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#1 Posted on:
Wed, 29/11/2017 - 16:30

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Thought it was time to start a new thread as although have remained GF (phew)Have been working too much and neglecting my diary which has been my saviour along with everyone on this forum. So from now on even if there's not much to say I want to leave something her. Also still feel bogged down with debts etc but am with Payplan but because I was in debt before gambling (yes madness) I strive to be debtfree whilst being able to live S:) 

Posted on:
Wed, 29/11/2017 - 17:45

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Hi Sharon ,

Well done for staying strong ! I know it’s easy to say to forget about the debts but time flies and it will soon be all cleared . Keep up the good work :)

Sars

Posted on:
Wed, 29/11/2017 - 20:54

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

You are such a kind and considerate person to other forum users including me. All the best, Phil.

Posted on:
Thu, 30/11/2017 - 10:22

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

@Sars27 thanks so much for your supportive words as always. I'm sticking with odaat but also making mini goals financially and personally for a brighter future.

@Phil72  thanks for posting and being a constant source of advice and compassion.

Today I'm just going with this 'It'S not a matter of letting go-you would if you could. Instead of let it go we should probably say let it be' take care S:)

Posted on:
Thu, 30/11/2017 - 14:50

Matt 24

Joined:
2012-04-25

Sharon,

Pleased to read you are still going strong. The debts being with Payplan is a good thing, will take the heat off you from your creditors. You will get debt free one day and imagine that sense of achievement when you do.

Take care.

Matt

Posted on:
Fri, 01/12/2017 - 09:49

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

So 1st December is here and for the first time in years I don't feel the financial stress that gambling put upon me for the last 5 years, havevoaid bills and have enough for a comfortable time. I know Miley Cyrus is a bit marmite but the lyrics of 'the climb' are worth a listen. Take care all S:)

Posted on:
Sun, 03/12/2017 - 23:21

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Have had a full day doing house stuff, including getting the Xmas gear out of the loft. Really looking forward to a comfortable time not stressing about money, has been a long time coming! Absolutely no room in my life for gambling and the misery it brings, take care S:)

Posted on:
Mon, 04/12/2017 - 08:33

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Hi Sharon

Thank you for your kind words on my diary it means a lot. Stressing out about money is about what we see and what others have and we want a piece of that car or a better house or things we think we need, so whats the quickest way to get that, lets look around, "Ahh Gambling" - Mr A Smith from Derby holding his 5 million pound massive check with a glass of champage " On my first ever £10 deposit I scooped the jackpot on my 30p spin" and there they are loads of winners holding massive checks. We will have some of that we find out the games and start plugging away a few times and we can hit it " Please be the big one" fingers crossed oh no so close just £40 this time or the bonus that never gets near the centre, delve in deeper and the odds of winning are in the trillions 234,000,000,000-1 a mugs game, like you say it brings misery as eveyday people chase hopeless dreams and in the process leave a mountain of debt in our trails. More and more companies jump on the casino bandwagon as the riches it brings for super rich folks not caring that a nation is secrely addicted, they dont care. Keep going Sharon you are an inspiration to others, enjoy Christmas for what it is x

Posted on:
Thu, 07/12/2017 - 09:37

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Day 266 Thanks Smashed, always really useful to have inputas I must admit sometimes I feel isolated and moving at snails pace. I agree with you, every penny you spend makes the hole deeper to get out of. After Christmas I will hopefully be working a little less and have a few hours more to myself as at present I'm stuck in a work/housework cycle and feel like a whinge but need something for me. Here's to a GF future with a clear head and a spring in our step.  Take care S:)

Posted on:
Thu, 07/12/2017 - 09:52

Phil72

Joined:
2016-10-07

Hi Sharon.

Just to say supportively that I've got a few hundred pounds left to pay through StepChange who have helped me enormously. It's great to be able to see the finishing line ahead and after I've cleared my gambling debts I will strive to maintain the one day at a time approach.

Another great example of the benefits of being gamble-free is that I had to have private treatment for a problem with my right ear as I could not possibly wait to see an NHS consultant. I would never have been able to afford it if I'd continued to gamble.

Everyday bet-free is a great day despite adversity and ups and downs.

Best wishes as always, Phil.

Posted on:
Fri, 08/12/2017 - 09:15

Loxxie

Joined:
2016-01-15

Hey Sharon. .
Thanks for popping over to my diary. ..I'm glad it helps you..
Look at yours days mounting up love...huge respect to you for fighting the fight..
I get what you're saying about
"Life standing still "
For me it was kind of ..."so this is it now then "
I suppose because we spent so much time gambling we have to rebuild our routines...
It's an ever changing journey love....
I tend to go with the flow now...
Deal with things as they crop up...
As best as I can....
It's my life now...im not a slot machines prisoner. ...
The stage will pass love...limbo land is not for ever...it's just another part of the journey....
You're getting stronger and stronger all the time....
Be kind to yourself. ...xx

Posted on:
Fri, 08/12/2017 - 09:49

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

@Loxxie your kind, thoughtful words mean so much Thank you. Really looking forward to the weekend, Christmas Dec's up tonight then a rare night out tomorrow. Hope everyone has a fun weekend planned, I realise now that gambling sucked me dry of good feelings....joy, positivity, motivation etc all went out the window, But I'm gradually getting them back. It's hard to break the cycle but when you do it shows you what you'very been missing. Take care S:)

Posted on:
Fri, 08/12/2017 - 12:51

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hi Sharon.Thankyou for posting on my diary, the support has kept my spirits up.

Great day in sunny Hull, blue skies and chilly but still a lovely day. I sm feeling better today although still chest pains and breathing's not too good. Going to haul my sorry backside off to a 'five rhythm dance' tonight, told the dj i'll sit out quite a bit but will be good to join in the fun.

Tormented a bit with urges to gamble, the addiction trying to fill my head with the usual nonsense. Feel strong enough to keep saying NO but it does frighten me to be honest. Loxxie's post struck a chord as I do feel like i'm in limbo at the moment. The misery of a gambling binge not far behind me and sometimes recovery just seems to be so far away. I will keep your advice in mind and take one day at a time cos I know that will work for me. A month ago everything was looking rosy so I need to get that mindset back. Sorry if I've rambled on a bit. Take care. Stephen x

 

Posted on:
Fri, 08/12/2017 - 15:37

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Enjoy your night out tommorow Sharon dont get too drunk, get tipsy, well super tipsy is allowed, just enjoy yourself because like you say gambling will take your money but once it's done that then it affects you, your mood, your persona, your interaction as you cant just shake it off like a duck shakes off water it hurts to lose your money for nothing and then you have to adjust to compromise your losses while still keeping that brave front on like its all gravy. Have a good weekend :-)

Posted on:
Sat, 09/12/2017 - 09:52

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Smashed
Thanks, will enjoy but am quite good at knowing where to draw the line! Things are sloely slotting into place financially and I have made mini, realistic goals. Havr a great weekend S:)

Posted on:
Sun, 10/12/2017 - 12:32

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Well I survived my night out, which was rather tame! and only spent £20. Went out with a good friend who has had a really rough year but we made a pact to be kind to ourselves and make more time to have fun. Off out to buy a new diary, set a realistic budget and carry on kicking gambling butt. Happy Sunday, take care S:)

Posted on:
Mon, 11/12/2017 - 00:20

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Love the message in your last post Sharon. "Went out with a good friend who has had a really rough year but we made a pact to be kind to ourselves and make more time to have fun."

That's what life should be all about: having fun, accepting responsibility, showing kindness and respect to ourselves and others whilst being there for our friends and loved ones.

The alternative involves bowing down before the slots and fobts of fat cat gambling companies who love to see lost souls on their knees feeling utterly wretched and living a tormented nightmare.

After what we have all been through, it beggars belief that any of us would go back to gambling. Sadly though it is a very difficult addiction to overcome and requires a lot of courage and determination. People like yourself are both an inspiration and a reminder that it can be done so keep blazing that trail. Respectfully yours. Stephen.

 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 11/12/2017 - 11:06

Matt 24

Joined:
2012-04-25

Hi Sharon

270 days, well done and glad you are realising that you are allowed to enjoy yourself. You are doing brilliantly keep it up.

Matt

Posted on:
Mon, 11/12/2017 - 16:13

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Day 270

Stephen thank you for your thoughtful post, indeed life isn't a 24/7 hoot but we all deserve happiness,  things to look forward to and a treat now and then, gambling removed any good thoughts or feelings, I can see that more than ever now.Take care my friend S:)

Matt Thanks it's taken a long time to have that L'Oréal moment 'you're worth it' Everyones worth it! For a long time I felt like an outside looking in in what life could be like and I'm gradually getting there. Hope you have many happy memo from your trip, take care S:) 

Posted on:
Fri, 15/12/2017 - 15:47

Matt 24

Joined:
2012-04-25

Day 274, closing in on the triple century girl, well played.

Thanks for your post on my diary, as always appreciated. I hope you enjoy the Weeekend too :-)

Matt

Posted on:
Sat, 16/12/2017 - 15:42

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hi Sharon hope your happy and well. 

Love your approach to recovery, when addiction comes calling you just say NO. Wonderful how you have always stood your ground with hope, courage and resilience.

No if's or but's or why me's. You decided enough was enough and set about rebuilding your life.

My dream is for a gamble free 2018.... Ps I've got a new thread.

 

 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 18/12/2017 - 23:33

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hi Sharon. Thank you for posting on my new thread.

Glad you enjoy singing "The Impossible Dream." It seems to me that you have turned the impossible dream into a reality and you have done it with style. Total respect for your recovery and the way you have gone about it.

I look forward to following your journey into 2018 and beyond. I'm on a mission to stay gamble free for the full year and I know I can do it with friends like you alongside me.

Posted on:
Fri, 22/12/2017 - 10:26

Matt 24

Joined:
2012-04-25

Hi Sharon

Thanks for your comments on my diary and your continued kind words and support. I hope you have a wonderful gamble free Christmas and santa is kind to you this year.

Enjoy and take care.

Matt

Posted on:
Sun, 24/12/2017 - 00:26

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Sharon. Hope your happy and well. Thankyou so much for all your help and support during 2017. 

Wishing you every happiness over christmas and the new year.

Looking forward to sharing the journey with you for a full gamble free year in 2018...stephen 

Posted on:
Sun, 24/12/2017 - 15:56

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Hi Sharon,

Wishing you a very merry Christmas and a wonderful GF 2018  ! 

Sars 

Posted on:
Wed, 27/12/2017 - 07:11

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Thanks for posting on my diary Sharon. Lets look forward to 2018 :-)

Posted on:
Wed, 27/12/2017 - 18:48

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Sharon, hope your happy and well.

Only a couple of weeks and you will be 300 days gamble free. Your journey has been absolutely wonderful and you have shown me what can be achieved if I choose to stay strong and behave with courage and determination. 

Look forward to joining you on the recovery road in 2018. Take care...stephen x x  (I'm holding up some mistletoe).

 

Posted on:
Thu, 28/12/2017 - 09:38

Who am I

Joined:
2017-05-17

All the best for the New Year Sharon. 

Thank you for all of your help and support along the way.

xxx

Posted on:
Fri, 29/12/2017 - 20:13

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Sharon. You are a shining example to others in so many ways. Looking forward. Working hard. Paying off debts. And refusing to let the past activities of despair cloud your judgement.

Good on you. Wishing you a fruitful 2018.

Posted on:
Fri, 29/12/2017 - 20:40

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Thanks so much Change,  likewise!! Been a winding road but am really looking forward to 2018. Best wishes and here's to a bright, GF future S:)

Posted on:
Sun, 31/12/2017 - 10:14

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Sharon Superstar congratulations on 290 days gamble free.

Loved following your journey in 2017. Never wavering you have just kept going forward with a smile on your face and a heart full of hope. Truly an inspiration and I hope to follow your example.

I'm going to join the 2018 Challenge, the thought of a full calender year not gambling really gives me a nice feeling.

Wishing you peace, contentment and happy days in 2018....stephen x 

 

Posted on:
Sun, 31/12/2017 - 19:33

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Thank you Stephen, as always kind words an a shining light. Happy New Year everyone and here's to a GF and peaceful 2018 Sx

Posted on:
Mon, 01/01/2018 - 12:41

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Day 291 Happy New Year everyone! ! Feeling positive about the New Year and making micro plans financially and personally but sticking to odaat as find big goals overwhelming, enjoying last day before work starts again. Take care and here's to a GF 2018 Sx

Posted on:
Wed, 03/01/2018 - 10:20

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Day 293 Feeling abnormally chipper as January is usually dreary and a festive hangover. But after X amount of years have had the light bulb moment that the only person that can change things for me is me! So have 2-3 things I really want to do and the only thing preventing them is me so need to make sure this doesn't happen.  Hope this positivit lasts, take care S:)

Posted on:
Sat, 06/01/2018 - 13:42

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Sharon. Wishing you a good weekend.

Next wednesday will see you 300 days into your recovery, that is wonderful. So very proud of the courage you have displayed and you certainly brighten up the recovery road with your humour and honesty plus the support you give to your gamcare friends.

I am going to follow your example...stephen x 

 

Posted on:
Sat, 06/01/2018 - 21:18

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Oh my - nearly 300 days!!!
Sharon, you're a shining example.
No wonder you're feeling chipper. Watch out world - Sharons coming to get ya!!
You go girl!! Xx

Posted on:
Sun, 07/01/2018 - 11:03

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Day 297 @Astainer Stephen, what can I say? You have been a consistent supporter and friend since joining and I am so grateful to you and many others to know I'm not alone. This has been a fundamental factor to ongoing recovery. I have finally learnt that I was in a cycle of self punishment with gambling and no one deserves that, stay strong x

@Lml Thank you!! We are all in this together nd are claiming back our lives which are for living! X

Even though I have a stinker of a cold and it's January am trying to maintain a positive outlook and am making small changes to obtain goals. But the underlying base is to make it to bedtime everyday GF. Happy Sunday and lets make 2018 our year, take care S:)

Posted on:
Mon, 08/01/2018 - 09:11

Smashed

Joined:
2017-08-13

Two more days and the big 300 ticks over, somehow makes me think of the film a film about choices which in some freaky way relates to gambling. Dont worry about a cold it will soon be gone, stick with the positivety and enjoy every day, smile about something and keep searching :-)

Posted on:
Mon, 08/01/2018 - 20:49

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Thanks Smashed, yeah the cold is nothing...at least I'm not a man lol otherwise I would be bed ridden!. Feels really exciting to go into 2018 GF and with endless possibilities. My eyes have bern opened to what life should be, take care S:)

Posted on:
Mon, 08/01/2018 - 21:08

Cellochick

Joined:
2018-01-08

Phil72 wrote:

Hi Sharon.

Just to say supportively that I've got a few hundred pounds left to pay through StepChange who have helped me enormously. It's great to be able to see the finishing line ahead and after I've cleared my gambling debts I will strive to maintain the one day at a time approach.

Another great example of the benefits of being gamble-free is that I had to have private treatment for a problem with my right ear as I could not possibly wait to see an NHS consultant. I would never have been able to afford it if I'd continued to gamble.

Everyday bet-free is a great day despite adversity and ups and downs.

Best wishes as always, Phil.


Hi phil, im new. I was reading this thread and noticed you are with step change, I am too but I'm just at the start. Can you tell me about your journey? Im feeling like I'm standing at the bottom of Everest and the minute and can't see a way over?

Posted on:
Tue, 09/01/2018 - 18:45

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hi Sharon. Sorry you have had a cold and hope your on the mend. Sending you a get well hug.

Tomorrow you will be 300 Days Gamble Free. That is a massive achievement and I know it has not been easy. You have battled feelings of shame and guilt, coped with taunting from the addiction and struggled to address your financial difficulties. In my eyes you are a hero and I am proud to be your friend.

At midnight I will be giving the air a mini punch and singing out; "Yihaaaa Sharon Superstar." 

Wishing you well...stephen 

Posted on:
Tue, 09/01/2018 - 22:43

changemylife

Joined:
2016-11-02

Well done Sharon for achieving each and every giant step in your recovery on the way to reclaiming your life. You have shown a real strength and determination, which ultimately will result in you becoming debt free and ready to take on any challenges you face.

The down to earth advice and support you have given is fully appreciated, as well as your sense of humour.

Keep on doing the right things and you will thrive and prosper. Small steps - big targets. Because you're worth it!

Posted on:
Wed, 10/01/2018 - 07:31

Sars27

Joined:
2017-06-02

Happy 300 GF DAYS Sharon!!!! Such an amazing milestone to achieve . Much respect and salute!

Sars 

Posted on:
Wed, 10/01/2018 - 11:57

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Day 300 

@changemylife thanks so much for your kind words, I have found your journey inspirational and a good reference point. At the beginning I felt hopeless and that I would be stuck in the gambling cycle forever. Slowly but surely things change, days pass and moving forward happens, even if you don't notice x

@Sars27 Thank you! I do have a spring in my step today, for the 1st time in many years the New Year feels like it'S filled with opportunities and hope instead of dread and fear. Here's to a GF year and beyond x

Massive thanks to everyone here the feeling of not being 'the only one' has been half my battle and reading encouraging and positive words has got me through some dark times. I feel more in control than ever of who I am,  what I'm doing and where I'm going, Gambling stole this from me but I willing let it, but day by day I'm getting it back. Financially it may take me a long time to get back on track but mentally I am in a different space and if I can make it through each day GF I can ask no more of myself  Happy Wednesday Sx

Posted on:
Wed, 10/01/2018 - 12:20

Markman

Joined:
2011-12-14

Massive well done on 300 days Sharon. You really deserve it and very much look forward to congratulating you on the magic 365.

Best wishes,

Markman

Posted on:
Wed, 10/01/2018 - 19:27

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Hello Sharon. Hope you are having had a lovely day celebrating your amazing 300 Days Gamble Free.

So very proud of you as it is a wonderful achievement. You have certainly come a long way on your journey.

I asked my angels to bring you a nice bouquet of flowers. You probably won't be aware of them, but as they will have the angels blessings you might notice their delicate fragrance wafting around. 

Take care...stephen 

 

 

Posted on:
Wed, 10/01/2018 - 19:38

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Hi Stephen, have had a very busy day but felt joyous that I have gone from feeling utterly hopeless in every way to feeling like a semi normal human.Days 0-100 were intense and I felt extreme emotions about anything and everything. I feel so incredibly grateful to this forum and it's members, if I wasn't here who knows where I would be now? I obviously regret gambling but I have learnt a lot about myself over the last 300 days possibly more than the rest of my adult life.  Thanks for everything and let us continue our journey united against gambling take care x

Posted on:
Wed, 10/01/2018 - 20:22

Little miss lost

Joined:
2016-05-24

Whoop whoop!! Well done Sharon 300 days - fantastic achievement.
I aim to follow in your footsteps.
Wishing you many well-deserved happy days!! : ) x

Posted on:
Thu, 11/01/2018 - 07:45

Who am I

Joined:
2017-05-17

Amazing to see Sharon, brings a tear to my eye of happiness x 

Posted on:
Thu, 11/01/2018 - 20:55

Sharon41

Joined:
2017-03-16

Thank you Who am I, great to hear from you and hope all ok? Sx

Posted on:
Sun, 14/01/2018 - 09:00

Stephen The Strong

Joined:
2017-05-10

Morning Sharon. Hope your having a good weekend.

Just been reading through your diary looking for ideas to strengthen my resolve and to recognise my weaknesses.

You have experienced all the negative emotions that I would associate with coming off the gambling addiction. Sadness, regret, shame, anger, fear, loneliness and bitterness. All typical withdrawal syptoms but you have coped very well.

What I did notice though was some very positive traits. 1/ You have always remained positive about your recovery. 2/ You have beaten yourself up but at the same time you have always known that despite the gambling you were a good person. One who didn't deserve all that misery and heartache. 3/ You came to see gambling as harmful to you and your family. You understood the damage it had caused and recognised it as detrimental to your life. 4/ You have been careful not to harbour any affection for the addiction, many of us have fallen by the wayside when the addiction masquerades as a friend and draws us back into the nightmare. 5/ You have always tried to remain positive and kept your sense of humour. 6/ You have shown compassion and understanding. 7/You have kept your recovery simple and to the point. 8/ You have never put on any 'airs and graces,' what you see is what you get. 9/ You have recovered your self respect and confidence but you don't take yourself too seriously.

So that's what I've got to work on so I had better get on with it. Take care and keep kicking them gambling demon dudes up the backside ...stephen x 

 

 

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