Trying to stay strong

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(@mummyof2)
Posts: 12
Topic starter
 

Hi all,

How is everyone coping with this lockdown? My partner still feels the urge to gamble and feels ‘bored’ without it. He begs me for money which i refuse. He didn’t get his full wage and will be on furlough. I work for the nhs so still working, we have two young daughters to keep him busy, but it seems he just wants to think about gambling all the time. Starting to lose the plot! We’ve got to be strict with money with the current situation, let alone with him begging me for gambling money. I feel he only gets joy out of his gambling now. Even when cerain debts are paid off instead of saving he’d rather gamble the money away so in a way there’s no point debts being paid off when he’ll just throw the money away that we’re trying to save. I always wanted to buy our own home, which used to be his dream too but i can never see this happening now. This lockdown just makes it worse : (

Hope others are managing to cope 

This topic was modified 4 years ago 2 times by Mummyof2
 
Posted : 7th April 2020 12:03 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 5944
Admin
 

Dear @Mummyof2

Thank you so much for posting on the Forum and I am sorry to hear you are going through this. Working for the NHS at the moment must be causing you added stress so having your partner's gambling to deal with as well must be very difficult for you. Well done for reaching out for help and support today. Obviously, the lockdown is having an effect on many people and it seems like your partner is finding it very tough. As hard as it might seem, you are doing the right thing by refusing to give him any money and you're right that your money needs to stretch even further during this lockdown period. He may be feeling low due to not working and staying home with two children and it sounds like you're doing everything you can to support him. 

You are more than welcome to get in touch with us for some extra support or even just to talk things through. Either by the live chat on the website or by calling the helpline free 0808 802 0133, we are available for 24 hours a day, every day of the week. Alternatively, if you would like one of our advisers to call you, please email forum.admin@gamcare.org.uk and we will arrange a convenient time to call you.

We are also here for your partner if he would like to get in touch, especially as he is struggling with his urges at the moment. 

Wishing you all the very best.

 

Keely.

Forum Admin 

 

 
Posted : 7th April 2020 1:55 pm
(@losingcolour92)
Posts: 61
 

Hi mummy of 2

First all that is for all you're help as an NHS employee! Hard times we live in at the moment and you guys are really smashing it out there on the frontline!!

You are definitely doing the right things by keeping him busy with his 2 girls and hopefully with time that will start to fill his time mentally and physically. 

All i would say is, and this is coming from somebody with a gambling problem; I've handed over money control and that's been a he'll but the big thing for me was blocks. I've put them in place now and I physically cannot gamble. I only started gambling again recently when my 5 year ban was lifted with gamstop and other blocks expired. Deffo worth getting the other blocks in place especially with this lockdown. I should know I just relapsed more than likely because of the boredom that lockdown is bringing to us all. Not that's it's a good excuse but it's a reason we do it I suppose

Thank you again 

 
Posted : 7th April 2020 3:19 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)
Posts: 2156
 

Hi Mummyof2.

I just cant get over the fact that he is asking to gamble. Strange times indeed but even more so gambling is not the answer to furlough, boredom anxiety or anything else......it never was.

Its not acceptable and you can not be a shrinking violet over this. Now I dont know your relationship and I wouldnt presume to do so but I know the immense dangers of having a compulsive gambler in your home..

I know that it would give no security for my possessions or living standards. I know all the stations on the ride to hell. Fortunately I got off early enough to save myself

He needs verbal reality checks if you are safe to do so. One of those reality checks is that you will be off he he continues this behaviour. Ok its easy for me to say that but are you really going to put up with this in your life?

As an addict he is ill ...no two ways about that as he will lose everything thats actually important in his life.

I dont know how you are putting up with it and the stress it causes.  Build a support network of family and friends if you can. Phone gamcare again for the one to one voice and keep building strength and knowledge.

You do an important job. You deserve better in your home life

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

 

This post was modified 4 years ago by Joydivider
 
Posted : 8th April 2020 3:57 am

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