Should I give up?

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(@julie123)
Posts: 1
Topic starter
 

First post, sorry it’s long.

My husband has always gambled in the 21 yrs we’ve been together. Initially small football bets however This has escalated over time and he is gambling £1000 a week mainly online casino. I found out the extent of this approx 18 months ago. He’s promised time and again to stop/seek help but then time and again I find out that he hasn’t and is still gambling. 

Our finances are separate and he hasn’t got into debt (yet). The gambling is always his priority he is constantly on his phone all evening even when we are with other people. 

I have no one to turn to or talk to (elderly parents and no other family or friends). I want to support him to stop but I genuinely don’t think he wants to or cares about the affect this is having on us. And if that is the case is it even worth me bothering?

 
Posted : 6th December 2020 11:52 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 5974
Admin
 

Dear @julie123

Thank you for using our forum and for sharing your story.

I can understand that you are concerned about your husband’s gambling and the possible consequences because of how this has escalated over time. I also hear your frustration that you are aware of, and can see what is happening, but don’t have it within your power to fix this.

Please Julie don’t feel alone with this. Although you don’t have anyone close to talk to there are those who want to offer their help and support.

If you have not already done so I would encourage you to speak with one of our Advisers on the netline or helpline (0808 8020 133). We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Kind regards

Jo

Forum Admin

 
Posted : 6th December 2020 12:22 pm
(@craig724)
Posts: 63
 

Sorry to hear your story Julie, first thing I would suggest is you sit him down, and talk about possibly joining all your finances together, joint bank accounts wages going in same account etc etc so you can see and monitor everything , £1,000 a week is a big sum and surly that can’t continue. Other option is you having complete control over his finances, a lot of people find that works. He’s got to want to quit himself, otherwise he’s going to just keep telling you what  you want to hear 

 
Posted : 6th December 2020 1:48 pm
Merry go round
(@merry-go-round)
Posts: 1494
 

Hi Julie 

I have never had any joint account with my husband, I don’t want to be responsible for his debt. 
You can have his money paid to you or control his account. Credit reports , gamstop, gamban. Communication is vital if you want to move forward. You need to express how much his gambling is affecting you and how much time he’s gambling.

Get support from all agencies gamcare, gamanon and the forum.

 
Posted : 6th December 2020 2:35 pm

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