Worried mum

Hi knickerbox 

he can sign up to gamstop, he can show you the email. It blocks uk online sites that are signed up to it. There’s also gamban to download to gadgets.

there are bank accounts that don’t allow gambling transactions. Accounts that you can have notifications if transactions.

if he’s willing maybe help manage his finances. Set up a budget, look at credit reports. If he’s in lots of debt get him to talk to stepchange and get some advice. 
this is a slippery slope and can get out of control very quickly. Take it seriously and try to get some advice from gamcare and Gamanon.

he can look at GA and online meetings via zoom. Also gamcare have counselling.

money is their drug so restricting access is vital.

Hi worried mum. And what a wonderful Mum you are for coming on here to seek help. I understand you want to fix it all but if he helps himself he will do better. You are doing the best for him by being there and allowing him to be open and honest. 

as a person who is living this (in recovery from my own addiction) I can’t recommend gamstop enough. Please keep talking to us if you need help or support 

There is a lot of help available. I have been a gambler many years and personally i was very good at keeping things bottled up. Being supportive will be a great help to him. If he is willing for you to help then keeping track of his finances. If he has savings and doesn’t want them in the next few years move them to a fixed savings scheme whereby he cannot have access. Monzo is a very good bank. They will block gambling transactions and they limit spending on your debit card. They have an excellent online chat and are very helpful. Gamban and gamblock may be able to block his mobile phone and computer. Hope this helps. One day at a time and talk to him. It is very difficult to own up to this problem but he is lucky to have a good family like yours . All the best x

Hi... I am now a middle aged compulsive gambler, working recovery as best i can. But I have a mum whom has spent many years worrying about me. 

In one sense I can only echo what others have said. There are plenty of practical options to aid your son to stop himself gambling, if that is what he wants to do. However the unfortunate thing is that you can't force him to do any of these things. It has to come from him and he has to want to do it.

Iv'e been reading and writing on these forums for years and sometimes I think that the best thing that mums and any loved one's can do is

1. Don't feed the addiction by giving money or paying off loans or minimising and making excuses for his behaviours etc 

2. Allow him to make his mistakes

3. Use your understanding of your son's personality and state of mind to help him help himself. Remember that most compulsive gamblers actually have low self-esteem (even the one's with Ego's the size of Jupier) and when you look beneath the surface the gambling is nothing to do with money but more a reaction to life and how they feel about themselves. So that being said....

4. Encourage anything positive your son does. I think what i mean by this is if say your son is into sports, then encourage that, buy him some running trainers, football boots or a bike. Just don't give him the cash. sport and exercise in general I find is the closest I have ever come to replacing the gambling with something healthy.

When we feel better about ourselves. We are less likely to do self-destructive things??

Remember... you can't fix him. He will find his own path over time.

All the best

The best advice I can give is to educate yourself of the subject of problem gambling, but the fact that you are on here means you have got the ball rolling already. Read the post on these forums and you will see that a compulsive gambler can destroy all around them unless they are willing to change and get help. It is a great sign that he has opened up to you and asked for help as shame holds us back.  

I know he is your son, but until you know all the facts then you simply cannot fully trust what he says in relation to this. I would suggest sitting down and letting him know you are willing to support him through this but you need to have access to his accounts so you can do a proper inventory to see exactly where you stand. By that I mean his email account, his credit report, his bank account and of course and gambling accounts he has. The reason for this is we tend to hide our problem thinking we can sort it ourselves. In fact most compulsive gamblers only seek help when we hit 'rock bottom' and basically have no access to funds. Dont be surprised if he does not want to give you access but in my opinion its necessary as you need to see the extent to his gambling and how he funded it.

I know it sounds a bit daunting but you need to go into this with your eyes open.  If you have any questions just ask.

The best advice I can give is to educate yourself of the subject of problem gambling, but the fact that you are on here means you have got the ball rolling already. Read the post on these forums and you will see that a compulsive gambler can destroy all around them unless they are willing to change and get help. It is a great sign that he has opened up to you and asked for help as shame holds us back.  

I know he is your son, but until you know all the facts then you simply cannot fully trust what he says in relation to this. I would suggest sitting down and letting him know you are willing to support him through this but you need to have access to his accounts so you can do a proper inventory to see exactly where you stand. By that I mean his email account, his credit report, his bank account and of course and gambling accounts he has. The reason for this is we tend to hide our problem thinking we can sort it ourselves. In fact most compulsive gamblers only seek help when we hit 'rock bottom' and basically have no access to funds. Dont be surprised if he does not want to give you access but in my opinion its necessary as you need to see the extent to his gambling and how he funded it.

I know it sounds a bit daunting but you need to go into this with your eyes open.  If you have any questions just ask.