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Why is there no support for families.  

 
CalleyWalley1988
(@calleywalley1988)

struggling with a partner that has extremely bad gambling problem. Thousands of pounds in stocks & shares for an addrenline rush. Easily spends £360 in casino’s for the thrill of the nightlife atmosphere. Spends bets on football match £70 regularly  like its nothing. Non stop taking gambles on jobs and losing them easily from boredom and shopping sprees 1K like its normal.

I’ve sat in food banks, scraped pennies out of penny jar for kids pack lunches and basics like bread and milk while they are out eating steaks, gone from home 72hrs after work in casino’s. I’ve sat and looked at pills before gutted from lies, betrayal and disappointment. I’ve threatened to pack my bags with not a bat of an eyelid because they don’t care. I’ve learn’t gambling comes with a terrible trait, lying and sneaking around comes with it, half truths or misleading half truths. The disrespectful attitude towards loved ones from adrenaline fix that needs feeding and awful mood swings. Women and nightlife and taking risks in jobs, investments, friendships and families become nothing to them. 

There is no help for families to help someone that does not want to be helped. A solution has not yet come across for me. 

The final breakdown for me was my 7 year old being left outside a bookies on her own for bets to be placed while i was working. Battling influences in society is a struggle and bookies shouldn’t allow this to happen to children to make a business. The secretcy becomes a normal thing and abuse follows. I started being accused of micromanaging and being controlling. Making sure their is food on the table from a good wage is normal basic needs of a human being... not control. I found myself doubting my own thoughts and actions. I wasn’t and am not the one making others suffer. 

Quote
Posted : 17th October 2019 2:40 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Dear CalleyWalley1988,

Welcome to the forum and well done for posting.

Sounds like you are having a tough time and your partners gambling is affecting you and your child's life in may areas. Please do think about giving us a call either on the netline or calling our free phone number 0808 8020 133 and speaking to one of our advisers for advice and support. We are available 24/7.

Best wishes

Forum Admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 17th October 2019 10:23 pm
Merry go round
(@merry-go-round)

Hi calleywalley in no shape or form is this your fault. The only person you can trust is yourself at the moment. I agree there is very little support for f&f in the community. But there are gamanon meetings, look and see if there is one near you, even if you have to travel some distance I'd go. They are also online Sunday night 8-9. Look on website. Call gamcare too. A coda  meeting can also help. Just for support.

Is there anyway you can control his finances or get him to pay for food? Stepchange are a good resource to help with debt.

this is a chaotic lifestyle and it's about you looking after yourself and safeguarding your finances. Keep talking and ask questions. Unfortunately we have all experienced what you are dealing with.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18th October 2019 7:35 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hello CallyWally

Following on from the above posts, I just wanted to let you know that there is quite a lot of support available that you may be aware of, and it's all free. Here is some information, plus links.

Firstly, anyone affected by someone else's gambling can be referred for one to one support (a bit like counselling), with a treatment practitioner. This can be either face to face, on the phone, or online face to face via zoom. You can contact our Help or NetLines for a referral, or self-refer here: https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/find-local-treatment/

Then there's our website where we have this Forum, the Chat Room (open for gamblers and their friends and family 1-2pm and 8-9pm) and useful information in our friends and family leaflet here: https://www.gamcare.org.uk/app/uploads/2019/07/PG-Support-Friends-and-Family-General-web-2.pdf

Merry-go-Rounds suggestion of GamAnon http://gamanon.org.uk/?page_id=173 and CODA (if appropriate)  http://coda-uk.com/coda-uk-meetings/  is also excellent.

Finally, as mentioned above, one to one support and information is available 24/7 on our NetLines (through the website) and HelpLine 0808 8020 133.

Please do contact us to discuss how best you can get the support you need.

Best wishes

Forum Admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18th October 2019 10:15 am
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