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Is it possible to private message a user?

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#1 Posted on:
Wed, 16/01/2019 - 15:03



I've been reading this forum for 9 years now. There is one user in the F&F section who seems obsessed with the idea that anyone who loves or tries to understand/help a partner with their gambling problem must immediately be "Co-dependant" and directs them with absolute certainty to the Coda website. 

Whilst I appreciate she probably was, it is quite irritating to tar anyone who reaches out with concerns with the same large-stroke brush. I don't want to point this out though as it would probably be considered trolling. But is there anyway I can message her to make her aware of it?

My point being, it's like a mantra of "You feel a little sad? Right, you are clinically depressed!" It over-eggs the pudding for posters who have come here to get advice. "Co-dependency" is a DSMV mental illness, very acute and chronic; whilst "I care about my partner's problems and I'd like to find a way to help them and understand why they keep making terrible emotional decisions" - is probably a healthy response when you care about someone. 

Her knee-jerk default position of assuming everyone is like her has become a bit problematic. I don't want to point it out on her thread though.



Posted on:
Wed, 16/01/2019 - 18:09

[email protected]


I'm uncertain as to why you feel the need to put CW right.
She is one of the few people on here who has actually put any real work into her recovery.
99% of the advice on here is generic, nah vacuous, but here is a poster with genuine insight & wise advice.
Should we personally message the posters who give the advice of joining a self exclusion scheme as the answer to addiction? Or reading the worst book on addiction ever as a means for freedom?
Or should we maybe listen to people who have actually done what they needed to do rather than what they were prepared to?

Posted on:
Wed, 16/01/2019 - 19:53



Maybe some reflection for the OP along the lines of..,,

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will  talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

Posted on:
Thu, 17/01/2019 - 12:04

Forum admin


Dear Mad-Max

It is not possible to pm a forum contributor.  The GamCare forum is moderated to facilitate peer support and we try our best to keep the forums as a friendly, safe and supportive recovery-focused place.  It is inevitable that within the diversity of the range of our forum users there will be differences of opinion and we try to maintain a balance between maintaining a right to free speech where it does not break our forum rules, and stepping in where there are contraversial or differences in opinion that fall outside our intention that the forum users show respect and consideration for the views of others.  What works for one person may not be right for others and we therefore encourage forum users to focus their energies on what works for them.
If anyone feels that a particular post breaks forum rules then it is appropriate to email the forum admin. 

Kind regards


Forum Admin 

Posted on:
Wed, 13/02/2019 - 01:20



When you think about it, it may be a good thing that CW introduces the concept to each person, so in turn they may visit the CODA website and have a look into it, from there they can decide for themselves if further exploration is required or not?

Nothing wrong with a bit of 'food for thought'?