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First Diary Entry for me

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#1 Posted on:
Tue, 17/07/2018 - 11:31

stevenh60

Joined:
2018-07-02

Hi all,

I have been inspired and humbled by so many of the diary entries on here, that I have decided to create one myself, and hope to give and gain support in my journey to stop gambling once and for all.

In a nutshell, I have had multiple relapses over the year, depsite attending GA. I am awaiting a criminal case due to theft from my employer for large amounts, more of which I am sure will appear in later entries. I was sacked 11th August last year and I am still under investigation.

So today I am 31 days Gamble free, one of the longest times in the last few months. I have barriers in that parents are keeping my finances. However today I will contact and get self exclusion both through Gamstop and through the national bookmaker scheme, as I need stronger barriers and can't leave any avenues open.

After 31 days, I do feel there is more clarity. I am in the process of contacting creditors and setting up a debt plan with StepChange.

So, just one day at a time I guess... 

Steven 

Posted on:
Tue, 17/07/2018 - 18:21

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hi Steven,

Welcome to the Forum,

Well done for your amazing progress so far! It also sounds that you’ve taken the right measures to protect yourself from future gambling. However, some counselling could really help you at this stage of your recovery. For example, talking to a professional can help you make sense of your gambling behaviour and learn to deal with urges. There are also Gamblers Anonymous meetings that can help you stay focused on your recovery.

It would be a good idea to get in touch with us and have a chat with an adviser if you want to explore these options.

All the best,

Forum Admin

Posted on:
Thu, 19/07/2018 - 15:09

stevenh60

Joined:
2018-07-02

Thanks for your positive comments.

I am now past day 33, thankfully no big thoughts of gambling so far, as Im scared to go back down that path and cause more damage.

I am a regular attender of Gamblers Anon group now, been going last 4 weeks and this time it has really helped and provided a source of encouragement to me in my recovery.

Like they say, one small step at a time...

 

Posted on:
Wed, 25/07/2018 - 11:28

stevenh60

Joined:
2018-07-02

Good morning all,

Thankfully I have now reached day 40 in my recovery. Gambling thoughts thankfully have been reducing.

Things are easier now parents are looking after my money, and have access to my online banking. They will drip feed me any money I need. Today I WILL register with Gamstop and phone self exclusion, I can't leave any more avenues open.... 

Gamblers Anonymous is proving to be massively helpful, and one place I don't feel judged. The chair on Monday commented that she felt I was taking recovery this time round a lot more seriously, and pleased with the progress I was making.

Bit deflated after my personal debt has been calculated at a shade over 12,000! Starting a Debt management plan that will take 15 years to pay off, hopefully when I'm working full time this will decrease rapidly. I'm a bit scared to think of the other option of bankruptcy at the moment.... has anyone been through this?

No word as of yet from solicitor and police, so putting that at the back of my mind. I will be surpised if it's not a custodial sentence, as its possibly a six figure sum :(

Best Wishes to you all. 

Posted on:
Tue, 31/07/2018 - 11:22

stevenh60

Joined:
2018-07-02

Good Morning,

Well it has now been a clear 46 days since the last bet, so things are going well on that front. Still thoughts of gambling, trying to push them to the back of my mind.

I have self excluded via Gamstop and exclusion helpline, tested gamstop and it works - feel more confident now this is in place. Dad is keeping an eye on finances so yet another barrier in place...

Started a diet today and looking to do some gentle exercise, as feel like I haven't looked after myself for a while - got a shock when I stood on scales last night!

Nothing much else to report, still attending GA reguarly, that's a key part of my recovery.

Hope people are doing well.

Best Wishes

Steven

Posted on:
Mon, 06/08/2018 - 18:02

stevenh60

Joined:
2018-07-02

Now 52 days GF....

I'm so happy I've reached over 50 days, my next target is 60. Going to GA tonight as usual.

Feel more confident now all barriers are in place. I don't want to get complacent though, keep on my toes! Still get the thoughts, but less frequent now.

Happier now my finances are improving, even for day to day things like putting petrol in car.

Hope things are OK with you all

Steven

 

 

 

Posted on:
Mon, 06/08/2018 - 19:03

ODAAT

Joined:
2014-11-10

Congrats on your 52 days!

SO good to see people here not relying solely on blocks & willpower!

Enjoy GA :-)

Posted on:
Tue, 07/08/2018 - 10:32

Forum admin

Joined:
2010-11-01

Hi stevenh60,

Big congrats on 53 days gamble free, that is huge progress. As you can see blocks do make a bit difference, so make sure to keep those in place.

Keep posting and keep focussing on your recovery and all the positives your journey brings.

All the best,

Eva

Forum Admin

Posted on:
Thu, 16/08/2018 - 10:17

stevenh60

Joined:
2018-07-02

I have reached 60 days! On day 62 today....

Feeling a bit more positive now I've reached this milestone :) First payment towards debt has gone out and feel better about my finances. Doing some health related stuff, giving myself an MOT with things neglected - opticians and dentists.

My small savings pot is now £18.00 - so progress is being made. GA again tonight and looking forward to the support. 

 

 

Posted on:
Thu, 16/08/2018 - 10:43

ITDamo

Joined:
2016-01-26

Hi Steven,
Just wanted to say well done for getting to 60 days.

You are putting all the right things in place through exclusions and handing finances over....also regularly attending GA is certainly going to help you to get to where you want to be. Sorry to hear about your criminal case but hopefully demonstrating the things you have put into place can only be a positive thing.
All the best
Damo