GamCare Logo
Login / Register

I LOVE MY FAMILY.

271 posts / 0 new
Last post

Pages

Posted by
Messages
#1 Posted on:
Sat, 17/06/2017 - 18:32

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

 

good Hi everyone ! 

You could probably all guess why I'm here. I finally admitted that I have a gambling problem / addiction . I can confidently say I'm a compulsive gambler . Having a good job as a physiotherapist with a wife and a little boy (15 months old ) I don't know why I still get demonise by online gambling ! It all started when my nan died 5 years ago and the worst part of it was I won 3 grand that year by playing online poker then got too greedy and lost it all the next year ! Plus I lost another grand which hurt me and made me realise I've got to stop !

then I manage to stop between 2014-2015 as got married and just did not have any interest with anything to do with gambling! 

then last year I got really bored one night and stated gambling again ! And found online casino ( roullete ) much more interesting than poker cause I can just win money within seconds ! Little that I know I took out hard earned money within seconds too and lost 2 grand :(.

This year I lost 2 grand in January which my wife is aware of as she knew I've been working very hard and on the beginning of this month I've lost an extra 3 grand whilst the OH is on a night shift ! She doesn't know the last loss and I'm sick to my stomach and disappointed , disgusted of myself ! I felt that I let my wife and son down..

Luckily we're not in debt .. what I'm scared of is we have a big savings of 45grand which could go if I haven't stopped .. so I made my decision of joining gamcare and updating you guys with my progress .. 

Currently I'm 15 days Gf! I've already learnt to do it ONE DAY AT A TIME!

 

 

Posted on:
Sat, 17/06/2017 - 21:00

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

Hey buddy. Glad you've started a diary. Will look forward to following your journey. Best wishes, Phil.

Posted on:
Sun, 18/06/2017 - 09:26

burko26

Joined:
2017-06-16

Inspirational post. I'm in a similar boat. Relapse into gambling, young family.  Good luck buddy. 

Posted on:
Sun, 18/06/2017 - 11:53

Lethe

Joined:
2016-12-10

Tell your wife and get her to take control of the finances. Get her to put the savings where you can't touch them. Once you've done that get other practical barriers into place so you can't act on a whim, book counselling (Gamcare offer free sessions) and find your nearest GA meeting. You will need to identify and address whatever is driving the compulsion.

Posted on:
Sun, 18/06/2017 - 14:57

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Day 16

Still GF ! And still feeling quite low thinking of my last relapse which has not been kind to me :( . Need to fight this addiction ! And I'm determined to beat it one day at a time .... I don't deserve a Father's Day appreciation from my family as I have been bad to them :( 

@phil thanks buddy !

@ burka thank you buddy I hope you're recovering well too..

@lethe thank you for the advice .. I'm still scared of telling her my last relapse but I evently let her know .. about our finances I already told the bank and I have excluded my account on almost all the online sites and installed blockers in place .. 

Posted on:
Mon, 19/06/2017 - 19:34

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Day 17

Today is by far the hardest day of my recovery .. I cant understand why I just burst into tears after I picked up my wife from work doing night shifts .. (she's a nurse) 

I think I'm feeling rather guilty gambling away our hard earned money .. she's due to be back for another 6 nights and I just can't hold the tears from my eyes ... I'm not normally fragile but today every single little things weakens me :( ..

I feel lonely and hurt .. but still fighting strong to remain gamble free .

Sars 

Posted on:
Tue, 20/06/2017 - 08:48

Magsy

Joined:
2014-02-02

Hi Sars27

So sorry you're feeling so bad atm. You're definitely not alone cos we are here for you.

Why don't you have an online chat with one of the advisers on here? Think it's called Netline.

Or get your self one of those kiddies blowy up punch weighted bag characters, call it online gambling or something n punch seven bells out of it. Anything to lighten your mood.

Be kind to yourself x

 

Posted on:
Tue, 20/06/2017 - 11:50

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Day 18

Feeling a bit better than yesterday and still gambling free !

@ magsy thank you very much that means a lot .. I think I'll just go to the gym more frequently and release all the tension by getting fitter :) I hope you're well .. 

Posted on:
Tue, 20/06/2017 - 12:13

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

Hi Sars. Remember there is a lot of support available - GamCare counselling, GamCare Netline, ACT, GA and of course the chatroom. Cheers, Phil.

Posted on:
Tue, 20/06/2017 - 17:02

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Cheers Phil . See you tomorrow on the chatroom :) 

Posted on:
Tue, 20/06/2017 - 17:53

CraigyBhoy1990

Joined:
2016-01-28

Going to give the chatroom a go tonight :) Cheers 

Posted on:
Tue, 20/06/2017 - 18:29

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Hi Sars, hope you're good mate. 

Yes going to the gym more often is what I'm doing too. And running. It gives my mind something else to focus on other than gambling.

Keep smashing those days bud! 

Posted on:
Tue, 20/06/2017 - 21:46

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

@craigy cool! I hope you found the chat room friendly & helpful ! 

@moorey for sure buddy gym is better I'd rather max out in gym than max my credit cards out like what I use to do lol ! 

Stay GF EVERYONE ! and thanks for all the support 

Posted on:
Tue, 20/06/2017 - 22:00

Lightsout

Joined:
2017-06-19

Hello Sars,

well done on your progress thus far. I too started gambling after a bereavement, in fact, it was the very night I heard about the death. I have deluded myself with much magical thinking during late nights of gambling since. You done well to tell your wife, that must have taken a lot of courage.

Posted on:
Wed, 21/06/2017 - 16:48

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

@ lights out thank you ! The most recent relapse I haven't told her yet but I will in time ! Keep up the good work yourself ! Day 19 still gamble free ! 

Posted on:
Thu, 22/06/2017 - 14:14

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Day 20

Still gamble free and starting to feel happier.. can't wait for when I take my wife to Paris so we can enjoy our time together . Much love to everyone.

Posted on:
Thu, 22/06/2017 - 18:49

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

That's a really happy and positive post Sars! 

Well done on your 20 days. Top effort. Keep it going. 3 weeks tomorrow!

Posted on:
Thu, 22/06/2017 - 18:59

conradnose

Joined:
2017-06-21

Well done Sars27 on reaching 20 days GF.

It looks like you have lots of incentive to combat your addiction and it's great you're taking action. I agree with Lethe if you think you could dip into your savings put there where you can't touch them just elimate that temptation straight away.

Keep it up!

Conradnose

Posted on:
Thu, 22/06/2017 - 20:44

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

@Morey thanks for being with me in this journey ! I'll be with you too all the way buddy ! You're amazing man ! Thank you thank you !

@conradrose thank you for reading my post . I've already put them on a time deposit so I can't touch them . Thank you for the support this is all helping me with my recovery ! 

Thank all I'm super happy right now !

Posted on:
Fri, 23/06/2017 - 21:57

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Day 21

Three weeks today whoop whoop!! I'm so happy ! Not really thinking of gambling anymore ... I've been reading other people's diary and it's been a massive help to abstain from gambling. I must say that it has not been an easy journey. Urges will always be with me as I'm a CG but I have to remind myself all the important reasons why I'm staying away from gambling! 

Stay gambling free people ! 

Posted on:
Sun, 25/06/2017 - 15:58

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Day 23

It's been a good day with the family today .Still not thinking of gambling at all ! In fact I'm starting to hate gambling and I would never bet again ! Stay gamble free everyone :) 

Posted on:
Sun, 25/06/2017 - 21:01

Lightsout

Joined:
2017-06-19

Dear Sars,

you are doing wonderfully. I hope you are enjoying all the time with your family and feeling fully present and engaged with them. It is so different from when gambling is in the back of your mind, isn't it? Almost a month for you!

Posted on:
Mon, 26/06/2017 - 20:44

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Day 24

Another great day without gambling ! Spoke to an adviser for 30 mins today and learnt a great deal of strategies ! Everyday is a school day ! It's been a tough day at work but I've manage to deliver a challenging presentation ! 

@lightsout thank you for your time reading all my post and for your continuous support! It means a lot buddy . It's at least ten fold better without gambling ******** your mind constantly! I don't feel like a zombie anymore ! And starting to feel like I actually belong to society !

Thanks everyone ,

Sars 

Posted on:
Mon, 26/06/2017 - 21:14

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Fantastic reading your diary Sars!

I'm so pleased to hear that you're feeling the love for life again. 

Well done on getting to 24 days mate. 

Onto Day 25!... which you're going to smash too! 

Keep strong mate!

Posted on:
Tue, 27/06/2017 - 01:16

ItMattersMoreWh...

Joined:
2017-06-02

We are 25 days GF buddies - Race to 100?

Posted on:
Tue, 27/06/2017 - 12:15

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Day 25

Well , well ! What can I say. Quarter of a century today yahoooo! On my break at work at the moment  and smiling ! Tomorrow is payday and going to be a challenging one ! I have to remember I can't afford to be COMPLACENT about my little progress ! 

@Moorey thanks for the regular visit on my diary! Yeah buddy we can do this ! I'm finishing the perpetual race with you !

@itmatters hey buddy ! You're in for a treat ! Let's do it ! Many congratulations to you too for achieving 25 days !

Thanks everyone ! I am Sars and I will always remember the pain that gambling brought into my life ! I will reflect and not dwell !much love and respect 

 

Posted on:
Tue, 27/06/2017 - 13:37

Magsy

Joined:
2014-02-02

I am over the moon reading you are doing and feeling so well, Sars27.

Well done x

Posted on:
Tue, 27/06/2017 - 18:51

Lightsout

Joined:
2017-06-19

Dear Sars,

payday will be a big test, as you know. Mine is looming also, but you get to go first. Just remember the low mood, the tears, the destruction of the future, how much your wife and child need a happy, healthy husband and father! I know you can do this. Let's get it done!

Posted on:
Tue, 27/06/2017 - 22:40

Guestuser9

Joined:
Before 2009

Well done SARS aka mr fitness I was thinking today I'm not sure I've come across anyone with as much enthusiasm as yourself on this forum before. That enthusiasm will serve you well . I used a few of your pointers today in the gym so thanks for those . Now as for tomorrow i.e. Payday just see it as another day . Don't forget to treat yourself or another when you hit your goals . Have a great one and I'll catch you on chat again sometime.

All the best 

Posted on:
Wed, 28/06/2017 - 07:39

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Day 26 - Beginning of the day-

PAYDAY TODAY!!!  Not thinking of gambling at all ! In fact I'm scared of losing even a single penny ! I'm going to stay strong and I will not gamble !

 @magsy thank you for stopping by again my friend I hope you're doing well yourself ! You're very kind .

@lightsout thank you very much for all the encouragement it's really helping me to stay out of trouble . You're advice is very true , I'm thinking of my family and the aftermath as a result of gambling . I hope you're staying strong my friend !

Thank you very much everyone !

I will update you at the end of today's challenge! 

Sars 

Posted on:
Wed, 28/06/2017 - 12:11

Lightsout

Joined:
2017-06-19

Dear Sars,

yes, I am feeling stronger every day. Thoughts of gambling cross my mind when I remember the debt and monies lost, but I have made a commitment to myself and my family to take the path to true financial freedom - a life without gambling. life is worth more than this. We think we are only gambling with money, but we are actually gambling our happiness, our mental health and the happiness and health of those we love now, or may love in the future. That's not a gamble I am willing to take, now I have gotten brutally honest with myself that that's what it truly is.

Looking forward to hearing you have passed the first big test. You CAN do this!

Posted on:
Wed, 28/06/2017 - 13:31

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

@ deano thank you very much for the kind words buddy ! I'm just super happy to meet good people/friends here on gamcare. And I'm always happy to help you with some gym stuff man remember " no curls no gurls " LOL ! or if you wan " no tri's no guys" hahaha just messing with you :) . Thank you once again man your support is a massive help towards my recovery .

Mr.fitness LOL!

Posted on:
Wed, 28/06/2017 - 22:34

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Day 26 - end of the day

Still gamble free and manage to survive the day without gambling my hard earned money ! PAY DAY , you have been a challenge but I won today :) 

@lightsout thank you for all the lovely encouragement ! 

All the best,

SARS 

Posted on:
Wed, 28/06/2017 - 23:26

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Closing in on 4 weeks gamble free buddy!!! :)

That's something else to celebrate. Payday is always a big challenge so well done for overcoming the urges. Mine was today too. Though much like yourself, I'm petrified of losing a single penny to gambling. 

Life for us is currently heading one way and that's UP!...

Keep up the good work!...

Right with you all the way. Stay strong. 

Moorey

Posted on:
Thu, 29/06/2017 - 00:18

ItMattersMoreWh...

Joined:
2017-06-02

Take the pressure off if you like, just transfer your pay over to me and I will look after it for you ;-)

Everyone knows day 26 GF is the easy one, wait until you see day 27! You better be ready for it!

Cheers

Posted on:
Thu, 29/06/2017 - 16:45

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Day 27

Not really thinking of gambling anymore. However, it feels like the last time I gambled was just yesterday . I would always be thankful for every single day I haven't gambled .

@Moorey thank you buddy ! You must be nearly a month GF or just over ? Keep the numbers increasing ! 

@itmatters LOL ! Cheeky ;) . I like that one day at a time approach . Today is good , tomorrow might be a totally different story . 

Thank you everyone for reading my diary and stay gamble free.

Sars

Posted on:
Fri, 30/06/2017 - 12:49

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Day 28

I can't believe I'm sitting here on my break and writing that I've not gambled for 28 days ! It's an achievement and it makes me feel proud .

I am Sars a compulsive gambler and I would not let my addiction ruin my life and my family. 

Posted on:
Fri, 30/06/2017 - 18:33

Hope28

Joined:
2017-06-18

Well done SARS 

Same here gambling ain't gonna beat me no more!

Good going fella 

Hope

Posted on:
Fri, 30/06/2017 - 19:14

degenerate

Joined:
2013-05-10

4 whole weeks bro. Very well done.

Posted on:
Fri, 30/06/2017 - 22:18

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

@Hope28 thank you for taking your time to read my diary appreciate it :) I hope you're doing well yourself! And yes we are on the winning streak together!

@ D cheers bro ! It's always nice talking to you on the Chatroom ! Keep up the good work to brother you're nearly a centurian ! 

Posted on:
Sat, 01/07/2017 - 07:17

DeterminedDan

Joined:
2016-09-08

Congratualtions on 4 weeks mate!

We're starting to hit some seriously impressive numbers now!!

Posted on:
Sat, 01/07/2017 - 13:59

TheGhost

Joined:
2013-03-16

Congratulations on 4 weeks gambling free. I'm at a similar stage to you (currently on day 31) & trying to be a better dad & husband to my young family. Keep taking it a day at a time & the days will keep mounting up. Well done on your journey so far & enjoy reaping the rewards of being gambling free.

Posted on:
Sat, 01/07/2017 - 17:07

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Day 29

It's been a great day today ! Not only I passed my exam for extra qualification but also treated my wife and son to a nice restaurant and bought myself and my wife some nice clothes ready for holiday to Paris on Monday for a week ! Life is superb right now ! I couldn't ask for more !

@Moorey yeah mate we're definitely hitting some good numbers! It's nice to actually have some life other than gambling ! :)

@Ghost well done for making it to day 31 buddy ! I'm just behind you  and yes a day a time approach is awesome ! We both have a great motivation to surpass to burden ! Just think of one thing and one thing only FAMILY ! Congratulations and keep me updated :) 

Thank you all for reading my diary! I'm Sars a compulsive gambler and I am responsible for my own actions ! Stay gamble free guys !

 

 

Posted on:
Sat, 01/07/2017 - 18:07

Lightsout

Joined:
2017-06-19

Dear Sars,

congratulations on your 4 weeks of freedom! Life, here you come!

Posted on:
Sat, 01/07/2017 - 23:49

Guestuser9

Joined:
Before 2009

Congratulations on passing your exam and well done for reaching your first month bet free. Keep smashing it mr fitness 

Posted on:
Mon, 03/07/2017 - 06:20

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Day 31

Had such a wonderful time yesterday with friends at the local powerlifting competition and today I'm going to Paris with the wife for a week ! Wohoooooo life is so much better without gambling ! I'm just gonna smash this addiction one day at a time! 

@lightout thank you my friend ! You're doing well too ! Never look back :) 

@deano cheers buddy ! I'm super pumped for this challenge ! I'm ditching my addiction ! Yeah baby :) 

Thank for taking the time to read my diary everyone ! 

Much love & respect !

Sars 

Posted on:
Thu, 06/07/2017 - 09:15

Lightsout

Joined:
2017-06-19

Dear Sars,

I wish you a wonderful time in Paris, you have earned this holiday, and just think how much more enjoyable it will be now that you are no longer under the dark cloud of gambling hell! Have a great time!

Posted on:
Thu, 06/07/2017 - 17:44

NevetsEgdelloc

Joined:
2017-06-12

Hello all. 

Great achievements by you all. I'm currently on day 26 gf and like you I hate the thought of losing a single penny these days. Ive just got my last months bank statements and it's not pretty. I hate myself as to how much I've have deposited the past month but got to get that out of my thought and concentrate on the future. Onwards and upwards 

Posted on:
Fri, 07/07/2017 - 09:07

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Day 35

Hello everyone ! My wife and I had a wonderful time in Paris ! We're like big kids in Disney and enjoyed the heights of Eiffel Tower. We're so relaxed and money was well spent . I can honestly tell y'all right now that life is a million times better without gambling ! I never thought I'd be happy again . 

@Lightsout thank you my friend , you've been a great support towards my recovery. I hope you're still keeping away from the devil's temptation.

@nevets thanks for reading my diary. You're absolutely right the only way is onwards and upwards. Just think of how much future we have left to spent without gambling. We can't look back, we just have to reflect and take it one day at a time . 

Thanks everyone for helping me with my recover . I'm Sars a compulsive gambler and I'm responsible for my own actions .

Posted on:
Fri, 07/07/2017 - 16:58

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Well done Sars , up and running now with 35 days between you and that last bet . Great you and the missus enjoyed the week in Paris . Also wonderful to see your positive approach to recovery , it is a good reminder for me to stay focussed , well motivated and accept responsibility for my own actions . 

Wishing you continued success in your recovery and happy times ahead ...... stephen 

Posted on:
Fri, 07/07/2017 - 21:22

split

Joined:
2017-02-28

Keep it up SARS!

Pages