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Terrance
(@terrance)

Hi, 

my partner has a gambling problem, it’s getting to the point now where money is borrowed from one person just to pay back another.  

debts have been absorbed as much as I can by me, but I’ve no way of covering them anymore.  

my partner doesn’t seems to realise just how serious things are financially.  We no longer have enough money coming in to cover outgoings... and that’s before any gambling.  

The trigger for gambling has been put down to our failing relationship and my behaviour.  

I try to keep things calm but the financial stress is huge!  My partner has had suicidal thoughts and uses gambling to prevent a worse fate.  

my partner goes through stages where help is asked for, but that can soon be turned round and left unactioned.  

what do I do?  

Quote
Posted : 24th September 2020 11:41 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Admin

Hi @terrance,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for posting about your experience.

First of all, you can contact the following debt advice agencies for support to make your debts more manageable:

National Debtline – 0808 808 4000  www.nationaldebtline.org
StepChange – 0800 138 1111  www.stepchange.org

But obviously if your partner continues gambling and you continue absorbing the financial consequences then this will only be a temporary fix. 

The other members of this forum have a huge amount of experience and wisdom to share, and that is invaluable. I would recommend getting in touch with our advisers on the Helpline (0808 8020 133) or the Netline (www.gamcare.org.uk/netline) to discuss your situation in detail and have some help to figure out what the best next steps are for you. It's a 24 hour service, so you can contact us anytime. 

It must be very stressful for you also that your partner is having suicidal thoughts, if you can encourage them to see their GP and talk about these feelings, that might be a positive step.

All the best,

Elizabeth
Forum Admin

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25th September 2020 6:55 am
Joe-90
(@joe-90)

Hi Terrance, 

Sorry to hear what you are going through, its so difficult and stressful living with an addict as you see from other posts on here. Bottom line of it all is your partner needs help, so sit down and have an honest discussion with them.  However its up to her to get help, you can advice and support as much as possible but at the end of the day recovery is in her hands.

The good news from your post is your partner seems to realise they have a problem. You can tell them you have looked into it, you can refer them to this forum, look up the nearest GA meeting but again its in their hands what to do with that information.

One thing that is in your control is support for you as this is extremely stressful for you understandably. First thing you should do is attend a GamAnon meeting, google their website as I believe they have a virtual meeting each week. Their you will speak to and hear from others in the very same situation as yourself.

Keep posting on here and I wish you all the best.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25th September 2020 9:34 am
Stace🌹
(@stace)

Hi Terrance, have you tried talking to your partner. You say she's suicidal and gambling prevents her from a worse fate, something I can completely relate to as I am the same. Personally with me I would just want my partner to talk to me calmly, and support me. She's clearly in a bad place and although there's a financial strain on your relationship and it just be hard to cope with when you don't know how. But just talking to her calmly, taking over financial responsibility and being supportive will help massively. 

I wish u all the best 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25th September 2020 11:03 pm
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