04/03/2018 - 19:44

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Checking I for the week, cheers mixer and congrats, great weekly feedback you really do take the time to think of everyone on this thread and it really helps us. For the first time since December I went In a pub twice this weekend, I didn't drink and i didn't gamble but its an eye opener and its difficult don't think ill go again for a while its just not my scene anymore and puts the strain on my will power.

Posted on:
Mon, 05/03/2018 - 08:07

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Thanks Mixer and well done on 200 days - very impressive. I look forward to following in your footsteps. The advice and comments in this update are very useful and especially to those of us recently re-resolved. 

Staying gamble free and on the mend now thanks very much. 

Posted on:
Mon, 05/03/2018 - 16:48

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Determined Dan - thank you for the kind comments; hope you enjoyed the rest of the weekend too!

Stephen - great name change, and you change it as otten as you want to mate! I liked the thoughts of the other names pensioned off and enjoying Copacabana beach, sunning themselves with cocktail in hand! Great news handing over financial control, by the way - trust me, it leads to a much sunnier outcome!

NiceNormalFamily - thanks for checkng in and glad you're keeping on the only path there is - GF Boulevard!

Sars - Heeeeeey! Great to see you're back and glad you enjoyed the snow with your good lady and lit'lun! :)

Adam123 - It's funny how pubs change when we take off the gambling 'blinkers'. We see who our friends really are and the whole concept changes. But point taken, Adam - the fruities continue to flash regardless and it's not worth the tempation being in there in the first place. Unless you're with people who will not, under any circumstances, let you go on it. They're what I call true friends. And, never forget, if you go on the slot, you'll be a mug punter. There's a trickster lurking in the darkness just loving it when you fill it up for him ... so steer clear :)

Boxingdayfresh - Thank you for your kind words. You are back in the GF driving seat and that's great to see. You've had a great GF run before; you can do it - and better it - again.

Have a great week, all!

Mixer

Posted on:
Mon, 05/03/2018 - 19:03

adam123

Joined:
2015-06-09

Very true mixer I will not be the mug punter anymore....mark my words...

Posted on:
Tue, 06/03/2018 - 07:57

Slot Fool

Joined:
2017-09-20

In for the week, have a good one all.

Posted on:
Wed, 07/03/2018 - 23:03

tara2

Joined:
2013-01-27

I'm afraid to join the guru challenge but I think I'll face my fears and do it anyway.  Tara2 with a new starting date to grow from.  I've had months up to 6 in the last years and early on I had over a year.  Now it's been just a month or two and then a gambling spell.  I want something different and I want it now.  tara2

Posted on:
Thu, 08/03/2018 - 14:46

boxingdayfresh

Joined:
2014-12-28

Checking in on day 15. Been fighting urges to gamble. Just wish there weren’t so many gambling sites out there as it’s always a temptation. I’m happy to have got through the last two weeks gamble free. I know I can never win so gambling really is pointless. I know I only play to win as the thought of playing online slots in practise mode with ‘pretend’ money holds no attraction. And by now I know I can never win by gambling I’ve proved this to myself thousands of times. Keeping sight of my debt free future which is Christmas 2020 is keeping me on track. 

Posted on:
Thu, 08/03/2018 - 16:12

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

I never, ever pretend that being gambling free is easy. It's bloody difficult and, I can tell you here and now, if I didn't have decent blocks in play - i.e. zero access to cash - I would be gambling. I just know it! For me, it really is all about the blocks, for life. I can't 'guild the lily', personally - but we are, of course, all different.

Tara - Welcome to the Challenge; this will be different. There's no hiding place here; we are all in it together, openly, and every week we see how we're getting on. Great to have you with us - let's break this relpase cycle together!

Boxingdayfresh - You're right, we know the score; it's imprinted on our brains. We cannot win. Yet, we still have the urges, such is the baffling nature of our condition. One day at a time, grit your teeth and declare you're not going to gamble.

It's all about blocks, blocks, blocks. If you gamble, the blocks were not good enough. Desperate times do mean desperate measures; but there are rewards in the long term. Personally, my bank balanced has improved markedly; my savings have gone up £4k in six months. That's a direct result of not gambling. But do I feel happy? Strangely not. But ... my family are much more happy, and more secure. Whilst it's about me; it's not all about me.

Keep going everyone!

Posted on:
Thu, 08/03/2018 - 17:17

tara2

Joined:
2013-01-27

thx. for the welcome Mixer.  You said you don't feel happy and I know that it's okay because gambling takes the not feeling happy and turns it into total ruin.  So much respect to you for keeping up this wonderful thread , maintaining your conviction and for caring that your family feels more happy and secure.  Maybe look for happy moments?  :)   Thx. for the spirit of this thread.  The guru challenge!  Glad to have decided to come on board.  tara2

Posted on:
Thu, 08/03/2018 - 23:22

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Mixer. Your posts are always thought provoking, honest and totally relevant to our recovery.

Being gamble free does not necessarily bring us happiness but it brings us a lot less misery. Like you rightly say, being a bit sad with money in our pocket is better than being miserable and skint.

Being subdued now and than may be part of who we are, or maybe there are reasons behind it, who knows !!! We have no need to fear or resent it, we can in fact welcome it with open arms. Embrace the blues and accept ourselves for what we are. 

If we feel in the mood we can sit in quiet contemplation. Passively reflecting on our thoughts and emotions with neither praise nor condemnation. 

Wishing you contentment, understanding and joy...stephen 

 

Posted on:
Fri, 09/03/2018 - 00:02

Godoicul

Joined:
2016-04-13

Checking in for the week, all is good.

Hey Stephen I get the name meaning a lot to you and you have to get in the right frame of mind to beat this and for me my forum name means a lot too. Luciodog was my poker online name and Godoicul is Luciodog backwards which represents my will to turn things around. 

Also Adam I get the not feeling the pub thing I’ve been out in City drinking last 2 sat night with a mate who has been playing the slots it’s no fun really I see the anger in him when he’s losing. Before I quit I lost the anger/joy of playing slots and I can remember the last time I took a jackpot it scared the **** out of me as I felt nothing. 

We have to stay strong because the gambling opportunities are everywhere init.

Posted on:
Fri, 09/03/2018 - 02:11

Ineffable

Joined:
2015-02-21

Day 69 ;)

I realise that my mood (happy, sad and everything in between) is not just dictated by not gambling - everything else going on in my life has an effect. I am just grateful that gambling is no longer a factor in my life and therefore doesnt contribute to me feeling down a lot of the time. But I dont expect that not gambling will make me happy either, it just stops me from constantly feeling low - and that’s enough for me. Not gambling provides me with the opportunity to seek out a better, happier life - it doesn’t mean I will succeed but I have a much better chance if I remain gambling free.

Happy Friday 

Posted on:
Fri, 09/03/2018 - 09:33

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

Tara2 - thank you for your considered, thoughtful post. You're right - it's not about happiness, as such, but comparative contentment. I read an interview with Jordan Peterson who said:

“‘Happiness’ is a pointless goal. Don’t compare yourself with other people, compare yourself with who you were yesterday. No one gets away with anything, ever, so take responsibility for your own life. You conjure your own world, not only metaphorically but also literally and neurologically. These lessons are what the great stories and myths have been telling us since civilisation began.”

Happiness, like a lot of emotions, is an abstract notion and, yes, you've got it right when you say: gambling simply makes whatever 'state' worse. And yes, there are always happy moments :)

Stephen - thank you for your kind words, and you've mirrored what Tara has said and added: let's embrace the blues. Because it means that we, conversely, enjoy the good times more.

I sometimes think about wealth and what seems to be, on the face of it, the 'paradise' that it can bring. I think of Sir Phillip Green, who, in my opinion (and we're still allowed free speech in this country - just) ransacked BHS and left thousands of BHS pensioners high and dry. I think of him, always having to watch his back, because he has made a lot of enemies. For security, he spends most of his time on his superyacht. But is this paradise? Even I would get a bit stir crazy, day after day day at sea. He's overwirght and unfit as the result of one rich meal and booze followed by another followed by another. He has no true friends; just sycopahnts after a slice of his billions. 

I'd rather have the cut and thrust of a normal life, where, yes, you have to be on your toes but that's what makes life interesting, fulfilling. All we need to do is cut out gambling because it's a negative drag we don't need, it drains our wealth and weakens our character. And we can stop - just like that, that's the amazing thing!!!! (And with solid blocks, we definitely can!)

Godoicul - it was interesting reading your name choice and how you've reversed it - inspired. Because every time you see name you know you're all about turning your life around. A little reminder, a further incentive. Referring to Adam's perceptive post, it is genuinely interesting watching pub life from a healthy non-gambling point of view. How sad the shifty, sullen, darty-eyed fruit machine gamblers look, permanently staring or semi-staring at the fruit machine, with their moody, silient, anti-social countenance when on these pathetic flashing one-way moneyboxes. That was us. But not any more. Let someone else be the mug, let it fall on someone else to be the pub idiot. (That's how saddo fruit machine addicts are perceived to the pub crowd. I was one.)

Ineffable - echoing all the other posts, happiness isn't the goal. It's about living a more fulfilling life, one that has a better chance of being achieved without gambling. We must, as you say, rejoice in our not gambling. What a relief to realise that we don't need that **** anymore!

Let's keep talking, keep posting, keep resolved. We are in control of how we deal with this. We are not going to gamble today.

Tomorrow, we will make a similar, fresh agreement with ourselves. We'll do that tomorrow.

Keep strong. We have no choice. But the beauty is, the amazing thing is - we have the ability and freedom to make the right choice!

Posted on:
Fri, 09/03/2018 - 12:47

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Checking in on day 90 , thankfull to be still gamble free

Posted on:
Sat, 10/03/2018 - 09:46

Christer1

Joined:
2016-02-29

37days Gfree I am daughter still not in a gd place so I have to stay strong for her and my son and wife, I will say on here everybody needs to stay strong this week I know Chelsham lovers will have to try to steer clear of it

Posted on:
Sun, 11/03/2018 - 10:33

4D

Joined:
2010-02-10

Checking in for the week on 186 days gfree x stay strong everyone
4D

Posted on:
Sun, 11/03/2018 - 10:49

Mickey22

Joined:
2018-03-11

Hello, this is my first time and feels like a huge step to have signed up to this forum. 300 day challenge sounds great, thanks for the support 

Posted on:
Sun, 11/03/2018 - 12:27

degenerate

Joined:
2013-05-10

Checking in, 348 days. Going to be difficult week with Cheltenham on the way.

Posted on:
Sun, 11/03/2018 - 18:01

Mixer

Joined:
2016-12-03

*** Rollcall might be delayed till tomorrow ***

Good afternoon everyone. Unfortunately, I've had a very busy day today - I've been the victim of identity theft, of all things, and I've been scurrying around trying all day trying to protect my position; it's been a bit of a nightmare but hopefully I've acted *just* in time. The searches on my Experian credit refernece agency account read like a rollcall all on their own (yep, there have been loads of searches, I'm aware of current accounts, loans and credit cards applied for). We've all got to be *so* careful and on the ball these days. So I'm a bit knackered with all of the phone calls and rest of it; for example changing all of my passwords (and not to the same password, either!). I'm sure you'll understand! I'll update the Rollcall either later tonight or definitely by tomorrow.

It reminds me, perhaps reminds us, that whatever life throws at us - and it does, often - we've got to be strong. I think to myself - thank goodness I'm more on top of things these days, without the impediment, irritation and drag of gambling; all it does it make a potential bad problem a lot worse.

Keep strong everyone!

Posted on:
Sun, 11/03/2018 - 18:04

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Checking in 282 GF days ! Hope you get sorted my main man mixer , have a safe week people :) 

Sars 

Posted on:
Sun, 11/03/2018 - 18:37

chartom3

Joined:
2015-03-11

Hi Mixer, the rollcall can wait, get yourself sorted first and foremost, hope you get things sorted out.

Posted on:
Sun, 11/03/2018 - 19:42

Godoicul

Joined:
2016-04-13

Hey Mixer hope all is sorted with the ID theft. Have a great week ahead. I will be watching Cheltenham this week but I won’t be betting on it. I reckon I’ll take a couple of quid every day to work and leave the bank card at home. I do love Cheltenham festival though. Peace be the journey 

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