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I have to stop now.....again

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#1 Posted on:
Wed, 02/05/2018 - 22:53

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

 Hi, this is my first post even though i’ve known i’ve had a real gambling problem over the past 5 years. I’ve always liked a flutter and am a sociable guy, but over the past 5 years i’ve Lost my mind and any control to think rationally when losing every penny that I have. I have a lovely wife and two smashing kids, so I don’t know why i’m Not happy and why I can’t be like other people that I see. I know how lucky I am. Anyway i have told my wife, brother and best friend this time last year when I broke down, however after remortgaging and clearing the £35k gambling debts i’ve gradually Started to gamble again and have already racked up £10k on the Credit card this year. I’ve now self excluded from another set of online bookies(they always create more for you to join)and really want to give this up for good. Tomorrow will be a new start for me so I hope that I can finally stop this horrible addiction and get back to being happy and doing normal things without thinking about what I can bet on next.

Any advice or support will be greatly appreciated. Thanks J

 

 

 

Posted on:
Wed, 02/05/2018 - 23:00

Poblwc

Joined:
2015-01-18

Register with gamstop as well 

Posted on:
Thu, 03/05/2018 - 16:52

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Thanks, I tried to but for some reason it didn’t like my post code and said it was invalid.

Posted on:
Thu, 03/05/2018 - 16:59

ITDamo

Joined:
2016-01-26

G100 wrote:

Thanks, I tried to but for some reason it didn’t like my post code and said it was invalid.

Hi G100 I had similar issues getting signed up. Give them a quick call and worst case they will tell you what you need to do to manually sign up.

They sent me out a form which i filled in straight away, took some pictures of proof of address etc they required on my phone and then uploaded them all on to a link that they sent me.

Little bit of effort but worth it in the long run.

Damo

 

Posted on:
Fri, 04/05/2018 - 09:20

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Thanks Damo, i’ll Give that a go. 

Posted on:
Fri, 04/05/2018 - 15:17

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

So I gambled today and already lining up some footy bets for later. It doesn’t matter how much you say to yourself “don’t do it”, the mind decides that it’s ok as one last time. Will I ever give up? Maybe when the football season ends...maybe!!

Lost again, and am now skint. Tomorrow will be a new start and hopefully I can stick to it this time. 

Posted on:
Sat, 05/05/2018 - 01:19

davey

Joined:
Before 2009

Please don't underestimate how difficult it can be to stop - it's like a drug, and you're addicted. Can you hand over control of your cards to your wife ? If you remember the security numbers maybe report all of the cards lost & let your wife have all of the replacements ? So many gamblers have lost families or never made them in the first place due to gambling addiction. Please try to reset yourself and appreciate what you currently maybe take for granted. Can't you find pleasure in family stuff ? Also not sure if you gamble on PC or phone but if PC you can download a free gambling site blocker - TXNogam - for 28 days, and I think there's also a free one around now. Please don't underestimate how difficult it can be to stay stopped - it's a lot of hard work... have you tried GA ? Gamcare counselling etc ? Think about going beyond the surface of why you gamble delve deeper as it seems you're just scratching the surface as to why you gamble hence the not managing to stop. Have a look in the 'relatives' section on here for insight on how it can make partners / families feel. It isn't just about you anymore is it ? Is it really worth indulging when that deprives the people who you love who depend on you ?

Posted on:
Sun, 06/05/2018 - 21:49

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Thanks for the advice. I’ve tried stopping a few times and as far as my wife is concerned I have. She stuck by me once but can’t tell her that i’ve Got myself in a mess again. I am determined to stop from this point onwards though and pay off the gambling debts that I have run up again. I always convince myself that i’m Doing it for entertainment and also to win some money for the family, however I know that i’ve Just been selfish all these years and ultimately gambled away loads of money even though I knew I was being a mug at the time. Sometimes it got to the point where it doesn’t matter if you win or lose and I seem to go in a trance until I’ve lost everything. Anyway tomorrow is another day and the start of my gambling free life again. Really need to stop now. It doesn’t help when gambling adverts are everywhere.....as they say “when the fun stops, stop”. Well the fun stopped about 5 years ago so I think it’s about time I stop.

Posted on:
Mon, 07/05/2018 - 22:08

TM1985

Joined:
2016-05-30

know exactly how you feel G100. How can something so destructive keep luring us back in? I urge you to stop the cycle now - I was in same boat recently and I can tell you are struggling to let the losses go. I fell off the wagon after 18months gamble free and wish I came here and faced upto it straight away. Intead I kept gambling the past 6 months and I'm in thousands more debt! Relapsed in Nov, half heartedly came here in Feb but then slipped away only to return another 10k in debt a few months later. Somewhat similar to your figure. If you don't take the right steps now then it will be £20k, £30k the longer you leave it - the bigger that number will become. It's such a tough ride bud, like you the fun stopped for me years ago. Time for us both to tackle this properly for good!

Posted on:
Mon, 07/05/2018 - 23:30

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Thank you for your comments. Managed not to gamble today and hopefully can stay strong. I’m self excluded from every bookie online that I know so that makes things easier. Just need to stay out of the bookie shops when I go back to work tomorrow. I think I will but it’s so hard letting the gambling debt go.....it’s always there in my thoughts and that’s when I get down and ratty. I know that the only way is to go cold turkey and pay the debts off every month....I did stop this time last year for 6 months and I was the happiest i’ve Been for a long time so I know  that it’s the right thing to do. I wish I never started again buts it’s doen now so i’ll Have to face up to things again and try not to think about what an idiot i’ve Been again. I’m fortunate that I have a good job which covers the debts but it leaves me skint each month when really I should have ample spare cash to live a very comfortable life, 2 loans and a CC now to pay off so it’s going to be a tough 5 years and I need to stay positive knowing that every year the debt will reduce significantly and things will get better. It’s the guilt that eats you up when I look at my wife and kids faces. I hope you can stay strong also and that we can fight this battle and win.

Posted on:
Tue, 08/05/2018 - 12:43

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

ITDamo]</p> <p>[quote=G100 wrote:

Thanks, I tried to but for some reason it didn’t like my post code and said it was invalid.

Hi G100 I had similar issues getting signed up. Give them a quick call and worst case they will tell you what you need to do to manually sign up.

They sent me out a form which i filled in straight away, took some pictures of proof of address etc they required on my phone and then uploaded them all on to a link that they sent me.

Little bit of effort but worth it in the long run.

Damo

 

Managed to register with Gamstop so hopefully that puts a stop to any online gambling activities. Thanks for the advice.

Posted on:
Tue, 08/05/2018 - 16:10

ITDamo

Joined:
2016-01-26

Hi G100,

Next one for you if you struggle with bookies. Havent used it myself but there was an old thread that talks about being able to exclude fropm multiple bookies at once. The tel number is 0800 294 2060. Give them a call.

Will power is a great tool but make as much effort you need to get those blockers in place...make gambling as difficult as it can be.

Totally understand your issue about your debt. Mine was between 40/50k and is now down to just above 20k so we are not talking small numbers. Was tough to deal at the begining but I now enjoy watching it come down. It gives me a sort of satisfaction and It serves as a reminder to me on how much destruction can be done by gambling.

Damo

Posted on:
Tue, 08/05/2018 - 18:18

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Thanks Damo, I might try that also but my main issue has always been online gambling and specifically roulette. I used to gamble sensibly until one night when i’d Had a drink and just thought i’d Have a go for a laugh and entertainment. I  Actually won about £500 but the next day I lost that plus £1000 on top. Then the cycle started of trying to win it back. As we all know that never happens and eventually I had debts that had spiralled out of control. 5 years later here I am, however I do feel different from other times and before i’d Only exclude for 6 months as in the back of my mind I thought i’d Give it a rest and then go back and play sensibly.....that never happens unfortunately as would love to just do an accumulator on the football and then leave it for a week. Being a compulsive gambler that led to bet after bet on all sorts of football matches and ultimately goal bets where I always lost by one goal. Anyway 2 days down and haven’t thought of gambling today. Have read lots of stories on here which certainly help and the support and advice is very much appreciated. Thanks J

Posted on:
Wed, 09/05/2018 - 18:11

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

At the football tonight, and i’ve not contemplated gambling today. 3 days down.

Posted on:
Thu, 10/05/2018 - 18:51

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Nearly 4 days down GF, feels good. Been talking to the wife and playing with the kids which makes a change to following football scores on my phone. Big 3 days coming up for me as Friday is normally when it all starts and then i’ll Be chasing losses Saturday and Sunday. I have about £100 to last till payday and normally I would gamble this away. My challenge now is to only spend money on normal things and get to Monday GF.....that will be 7 days then and my first major milestone in this constant battle that I am determined to beat. With GamStop in place I feel confident that I won’t have the opportunity apart from tomorrow to go into the bookies so that’s what I need to avoid. 

Posted on:
Fri, 11/05/2018 - 14:32

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

So it’s 2.30pm on Friday and my mind is telling me to put a bet on. “It’s only for entertainment and you could win a couple of hundred”.....temptation is really setting in but I need to stay strong. I keep logging in to Gam care and reading the stories for inspiration and to help me resist this burning urge to go to the bookies. I must stay strong and get through today. Please God give me the strength to give this up. 

Posted on:
Fri, 11/05/2018 - 14:39

ITDamo

Joined:
2016-01-26

Hi G100,

No such thing as a poor bookie....there is always only one winner in our cases.

The beginning is always the toughest but dont let it beat you.

Keep going

Damo

 

Posted on:
Fri, 11/05/2018 - 15:09

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Thanks Damo, i’ve Been here before and know that this is the toughest part. If I can get through today and the weekend then I will be pretty confident that I can stop for good. I did think that last time though and after 6 months GF I started again and can’t even remember why. I think I thought i’d Beat it and I could just put an accumulator on and go back to being normal like my mates. I’ve now realised that the only way to beat this is to stop completely as one bet will lead to another and ultimately the Roulette will get me again somehow. I need to accept that the losses are gone and start to pay off what I can each month and get it down bit by bit.....easier said than done unfortunately but will certainly give it a good try. Anyway thanks for your support and for now I will not Gamble.

Posted on:
Fri, 11/05/2018 - 19:01

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

The good news is that I avoided the bookies, so I will definitely get to 5 day GF. However I just checked the goal bet that I do every Friday and Sod’s law it has already won, goals everywhere and the games haven’t even reached 70 mins yet. Wish i’d Never checked now, however I had to laugh cos it’s the normal mind games that this addiction wants to play. Well it hasn’t worked for today and I am still determined to give this up for good. 

Posted on:
Fri, 11/05/2018 - 19:31

wittle71

Joined:
2018-04-17

Exactly. That's what happens to suck you back in . Like your numbers on roulette coming in when you've got nowt on them . It's a trap pal

Posted on:
Fri, 11/05/2018 - 20:33

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

I know too well mate unfortunately. I wish i’d Just stuck to football bets then maybe I wouldn’t be in this mess. Roulette is the route to all evil and i’m Sure has crippled most people on this site. Anyway i’m Trying to not look back and trying to focus on the future, which is a life without gambling. Good luck on your battle also as i’m Sure we are pretty similar and on the same days GF.

Posted on:
Fri, 11/05/2018 - 21:53

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Guess what, the other league I always do for a goal bet also would have won. Really hard to understand how this can happen, it’s like the gambling god teasing me so that I fold and go back my destructive ways. Luckily I signed up the GamStop so online access is not possible. I’m sure I could try something but tonight has given me the right hump as I know this has what has got me in the trouble in the past. I won’t gamble now and hopefully ever again. Time to really focus on what is important as I look as my kids pictures on the wall. It’s not too late to find myself again and be a good husband and Dad. That’s what I want more than anything. 

Posted on:
Sun, 13/05/2018 - 09:20

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Big day today to get to 7 days GF. Last day of the premiership and the temptation is there to gamble. Need to stay strong and think of the family. 

Posted on:
Sun, 13/05/2018 - 09:33

Plumdoll

Joined:
2018-05-11

Morning

Try keep busy to keep your mind of the football. I’m only on day 2 so we’ll done for hitting day 7! I’m worried about World Cup as I know they’ll be a pool at work, how do I get out of joining in?! I’ve always loved the banter of the whole thing at work. 

Good luck and keep strong

Plumdoll 

Posted on:
Sun, 13/05/2018 - 20:24

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Thanks plumdoll, managed to get through the day GF. Was like a bear with a sore head all day though as the mind is constantly putting gambling thoughts in my brain and I start to convince myself that it’s the last game of the season so a little bet won’t hurt. Anyway another day down and hopefully I can continue my battle with success. I must admit i’m Pretty confident that I won’t bet on the World Cup because England are so bad there is nothing to get excited about. 

Posted on:
Mon, 14/05/2018 - 16:48

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

8 days GF. Feeling good but staying focused, as I know that if I drop my guard I will be back to square one.

Posted on:
Tue, 15/05/2018 - 21:03

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

9 days GF....feeeling good today and in a better mood than i’ve Been in for a long time. Trying to forget about the losses as that’s done and won’t be coming back. Onwards and upwards For a gambling free life.

Posted on:
Wed, 16/05/2018 - 09:29

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Day 10 and i’m In a really bad mood today. Ratty and depressed for no real reason. Probably the gambling debts in the back of my mind and the fact that they haven’t gone down yet as I haven’t been paid. I think the boredom is a main factor too. I usually go the gym but I did some ligament damage to my knee so can’t at the moment. The gym was always a good alternative in the past so I need to get back down there soon. I need to stay focused and remember what Gambiing has done to me, one step at a time I hope that the gambling urges will drain from my body and that with time my mood swings will cease. 5 years to pay off this debt is a long hard slog but i’m Determined to get there and i’m Sure that with every month that passes it will become easier and I will start to see the benefit of the debt reducing. Anyway off out tonight for a work drink up so need to stay focused as I am at my weakest and most vulnerable when drunk. No gambling today.

Posted on:
Wed, 16/05/2018 - 22:53

wittle71

Joined:
2018-04-17

How's it going

Posted on:
Wed, 16/05/2018 - 23:12

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Hi wittle71, thanks for your comment and concern. I appreciate that people are looking out for me. I’ve had a great night with work and am now standing at the bus stop looking at the bookies thinking **** you. Life is so much better if you don’t even contemplate gambling. I’m still early days and have done 6 months before but it actually feels different this time, as though i’ve finally realise that this is it and i’ve Left no doors ajar....GamStop is a massive bonus..i’m Not sure if it does actually stop me accessing sites online but i’m  Proud of the fact that I haven’t even tried. I hope you are doing well also, as j know that it’s easy to get consumed in your own issues.

Posted on:
Thu, 17/05/2018 - 08:16

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Day 11 and feeling good, even with a hangover. Nothing better that watching the news saying that the maximum stake for FOBT will now reduce from £100 to £2....best news ever and about time. Hate Roulette with a passion, and I hope this will apply to online roulette also as this is what gets most people in trouble as it doesn’t feel like real money. 

Posted on:
Fri, 18/05/2018 - 14:52

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

I’m really struggling today, my mind is urging me to gamble and i’m Fighting it the best that I can. If it wasn’t for the debts I wouldn’t be tempted but the thought of this long hard slog to be debt free is eating me up. I know that if I buckle and gamble it will put me back to square one but this is not easy. How did I get myself in this situation? On the outside i’m Happy as if I haven’t got a care in the world, but really I am so ashamed of what an idiot i’ve Been. 

Posted on:
Fri, 18/05/2018 - 18:47

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Managed to resist the urges and am now home from work. With GamStop in place I now feel comfortable that another day will pass gamble free. Happy days.

Posted on:
Sun, 20/05/2018 - 00:16

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Another day down GF, things seem to be getting easier however I know that the battle has only just started.

Posted on:
Sun, 20/05/2018 - 19:12

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

2 weeks GF.

Posted on:
Mon, 21/05/2018 - 05:06

Martin67

Joined:
2010-08-17

Well done mate. Two weeks is a good achievement. 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 21/05/2018 - 09:22

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Thanks Martin67, feeling pretty proud actually and so much more happier than when I was gambling. Early days however hopefully I can continue and never Gamble again....as we all know it ruins our lives as well as our families. Good luck in your journey also.

Posted on:
Mon, 21/05/2018 - 21:12

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Another day down GF, feels like it’s getting easier and no real urges to gamble. Payday tomorrow but i’ve Still got money left in my account which is a first. 

Posted on:
Tue, 22/05/2018 - 21:58

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Payday today and not one thought about gambling. Maybe i’ve Finally turned the corner and realised that a life without gambling is a happy life. 

Posted on:
Thu, 24/05/2018 - 12:50

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Day 18 today GF, still feeling positive and trying to keep the thoughts of the gambling debt at the back of my mind. How long can I withstand those thoughts is the question? 

Posted on:
Sat, 26/05/2018 - 12:44

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Day 20 today GF. In a ratty mood and I think it’s because of the betting withdrawal symptoms. There’s no other reason for it. Anyway i’m Still not tempted to put a bet on so here’s to another weekend free of this horrible addiction. 

Posted on:
Sun, 27/05/2018 - 20:30

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Day 21 = 3 weeks. Progress at least. My mind is gradually not thinking about gambling which is good, however the gambling debts are still at the forefront of my mind. That will only get better after years so the challenge is to withstand the thoughts of gambling to win the money back to pay off the debts. Those thoughts will always be there. Anyway another day down but I know the battle has only just begun.

Posted on:
Tue, 29/05/2018 - 20:51

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Another day, another struggle. My mood is relatively low and I am ratty some days and perfectly happy on others. Hopefully as the days add up my moods will lighten. I still think they are connected to the gambling. Maybe it’s the debts or maybe it’s the void that gambling has left...when I say that I mean the entertainment and excitement that it brings, not the massive lows when more money has been chucked down the drain. I know that this is the right thing to do, and I will stay strong.

Posted on:
Tue, 29/05/2018 - 21:13

sjw

Joined:
2017-10-27

Hello G100

Well done on what you've done so far. I was very up and down mood wise for a few months. Its a total life change. Your body and mind has SO much to process. Gambling blocks so much of life out but now you are starting to face it. Soon you will be embracing the positive effects, just ride it out. It does get SO much better if you just keep making that choice to not gamble each day.

All the best.

Posted on:
Wed, 30/05/2018 - 08:32

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Thanks SJW, I hope that you are right as the mood swings are causing some problems with my wife and I find it difficult to explain as it doesn’t even sound normal to me when i’m Saying it. I don’t think I can expect anyone to really understand unless that have been through the same illness and battle. I don’t want to gamble but that doesn’t mean that the thoughts aren’t constantly there. I think I need to focus on the future and not the debt because that is the major factor in my moods/depression. 24 days GF.

Posted on:
Sat, 02/06/2018 - 20:26

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

27 days GF. Found it fairly easy this weekend so staying positive that I can beat this forever.

Posted on:
Sat, 02/06/2018 - 23:24

worrieddotcom123

Joined:
2018-06-02

Well done G100!! Been following your story with interest and so felt i should message you to congratulate you on your journey so far. My Son is 2 days free and ive told him to keep an eye out for your continuing battle. You might become my Sons inspiration, no pressure then eh!!!  One day at a time

Posted on:
Sun, 03/06/2018 - 04:26

silee70

Joined:
2018-05-18

Well done, keep it going!

Posted on:
Sun, 03/06/2018 - 20:40

Losingcolour92

Joined:
2017-08-11

Well done g100 great news on coming up to a month gamble fee it is an amazing feeling. Reading your story I see you, like myself and many others on here are struggling to forget about the gambling debts and where you could be now had you not ran them up. 

I remember somebody telling me that the gambling debts are good to have there as a reminder of why we are where we are and a reminder of why we shouldn’t go back gambling ....don’t get me wrong we all want rid of them but you get what I’m saying. Hopefully when the debts are paid you are stable and in control. Some people say cured but it’s clear that gambling addictions cannot be cured ever but managed instead.  Good luck mate and keep it going 

Posted on:
Sun, 03/06/2018 - 21:35

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

Hi Worrieddotcom123, Silee70 and Losingcolour92 thank you all for taking the time to comment on my post. Another day down GF. It was my Son’s birthday today so we took him to the Zoo and it was so nice to concentrate on him and my family and watching them have fun, rather that checking my phone for bets that I would have had on. I’m still trying to face up to what an idiot i’ve been however i’ve Come to realise that it is only money and it’s my family that is important. That money is gone and if I just forget about it and pay the DD’s every month then it will reduce without me needed to do anything. Chasing losses like I used to for the last 5 years only made me more in debt, depressed, selfish, inconsiderate, ratty and a serious liar. I used to hate the person looking back at me in the mirror. Now I can actually look at myself and see a clear plan forward, which is Gambling free. I wish you all the best on your personal challenges for you or your family.....we can beat this. GAMSTOP was a massive stepping stone for me, however you need to really want to give up and shut all those doors otherwise the temptation will get the better of you eventually. 

Posted on:
Wed, 06/06/2018 - 08:20

G100

Joined:
2018-05-02

31 days GF. Sitting here quite content thinking about the money I have saved over that period. Managed to pay a few hundred of my debts and have avoided a months worth of stress and heartache. Here’s to a better life without Gambling. The battle has only just begun, but I will win this war. Have a good GF day everyone.

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