Hi there, I don’t really have a question looking more for support for people that have been and are in situations like mine, and hopefully a few success stories? In the past couple months I found out my partner of 3 years had relapsed. Gambling was something he hit hard on before we were together and was never an issue in the relationship as he had a ban on his accounts which seemed to work. However at the end of last year things took a turn. Unbeknown to me his ban had finished and the temptation was obviously too much to bare for him. He was acting strangely and in my gut I knew it was gambling but he kept on denying this. A couple months into this year he broke down and admitted relapse claiming he had lost 5k of savings that we where putting towards a house deposit. From this I would do over the phone counselling to further my knowledge on gambling and how I could help him. He also put a 5 year ban on his accounts at this time. However It has since came to light that there is other forms of debt such as loans and credit cards and has little to no savings left. The betrayal and heartbreak is horrific. I have decided to take a step away from the relationship in order for him to focus on himself as he has contacted and is starting counselling. He still thinks the relationship is fixable but doesn’t seem to understand the lack of trust is what is pushing me away. He had the chance to admit all the first time but instead only told me snippets to then cause further heartbreak months later. I would love nothing more than to be with him. He was someone I was planning my future with and was excited to spend the rest of my life with.
Hi Margaret
I feel in a similar situation to you. Partner of 5 years, he has lost us everything time and time again. Promises to stop, it never lasts long. The lies he uses to cover it up aren’t even believable. It’s not just the gambling that destroys the relationship, it’s the lies and deceit - even after they know how it’s destroying you. He has walked away from our family, our children because of this addiction. I cling to the hope that he will choose us and finally stop, but I think I’m in denial.
I hope things work out for you x
hi there, I am soo sorry about your situation it’s truly saddening how it can turn the person you love into someone you hardly recognise. I hope you and your kids get the happiness you’s deserve x
Hi Margaret,
This is my first interaction on Gamcare and I'm reaching out to say how much I feel for you, I'm just now in an almost identical situation to you. My partner of 8 years had a relapse 5 years ago that was really tough to work through, but we managed, up until recently, where it came to light they recently relapsed once more. The damage is less significant than before, but the broken trust and betrayal feels just as raw. I've removed myself from the situation for a few days to process my feelings and try to get a better understanding for the both of us. If you are still active on the site I would really like to chat and see how you are managing 4 months on? I really hope you are in a better place yourself with everything x
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