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#1 Posted on:
Tue, 16/05/2017 - 19:31

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Hi guys I'm back again for the 5th time. I'm here this time as I really need some help and encouragement from you guys, in return I will absolutely do my best to try to refrain from gambling.
I've gone off the rails recently gambling and literally cannot stop. Every time I lose I promise myself never again then 2 days later I do it again. I need to remember the pain of a big loss. I'm putting in all the stops, no carrying cash or cards avoiding areas where bookmakers are.
I really want and need to stop but am so weak at the moment I hate it. I'll spend some time reading over diaries tonigjt as I'm sure there are people in the same situation or possibly worse. I hope I can support some people along the way also. Day 1 tomorrow

Posted on:
Tue, 16/05/2017 - 20:17

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Gambling is affective my life in so many negative ways apart from my bank balance.
I've gained weight approx 3 stone, I train sometimes if I lose I don't feel like training if I win I feel like gambling more so it's lose lose. I can never get enough, it tiring and I'm sick of it. I want to get my life back in order I want to get my weight right.
It's time consuming not only in my mind but my weekends are spent watching sports following my phone waiting on results it's ridiculous I want my life back.
Worst of all tho is the effect it has on my anxiety. I'm unsure whether gambling caused the anxiety but it certainly doesn't help moods going up and down brain over working makes me worse it's got to stop.
I'm going to use this as a diary of not only my effort to quit gambling but getting other things sorted in my life also I'm finding it already helps writing my feelings down

Posted on:
Wed, 17/05/2017 - 09:30

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

So here's to day 1 again!!! Woke up with a hangover feeling, really can't keep going round like this all the time. This has Been going on for 20 years. I had 1 year off and it was the fittest and richest I've been lol. I've got a meeting where I have the opportunity to gamble on the way home today, usually means me turning up late or getting home late as I've detoured somewhere. I've removed all cards from my wallet, today I will not gamble.

Posted on:
Wed, 17/05/2017 - 19:02

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Well I got to and from my meeting without gambling, can't say I didn't think about it but I've made it. Hopefully onto the next day and what may be a tricky weekend, thank God the football season is finishing cos the sports betting is what usually triggers an avalanche of other bets. I won 500 quid last weekend but unfortunately cancelled the withdrawal so I actually won nothing. What is the point in me gambling as I always give it back plus some more. Diet has been **** today but will definitely go for a run tomorrow

Posted on:
Thu, 18/05/2017 - 09:21

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Here's to day 2, still annoyed with how stupid I've been. Thoughts creep in should u try gambling my way out of trouble what a stupid thought that is considering that's what got me in this mess. Even if I did gamble and win I wouldn't stop and would end up losing everything.
I need to constantly remind myself what gambling affects, my mind, my anxiety, my weight, my marriage, my friends. I'm taking back control of my life and this time for good.

Posted on:
Thu, 18/05/2017 - 10:42

Our Lady

Joined:
2017-02-21

Hi there hatefobts.

You say you have pulled out all the stops the stops this times to prevent you from gambling but you mentioned you not going into the betting office on the way home.  Does this not mean then, that you have self excluded yourself from any of them?  This may need to be your next big step if you really want to progress further.

Wishing you the best of luck.

Our Lady 

Posted on:
Thu, 18/05/2017 - 11:44

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Hi our Lady I travelled to London yesterday so this meant stopping on the journey back. All local betting offices have been self excluded

Posted on:
Thu, 18/05/2017 - 16:47

Our Lady

Joined:
2017-02-21

Ah ok but im sure you can exclude nationally?? I dont do betting office or fobts so maybe someone else can confirm this better.

Posted on:
Thu, 18/05/2017 - 17:26

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

Hi HF , Our Lady is right there's a national self exclution helpline where you can nationally self exclude :)).

If you click on the " Get advice " tag at the top of the page and scroll down to " What can you do " ?  then click on " Self exclution " it'll take you to where you need to be :))

Posted on:
Thu, 18/05/2017 - 18:45

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

OK thanks guys, previous experience tells me tho if I wanted to walk into those bookies and gamble I could, the self exclusion policy is not great. It works locally for me I don't want to be shamed and asked to leave. I'd much rather a card scheme with bookmakers where you have to provide id to gamble I think we are a long way off that tho.
Nevertheless day 2 gamble free is almost in the bag. Just been for a run and completed a weight training session. So unfit at the moment but am determined to stay gamble free and get fit. The weekend will be a test

Posted on:
Thu, 18/05/2017 - 19:00

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

If I'd wanted to get around the self exclusions that I put in place when I gave up gambling , then there would have been no problem as I'd only have to jump in the car and find a bookie that didn't know me ! . It's not about that but more about the time it can gift you to think about what "Placing that next bet " is going to do and the continuing carnage I was going to cause . 

Ultimately if you want to continue to gamble then you will but if nothings worked before and you continue to gamble , I'd take every weapon I could along with me , it's about taking all the control you can :))

Posted on:
Thu, 18/05/2017 - 19:20

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Spot on Alan, I put the blocks in place before leaving. It's my own will power thay self excludes not the bookies as I find they couldn't care less

Posted on:
Fri, 19/05/2017 - 17:11

Curly10

Joined:
2009-11-17

Hi H,

Cheers for posting support on my diary. Don't you give in to those urges. It'll get easier after the initial weeks.

I can say for certain that I'd be popping to the bookies on the way home to blow a few quid if not for me starting my latest diary. As it is I'll go and do a few bits around the house.

Have a great weekend. No need to ruin it by gambling.

Posted on:
Fri, 19/05/2017 - 19:00

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Cheers curly, played golf first time in 9 months today. Good to meet up with an old pal and really enjoyed it. Definitely think part of the reason I haven't played as that my mind was elsewhere and I always seemed busy or would make an excuse when really I was thinking about gambling or in the bookies. No gambling today. Spent £20 this afternoon which must be a record for a friday. Sat out the back enjoying a beer now. I must add without checking the rugby or football scores. I just find it mad that when u still even for 2-3 days your mind becomes so much clearer. Anyway tough weekend ahead, wish everyone the best for the weekend, let's hope this is my first gamble free weekend this year

Posted on:
Mon, 22/05/2017 - 20:39

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

So just finished my first gamble free weekend in ages, felt really good. Amazing how much you can do with £100 instead of just 2 spins on the roulette wheel. Hopefully I will start to value money again.
Also passed an9ther test today, I had to go to the bank to take out approx £400 to pay a debt. Usually if I take out cash I don't make it to where I'm supposed to and detour to the bookies. Even tho I had those thoughts today I made it to my destination and paid as planned. It felt really good that I was in control for a change. I'm not going to make a habit of taking out large sums but today was a test. Looking forward to some training this week and making sure my diet is right.

Posted on:
Tue, 23/05/2017 - 18:58

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Another mile stone achieved. Today I bought some new clothes without the idea of trying to win some. So many times previously I've gone to buy new clothes but get into my head I'll win a couple it hundred and have some free stuff, 20 mins later I'm 200 quid down and buying the same top but instead of it costing 50 quid it's cost 250. I could've gone on holidays with what I've lost a few times. Anyway felt good to have a little control, now trying to find the motivation to go from a run and am absolutely struggling

Posted on:
Wed, 24/05/2017 - 22:17

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

So another day gamble free but still can't get my diet together. Sure I feel depressed as I'm not gambling although gambling never has a good affect on my diet and exercise routine. It's bugging me a little if I'm honest. Does anyone else get like this when they stop as if something is missing? I don't miss losing but I do miss having something to follow as if it's been part of my life for so long. Get my head down and forget about it

Posted on:
Wed, 24/05/2017 - 22:51

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

Hi Hf .

It's crazy isn't it that not gambling makes you depressed yet  when in the grip of gambling we get depressed for the problems that very act causes ?.  Such is it's power to pull us back in and I'm pretty sure it's just as with many addictions, in that were suffering withdrawl symptoms . I know when I first stopped it left a huge hole and a massive feeling of emptyness and I really couldn't get my head around why I felt at times like going back to it when it had caused me so much heartache, so your not alone with those feelings my friend . 

It does get easier though the more distance you put between you and that last bet and for me if I'm honest I really don't get those feelings anymore , although with all the stuff I've filled my life with since giving up I'd really struggle to find time to gamble even if I wanted to .

It'll get better , just keep pushing on and once all that feel good juice starts flowing as your diet and exercise programme becomes a part of normal life and instead of gambling your life away just like I did then the results will show my friend :)).

Stay positive and look after yourself :)) .

Best wishes .............Alan  

 

 

Posted on:
Thu, 25/05/2017 - 22:03

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Thanks for the comment Alan, it's crazy how can u miss something that can cause you pain. I do enjoy it if I'm honest while it lasts and that's the problem that bad times far out weigh the good times. Also when I'm have a run of a couple of weeks winning it consumes me day and night I never save any more just buy needless **** then when I lose I'm out of pocket. Nevertheless another day down, having a beer out the back all is good

Posted on:
Fri, 26/05/2017 - 18:10

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Got through a friday afternoon with no stress which is an achievement as usually it's high and lows and me ended up a few hundred down from 10 mins of madness. I spent it running around for family and not putting off anything I've planned. Just having family over for a BBq, going to enjoy some quality time without feeling guilty of what I've been up to

Posted on:
Sat, 27/05/2017 - 11:55

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Had a great time last night little bit hungover today. Usually I'd place a load of sports bets and sit and watch the results roll in. No real urges today but will be vigilant

Posted on:
Mon, 29/05/2017 - 23:11

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

2nd gamble free weekend complete. Took parents for a spin to the seaside today. I was almost on autopilot as I walked past an amusement arcade where I would usually lose a few quid. Managed to come to my senses and not go on. Shows I shouldn't switch off

Posted on:
Mon, 29/05/2017 - 23:19

Geordielad123

Joined:
2016-10-16

Hello. Its cool reading your diary as its clear to see that you do want to stop. And youve made a cracking start mate. People outside these circles dont understand but honestly, the longer you can go the clearer your mindset will become. But you are very right in saying never switch off, you have to be black and white on it solidly. No gambling again ever. No £5 or £5 here or there, because we already know how it will end. Well done pal and keep it going, you know youve got it in you. Have you spokem to Gamcare?

Posted on:
Tue, 30/05/2017 - 18:21

Sech7

Joined:
2017-05-03

Alright mate. Well done on your progress so far. I like the honesty in your posts and I can really relate to much of what you say. The determination to never do it again feels soo strong, then the next chance we have we do exactly the same thing again. Crazy. I haven't managed to be completely gamble free recently which is frustrating. Before it all goes wrong it is enjoyable as you say but the inevitability of what is around corner should stop us. If only it was that straightforward. Keep it up

Posted on:
Tue, 30/05/2017 - 19:03

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Hi both thanks for the comments. I didn't speak to gamcare this time. I had approx 4-5 instances recently where I'd won £3-400 each time I couldn't get out of the bookies with the cash so lost the lot. In the end I just thought what is the point? I can't stop to even enjoy it so enough was enough. It took me a few quid but it was the kick that I needed.
Long way to go but just not having my brain work 24/7 about what games or odds I'll bet on has been nice. Joining fat club tonight which should give me 5he kick I need to lose some weight

Posted on:
Tue, 30/05/2017 - 19:32

Sech7

Joined:
2017-05-03

I know what you mean about not leaving with the money. Been there a hundred times. Even if you actually do walking past the next bookies is almost impossible without getting stuck back in.
It does get so much easier over time mate I did over a year a while back but then kidded myself that a few quid here and there wouldn't be a problem. That was definitely completely wrong.
The temptations can be strong but just remember how you feel after losing. It can be done

Posted on:
Tue, 30/05/2017 - 22:07

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

That's why I'm going to try to keep this going, I've quit for a few months a good few times but u start off with a small football bet and next thing I know is I'm back in the thick of it. Sad thing is I can work my way into a decent position with a few quid in the bank and I always find a way to mess it up. A couple of years back I was reading someone's diary who was saying wouldn't it be sad if I'm still here in the next to or 10 years well it is don't sort it out I will be that sad git. Time to get my head together

Posted on:
Wed, 31/05/2017 - 20:54

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Actually managed to drive by the bookies stop at a post office and not even think about going in today. Also my wife was looking at some new patio furniture today so I said she could have the money I'd saved by not gambling. Felt good to do that

Posted on:
Thu, 01/06/2017 - 18:48

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Can't say I haven't had any urges today seen an offer for a betting account that it was decent then had to shake myself. Really wish I could reprogrammed my mind to never having gambled in the first place. It's mad how this is going to be with me the rest of my life. Having a beer in the sunshine and looking forward to the rugby on Saturday. Mini goal not to gamble for the whole lions tour I'll read dress once that's complete. Usually I'd have a number of bets on the matches

Posted on:
Thu, 01/06/2017 - 19:22

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

Those urges will get easier Hf and in time you won't notice all the wonderfull " Suck em in and spit em out " advert's , my first couple of months were spent noticing every bookies shop I ever used to go in , even driving in the car it was like " Yeah been in there , been in there "  but now if I do notice one I just reminisce about how bad it got for me and how glad I am to be out of it all .

Looking forwrd to the Lions tour myself but it's nice to watch it for the game this time and not the wagers I'd watch go down !.

Have a good evening Bud :))

Posted on:
Mon, 05/06/2017 - 16:32

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Had a good weekend still gamble free. I have to be honest tho at times I was bored I do miss the thrill of the gamble I hate the way it makes me feel tho so I need to continue. Hopefully through time I don't even think about it

Posted on:
Mon, 05/06/2017 - 16:46

darkhorse2016

Joined:
2016-06-11

Hate fobts wrote:
Another mile stone achieved. Today I bought some new clothes without the idea of trying to win some. So many times previously I've gone to buy new clothes but get into my head I'll win a couple it hundred and have some free stuff, 20 mins later I'm 200 quid down and buying the same top but instead of it costing 50 quid it's cost 250. I could've gone on holidays with what I've lost a few times. Anyway felt good to have a little control, now trying to find the motivation to go from a run and am absolutely struggling

I can so relate to this, it is terrible isn't it?

Posted on:
Mon, 05/06/2017 - 22:32

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Mental mate it does weird things to you. So much can be lost in moments of madness I'm in a trance when gambling

Posted on:
Tue, 06/06/2017 - 22:12

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

21 days gamble free so far. Look forward to making a month I haven't been gamble free for that long for a while. It's not because I'm skint either it's cos I'm sick if not being able to leave the bookies because I cannot stop there literally is no point whatsoever in me gambling

Posted on:
Fri, 09/06/2017 - 16:13

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Worked on a couple of hours this afternoon. Usually I'm busting to put the bets in. Waiting for a haircut now where usually I would've walked out an ended up losing 100 quid because I couldn't be bothered to wait around. Managed to keep £60 cash in the house all week without spending a penny. Think I'll take the wife for tea. God it's better without the stress

Posted on:
Tue, 13/06/2017 - 22:12

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Still not gambled. Lost half a stone last week, went to a Spinning class tonight which almost killed me. Be nice to get another few pounds off this week. So much easier when I don't have chaos in the rest of my life. Bought new gym clothes instead of winning them roll on next week and I will have gone from payday to payday without a bet

Posted on:
Wed, 14/06/2017 - 20:56

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Well back to day 1. Had a disagreement with a family member was a bit annoyed driving home went past a bookies and put a bet on. I'm gutted but couldn't stop myself such an idiot. Worried about it all unravelling again just feel like this will be me for the rest of my life

Posted on:
Wed, 14/06/2017 - 22:27

Julie 35

Joined:
2016-11-18

Stop it at that one bet. It is done now, you cannot change it but press re-set now! And move forward

​. Work out a coping strategy for them times x

Posted on:
Wed, 14/06/2017 - 23:00

ALAN 135

Joined:
Before 2009

It really doesn't need to be like this for the rest of your life :)) .

You just have to learn how to deal with situations that will make you run to the bookies ? . There was nobody worse than me for doing that for many years , Infact I'd look for anything that would give me an excuse to run to the comforting arms of my mistress , who as long as I kept her well fed with £20 notes would tell me everything's gonna be just fine but of course as soon as the money ran out I felt a hundred times worse than if I'd dealt with the original problem , it's about breaking the cycle of bathing your wounds through gambling which in itself just opens those wound's even deeper , Go for a long walk , deep breaths or just scream and shout till the feeling goes away ..........and believe me it does go away :)) 

Posted on:
Thu, 15/06/2017 - 11:57

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

Thank you both for your comments u really do appreciate it. I woke thus morning with a gambling hangover annoyed anxious feeling terrible thinking how I'm going to get it back. As the day has gone on the I realise gambling and especially fobts are making me anxious and are affecting my life. I no longer enjoy it and it needs to go. It's not worth feeling like this. I've written the money off I'm more concerned with how it's made me feel and I don't want that. So today is day 1 again let's hope for a better effort

Posted on:
Mon, 19/06/2017 - 20:54

Hate fobts

Joined:
2015-01-22

So I haven't gambled since the last event. Felt anxious most of the weekend. Tomorrow I start back weight training seriously I'm hoping this will concentrate my mind. Keep it off the gambling, I'm glad that I lost tho as this could have been a different story