I recently found out my partner had been gambling for about 18 months after a very long period of not. It started in lockdown just after we had a baby. He has since done all this right things, started meetings, counselling, gamstop etc.
We were 8 weeks away from getting married when he confessed and I feel so betrayed and disrespected and just don't know if we can come back from that. On the other hand the thought of breaking up the family breaks my heart. This aside, he is a great dad and partner. We had also planned for another baby next year and I don't know if that would be a really stupid thing to do, to make myself vulnerable with 2 children.
I'm scared that with everything he has done to make it very hard to gamble, he may be pushed to find dodgy ways to gamble if he relapses.
Does anyone have any similar experience and advice?
Thank you x
Dear @Flicker123
Thank you for coming to the forum and for sharing your story.
I am sorry to hear what you are going through with your partner's gambling problem.
Can I suggest that you contact the GamCare Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or Netline to explore the support that is available to you. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you would like to talk to one of the GamCare Helpline Advisers.
Take care
Best wishes
Sallie
Forum Admin
Hello Flicker123 and welcome to the forum.
It's so difficult when you discover a partner or loved one has been gambling and you will probably feel so many mixed emotions - anger, betrayal, sadness and more.
It is a positive that you partner confessed to you and has now put blocks in place. These steps imply that he is serious about giving up.
Only you can decide ultimately whether you want to stay together. There will always be a chance that he could relapse. It's a life long addiction and you will have to remain vigilant and never be complacent.
However people can and do manage to abstain and go on to live happier lives. Your partner has to be fully committed though. It has to come from him to be successful.
There is a chance that your partner could put this behind him and you could go on to have a happy future together. It sounds as if you are both fairly young. In my own experience, I discovered my husband's gambling much later in life and I have always felt sad that he was gambling for much of the time that our children were growing up.
He is a good husband and father though and although I was devastated initially, we have stayed together and he has abstained for almost a year.
You have to do what is best for you. Whatever you decide, keep posting. You will get advice and support here.
Take care.
J
Hi... I am a compulsive gambler.
To answer some of your thoughts. Yes, for sure if your partner really wants to gamble, he will, irrespective of practical barriers and support. Gambling opportunities are just too prevalent in society. It is also true that you will never know for sure whether your partner is gambling or not. In one respect its just a question of whether you are prepared to live with that thought going forward.
On a positive I sense that perhaps your partner hasn't gone as far down the gambling rabbit hole as some of us on here. So if he has already willingly taken steps to make it harder for himself to gamble, then that's a good thing.
I guess at the end of the day only you can make that decision and take that risk. You know him best.
Regards.. S.A
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